Money debt and trust

[Djg83]

Long story so will try and keep short I have been with the other half over 9 years now and have 2 beautiful children 4 and 2 but my wife has always had issues regarding money she has had bad debt in the past but managed to sort herself out but 6 months ago I found out she was 1800 in debt with the bank and most was over draft fees and I paid it off to avoid any legal action but as its Christmas and we are only 11 days into December she has blown all her wages on presents already and needs more money I cant keep bailing her out so she has told me she will get a pay day loan. I told my self earlier in the year if she did that then she will have to leave am I wrong to be thinking this way? How many chances should I give her. The hardest problem is she is under pressure from her family to buy presents she only works part time so can't afford to keep up with them

Do you not buy things jointly? Did you set any sort of budget for Christmas?

Money has always been kept separate no joint accounts she has always kept her financials private and so have I it may seem odd but it kind of works. Regards Xmas I buy for my family and she buys for hers I just keep my spending in control she can't. She will never open up regarding money so it's always been an issue but obviously when she's not in debt there's nothing to worry about

I see she only works part time - presumably this is due to childcare responsibilities?
Are you sure money is being shared out fairly - you aren't still doing 50% bills each for example?
Otherwise, I think you need to sit down and work out a budget together and stick to it.

I pay for everything mortgage, gas, electric, water, all TV and Internet bill, prime, Netflix, food etc, run her around in the car I over spend almost every month by 300 and have to rely on bonuses not to be in debt every penny she earns she keeps so has more free money to spend

As a family you need to work our what money you have coming in, where it's going, and what it's left. It's too late now, but you can both start saving for next Christmas, either by opening a regular saving account, or by joining a Christmas club. If you are both open about money you can work together to resolve any problems.

She just can't save its almost like once she's paid it has to be spent in 48 hours then moans for 28 days having no money. Its always someone's birthday or someone needs help feels like her own little family me and the kids are an after thought very frustrating

Sounds lime you are no better if you overspend each month.

I over spend to knowing that every 1/4 I should get a decent bonus through work that will cover the over spend also whenever I say we need to tighten our belts if a bonus is not looking likely I just get an Earful from the other half. I have just tried to discuss money but won't speak to me and the pay day loan is going to happen. I'm not poor but not well off just getting by sometimes you have to accept other people are better off try not to compete and just get by in life