CSA making us poor! What other measures can we take?

[whydothiswhenyoudothat]

My husband and I worked out our budget last night and we cannot believe that whatever we have got coming in, it is going straight back out again! Our biggest outgoing after rent, council tax, etc. is CSA. My husband pays for one child. He is also in arrears because of CSA as they fucked up his calculations a few years ago! Every month, £500 is going out of his account then we have got to pay everything else, including our DS who is 2. We both work - I work part time and he works full time. He goes childminders which tax credits help pay for but unfortunately my husband keeps doing overtime so it means my tax credits have now reduced so we are paying an extra £150 a month out of our own pocket paying the CM. I'm only on minimum wage and my husband only earns 18k a year.

I will explain what measures I am taking to save money:

• I change tariffs every year with energy suppliers, broadband and car insurance to find the cheapest deals

• I am cutting down the use of gas and electric and just warming up using dressing gowns and water bottles

• I shop in Aldi and Lidl. The cheapest supermarket I can go to!

• I am meal planning and home cooking everything from scratch. No takeaways

• We don't smoke or drink

• I buy non branded products and go for the cheapest I can in order to save a few pennies

• Charity shops if we need to buy clothes

I am doing everything I possibly can. I have been awake all night thinking about it :( what do I do? I feel like we are paying too much CSA and he has asked for a variation form but they will not send one because he doesn't qualify! We are just about living. My worry is our cars are old so if one our cars break down which we need to get to work we we both work over 10 miles away, and take DS to and from CM, then we are basically fucked (excuse the language).

Do you know when the arrears are due to be paid off by? How much is the arrears element of the £500? Could you ask if that bit could be reduced a little bit so you could pay it off over a longer period?

While I'm a great believer that NRP should pay for their kids, £500 a month does sound a lot on an 18k salary. When is the annual review? My ex is (supposed) to pay £81pw his salary is quite a bit higher. You need to ask for a review as you feel you're paying too much, also ask for the arrears to be lowered. When's the annual review? They should go on figures from last tax year but tbh the overtime is probably bumping it up quite a bit. Might be worth working out if it's worth it between tax credits and CM

Also, payments for one child should be around 10% of his wages so definitely sounds too high

his ex must have really struggled when he wasn’t paying the right amount though.

The arrears don't need to paid off over two years! It needs to be an affordable amount for the paying parent. My ex owes me over 15k god I'd love it if he paid it off over two years. You need to go back to CMS and ask for a recalculation, tell then you're struggling financially and take it from there

Your name change has failed.

And I imagine a lot of support will wane after that last post.

Have you considered going full time?

I agree, Anchor.

The ex could be a millionaire and he’d still have a legal and moral duty to provide for his child

It must be a significant amount of arrears racked up over a long period of time for the arrears payment to be so high.

Some ex wives are evil bitches. Some are lovely. The OP knows the truth.

@AnchorDownDeepBreath I know. I have informed MN about it! It doesn't matter.

And I don't mean to come across like that. I am just a bit stressed out at the moment. I shouldn't have said what I said in my last post!

I could work full time but that means paying more money out on childcare so I'd essentially be working just to pay child minder as I don't earn that much money. I have nobody to look after him. That's the problem with my life I don't have anyone who can support me. We all have to do it by ourselves :(

@RolandDeschainsGilly it is but it was CSA fault, not my husband's.

donajimena - is that you with another name change, OP?

Thank you @crumpetsandcoffee think my husband and I need to discuss it when we get a chance! Hopefully tonight if possible. I'm sure everything will fall into place... Let's hope for a better year in 2019 lol.

@DisrespectfulAdultFemale no? That's not me. I only namechanged once! Which I am hoping MN will remove the post with my original one as soon as possible.

It sounds like there's more to this but you've swallowed the "my ex is evil" line hook line and sinker. She has his "assets" you mean their marital home? Because she should have been the one to leave with a young child? An inheritance? You mean she's lost a parent? None of this means he shouldn't pay for his child, including the arrears he owes

I'm sorry you are struggling, but you lost my sympathy totally with that last remark. Even if his ex is a bitch, that does mean the father does not have a duty to his child. There is no such thing as a cheap, low maintenance child.

She's not saying he shouldn't pay, she's saying they're very broke and paying child maintenance plus arrears is part of the reason why.

OP: not sure if mumsnet is best place to get advice about child maintenance arrears etc. You need to check with someone with specialist knowledge. You could try citizens advice or similar service in your area

@Coyoacan I know and I said I am sorry! I didn't mean for it to come across like that. Of course he has a duty and I completely understand. I just wrote it without thinking. I did ask MN to remove it due to namechange fail and because it was not a nice thing to say either.

I think that you are seeing his kid’ needs as “optional”. They are not, the CSA won’t charge more than 15% of a net salary (and that is for someone who doesn’t have the kids over night, otherwise is reduced even further. So the question is, can he keep a part time SAHM and two kids on the last 85% of the reminding salary. At that level of salary, you are taking the Micky. Besides, I’m pretty sure that with a family and him working full time and you part time, you should be in receipt of more money in tax credits than what he pays in CM.

Another possibility is that he is not being truthful about his income or the level of payments.

How is the CSAs fault? Have you seen the paperwork? It’s more likely he was lying about his income and they caught him red handed, hence the arrears and high level of repayments.

I would def want to see the paperwork

@NotSureThisIsWhatIWant the Child Maintanence team can take up to 40% of the non resident parents salary, depending how much arrears have wracked up. They need to call them and have a reassessment done, every case is different. As I said previously my ex owes over 15k. When he does pay, he pays £20 per week toward the arrears. Still less than 500 a month and that's for 2 kids

That sounds an excessive amount. I did the CSA calculator for someone earning £18k with one child at home and paying CSA for one child and it worked out at £37per week (£160ish a month). So why on earth is he paying £500?? www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance