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Original poster

Child Maintenence- WWYD?

15 replies

Jules019 · 04/12/2018 19:04

I'm currently a lone parent. DD's father has been absent since I fell pregnant and following this he arranged to pay £150 a month maintenance which was a private agreement. He has kept to this with a reminder here and there but he has now changed his number so I can't get in contact (but has still been paying). As far as I know he earns around £3k a month and going from the maintenance calculator this would work out that I would get around £300 a month, which I believe may change monthly since he earns different amounts although this would still be more than I receive currently.

Just wondering what you would do in my position. I am struggling to pay rent and nursery fees which are extortionate and could do with some extra help. The problem I have is that he is very controlling and won't like it if I take him to CMS (he previously mentioned he wouldn't like this) and I feel he may cause problems ie suggest my daughter is not his which will prolong the process and in the meantime he will most likely stop paying the £150 which is helping a lot currently.

I could do without the loss of this however I know he is getting far more money than I am and frequently buys new cars while I'm struggling to pay nursery fees and work.

Just would like to know what other people would do in my position. Thank you!!

OP posts:
ADarkandStormyKnight · 04/12/2018 19:09

You have years ahead of you so getting him to pay properly sooner rather than later could make a big difference in the long term.

If you contact the CMS they may be able to advise?

ghostsandghoulies · 04/12/2018 19:17

Do you have any other way to contact him like social media, postal address etc? I would be giving him a deadline for contact before going to CMS?
Is he self-employed or employed? The self-employed can use loopholes to reduce CMS payable.

Original poster
Jules019 · 04/12/2018 19:30

He claimed he's moved address although I'm not sure how true this is. I don't know his previous address as we was together a very short amount of time, and as for social media he removed me from everything so there's no way I can contact at all!

That's another issue, he works for his father's company but he did mention that he was self employed. I'm not sure how this works but he gets pay slips through HMCR so I'm not sure whether he is fully self employed or not!

OP posts:
Ba3103 · 04/12/2018 19:51

Is he on your child's birth certificate?

Original poster
Jules019 · 04/12/2018 20:10

He's not of the birth certificate no!

OP posts:
Ozziewozzie · 04/12/2018 20:20

Ignore him. I’ve just been through something similar, except I’d been married to ex, father of my 2 dc. The cms will work very fast to calculate maintenance, particularly if he’s an employee. They expect maintenance to be paid on time and it really doesn’t matter what he tells them about being the biological father or not. He will have a liability to pay unless he can prove by organised DNA that he is not. So basically he will have to pay immediately. The cms also charge said father for dna test and they facilitate this through gp. ID must be taken to local gp to verify it’s him and the same for your dc. Gp sends off I believe. He’s obviously sure he’s the father otherwise he wouldn’t be paying in the first place. Who would? Ignore his threats. The law states a percentage of his salary. You’re not trying to bleed him dry for money for a new hand bag. X

Ozziewozzie · 04/12/2018 20:22

Cms have full access to HMRC. They can see his full taxable income including dividends. They can also search for property and assets which provide an income or owned assets in a company. Just give cms his dads company details. His dads company have no choice but to supply information. It’s a legal requirement that he pays.,

Starlight456 · 04/12/2018 20:28

Under ordinary circumstances I would say cms . A combination of self employed or employed by dad I can guarantee his dad would lie too

Original poster
Jules019 · 04/12/2018 21:03

The only thing I'm worried about is whether he is self employed or not. It's hard to say as I never got much information since we wasnt together long but all I know is I believe it's his dad's company or if not his dad is high up in the company. I was aware that he often got paid for days he had off etc so I'm a bit concerned they may get around this but then if they were to lie on pay slips I would have thought they would get caught out by taxes since his previous pay slips have all been through HMCR and have been taxes etc. I know absolutely nothing about how self employed works however this may be a problem if they alter things

OP posts:
8dayweek · 04/12/2018 23:46

Can you look him / his Dad up on Companies House to see if the company is his / theirs. If you find them, the filed accounts might shed some light on the set up and help with your decision making process.

ohreallyohreallyoh · 05/12/2018 08:28

If he's self employed and/or works for dad's company you have very little chance of getting extra money if you go to the CMS and every chance of what you are getting reducing to nothing at all. The self employed can manipulate the situation - usually legally (although not always) - to their advantage.

If he has payslips, however, then he's being paid on a PAYE basis which is positive. It's just that if it's his business (or father's business) and they choose to change this (which they can do), you will be stuck. It's a gamble. I would see if you can work out if the company concerned is definitely in the hands of family and take it from there - accounts are free to view on Companies House website.

Original poster
Jules019 · 05/12/2018 09:38

Thank you for the advice! I've tried to look for the company however I'm unaware of the name of it so I'm struggling to get anywhere! I'm not even sure where it's based as my ex did engineering and worked all over the place.

OP posts:
TimberTot · 05/12/2018 11:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

19lottie82 · 05/12/2018 12:09

Search for his name and job title, he may be on LinkedIn or similar which should post the company name then you can cross reference it on the companies house website.

Original poster
Jules019 · 05/12/2018 17:08

I've had a look on both and seat his name etc but I haven't found anything. He has a very common name so it's bringing up a lot of searches and I don't know the company name nor his position which I don't think is helping hmm

OP posts:
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