Financial/budgeting/mortgage worries - views appreciated

[Jetbet11]

Hi, I'm new to mumsnet and see the chat section is so full of great information and advice etc, so I'm hoping for some views/help. Please bear with me!
I'm a 53 year old single mum of older teenagers - age 16 and 15 - and am beginning to worry a lot about money. I've been on my own with them since they were babies ad I feel I'm in a very precarious situation but family and friends seem to think it will be 'ok' as things will 'work out' etc. My net pay is 2000k a month and I receive CB of £147 and maintenance of £575 so just over £2700 which is good. I am 53 with a £98000 mortgage, which is set to finish when I'm 70 - I pay £560 a month. My work situation is becoming very unstable and stressful and in the next year or so I hope to change jobs (if I don't I, along with others, may be forced out). I expect I will need to take a large pay cut as due to my age I can't see me being able to maintain my salary level as it has been built up over some years. I expect/hope to end up in an admin job at around £18k at least, which is the norm for pay around here. I spend a lot on commuting - £300 a month - so there will be a large saving there, but my wages will be reduced significantly (probably around £700 a month). Also I will be facing maintenance and CB ceasing in a few years and I'm starting to panic about how we will be able to afford to live. My daughter is going to apply to go to uni next year but will probably stay living here as there are two universities within travelling distance. Hopefully at some point I'll be receiving board from them both or at least one of them but I don't want to rely heavily on that - it's such an unknown entity.
We live in a 3-bed terrace, which is one of the cheapest type of properties in the area.
I'm seriously thinking I might have to sell up and try to buy a 2 bed, with the hope of shaving around £30,000 off my mortgage, and sleeping downstairs on a sofa bed. I really would prefer to stay in our home but not sure what else I can do. Am I overreacting and are there options I haven't thought of such as mortgage extension etc?
Current outgoings are £1200 a month mortgage and all bills, plus £300 fuel/car, and £400 food and I try to save the rest but it usually ends up being eaten up by something that pops up, i.e. Broken shower, car issues, school uniform etc. Thoughts/experience/advice would be much appreciated. X

Also have to replace boiler this year -£2000, and fridge freezer has broken. This will take all of my savings of just under £2k and probably more. It feels that as soon as I have any money, it's taken for something else.

Rent a room to another student?
Overpay your mortgage now
Have a complete overhaul of your finances now, utilities etc and put in a savings plan for a 3-4 month buffer
With the overhaul of bills and rejigging your budget plan to live on a net income from £18k per year - check income tax calculator- £1302

By living of this amount and saving the rest you’ll know if it’s feasible

Hi ... thanks for your response. Do you mean to try to live off equivalent of £18k now? I don't think it's possible ... but I understand what you mean ... I aim to try to save a few thousand as soon as I can, but with the bloody boiler on its way out I can't ... unless I pay for a new one on credit monthly. I've just cleared a credit card debt and don't want to borrow any more ... re renting out a room, I don't have space now... I know I don't have to panic quite yet ... but think next year will be crunch time with job so I may be forced into a poor position financially. Just wish I could feel more laid back about it but it's keeping me awake at night.

A good overhaul of your utility bills and check ever single direct debit and standing order - do you need them? Can you get them cheaper?

It’s surprising how often by changing two or three suppliers you can shave £50 a month or more off your outgoings

Thank you I will certainly be doing that although I don’t think it will be enough ...

I would take a good look at new job options now. Without knowing what you do it's hard to know, but maybe you should be more optimistic about alternative work at the same or higher salary. Not much to be lost by making active enquiries, before you are forced to make a move.

Can your daughters get part time jobs so at least they have their own spending money and can buy a few clothes. It made a big difference when my teenage DS got a little job. Do you use the cheaper supermarkets? Menu planning helps to cut food bills. Can you switch to cheaper phone / broadband contracts. I have been in your position OP and it's very hard. Good luck.

The fact that you already have a clear grasp of your outgoings and looking at future sustainability under various scenarios is a great start. Worrying about it is not going to help things so need to stop that and instead focus on things you could do. You probably won't find anything that's going to make a big difference to your finances so just a case of adding up all the little savings here and there that will make it work. Lots of good suggestions already so perhaps start with the big bills and work your way down the expense ladder and once you have gone through everything then do it all over again. It might also be a good idea to split your savings into 2, a reserve fund and a savings fund, advantage is that you won't feel disheartened by loosing your savings every time an emergency comes up.

Are there any courses you could do that would enhance your employability and maybe add to your salary in admin?

Your mortgage payments are pretty low, so I wouldn't have thought there's much to be gained from moving. Your bills are £650 a month? That seems massive, so I'd definitely look into switching suppliers for the things that you can, and perhaps looking at whether you can reduce your mobile phone allowances. £400 a month for food for 3 people isn't outrageous, but I'd expect you to be able to knock £100 of that easy, and more if you really needed to cut back.

Agree with the above poster -£650 gives plenty of room for ditching bills and swapping

Can your new boiler come with a thermostat that you can use with smart phone to reduce usage, smart meter?

Hello all, thank you so much for your replies. It’s so helpful to gain perspective.
Sandgrown: My eldest is in sixth form and pays for alll her own hobbies/clothes etc, which has been a great help and has saved me £80 a month. My youngest isn’t sixteen yet and although we’ve asked around, most employers insist on 16 or over for insurance purposes.
Very interesting comments about my bills ... in the £650 I’ve included all insurances, utilities, mobile phone (which I can’t change until sept 19), son’s music lessons (as I paid for his elder siblings at same age). I clearly need to look at the bills ... I’ve managed to get all my grocery shopping at £65 one week but it just seems to creep up sometimes as the £100 also covers extras such as essential clothing for the children, ie socks etc - I shop at Asda at the moment. My son eats so much! He has meals in between Mels and I’m forever running out of bread/milk etc. Ex pays for their mobile phones, which is a great help and is generally supportive but I don’t feel I can ask for more help.
New boiler has been quoted and does have the thermostat feature etc but I need to get the money together first as I don’t want to completely empty my savings. I’m really grateful for everyone’s responses.

With respect to gas and electricity, there's a really quick comparison tool on money saving expert, so you can get an idea at least of what you could save?

And yeah, 15 year old boy...maybe you can't reduce your food bill 😂 although I stopped shopping in Tesco and went to Lidl instead and I save £50 quid a week. Not sure the food is really hugely cheaper (although fruit definitely is and my daughter gets through so much) but it means I'm not buying all the other shit Tesco sell that I don't actually need.

I shop at all the supermarkets as I show no loyalty and luck to have Tesco 10 minutes walk and Aldi Lidl and Sainsbury and Morrison’s 5 minutes drive

So I know what I need in each and where is the cheapest

I only shop once every 7 days but when I go to Aldi I stock up on loo rol, anchovy’s frozen pizza, Greek yogurt - I buy enough for 6 weeks or so and then get the rest of my shopping, the next week I’ll shop in sainsbury ( think beginning of the month as I always spend £30 more) and stick up on decaf coffee, museli & frozen fruit, repeat in Lidl and then Tesco not so oftenbut I like there boxed tomato with garlic and oil so buy 12 when I go there.

I also freeze milk and bread to prevent - just popping to supermarket for milk and spending £20

Work out where is best for the foods you like and then stock up on each visit

Soup is also a great way of filling up a growing lad, make batches of veggie soup and freeze for starter - the soup will fill him up and be good for him, means he can have a smaller portion for main course

Sympathies OP, it sounds really hard. With regard to your employment situation, (and apologies as this isn't what you asked about per se) you don't give full details which is understandable but if you end up being 'forced out' would this not be a redundancy and carry a level of compensation? And if you think your employers want rid of you is it possible to negotiate a voluntary redundancy on favourable terms as could be in their interests as well as yours? Obviously not if your employer is determined on only paying the absolute statutory minimum but even this can add up if you've been there a number of years and sounds like every little helps in your situation? It might be worth taking the time now to do some research and take some advice to understand where you stand if it comes to it, and also trying your best to stick it out in your current job as long as possible despite the stress from a purely financial point of view, rather than quitting now and taking the big pay cut without being compensated for it?

Also you've been given good advice on reducing your outgoings, with regard to income can you explore whether there are any other opportunities to earn more, e.g. are there any jobs entailing weekend or night working which might be possible for you now your DC are older (obviously not ideal to be working shifts as you get older but can add a real premium to your income)? The NHS often has e.g. receptionist posts working evenings and weekends for instance.

You may have to be a little hard on your eldest DD and if she wants to live at home at uni, insist on her paying you a good level of board, perhaps not as much as she'd pay for halls but a good amount per month? She might need to take out a student loan and/or work part-time to do so but so do many many students so you shouldn't feel guilty about it and if the alternative is selling the house I'm sure she'll understand. Will her dad also be supporting her through uni as this could help if so?

Is there anyway that if your tough out the work situation you might end up with e.g. a redundancy payment, negotiated settlement or being moved to a new role rather than forced out?

If you haven’t already, join a union now. It will make standing your ground so much easier. And maybe even make your current situation less stressful. Then everything else will be easier to cope with.

Long-term can you plan to e.g. switch to a one bed flat in e.g ten years time when your kids are both settled elsewhere.

Medium term- your son will be 16 soon. In all seriousness, see if he can get a p/t job somewhere where they feed him as part of the deal. I was a waitress from age 14 and got a cracking meal every shift which helped so much. When I was a student, I worked in a pizza place. Not on;y did we get fed every shift we also got to take unused stuff home at the end of the night sometimes.

Near-term- stop buying any clothing or toiletries that aren’t absolutely essential. So only buy new socks if all other ones are past mending or don’t fit anymore (if your DS is still growing). Only buy a new t-shirt if there are no other t-shirts in the wardrobe to be worn out or no shirts/polo shirts/jumpers that will do instead.

Brilliant ideas here - so grateful!
Regarding work, they are the kind of employer who would rather make life difficult until people leave - I've seen it done already and don't expect them to treat me any differently. My dept (of which I'm supervisor) is being slowly 'absorbed' into another, more 'senior' department. No meetings or conversations - it's just a slow takeover. When I ask I'm treated as though I'm being paranoid.. I find my job very stressful and don't enjoy the grief that comes with the role. I want to go back to a role where I can just get on with the job without the extra hassle, but that unfortunately comes with lower pay. I guess that given my age and the rubbish time I'm having at work, my self esteem has taken a dive so I feel very panicky about everything, even going to a new job.
I thought maybe I could stick it out until such time there is a chance of redundancy, but I'm getting older and feel if I leave it too long I'll become unemployable (is it easy at 53 to get a job???!). I've been there too long and feel rusty.
My plan is to either downsize in a couple of years when maintenance stops, or try to stay here and hope to get board from children then downsize when they leave home. I didn't realise my daughter could apply for a loan for living costs if she remains at home - that would help!
Fantastic tips re shopping thank you so much. This is where I'm going to start. And weekend job I've thought about so I'll keep a look out. All really good ideas xxx

Re clothes I buy mostly from eBay, plus I try to sell stuff there as well, which occasionally helps.
I will try again re my son - he's desperate to earn his own money and it would definitely be a bonus if there is food involved. He makes himself a round of sandwiches an hour after a roast dinner - I've never seen anyone eat so muc! But he is a very tall 6' 4" and still seems to be growing !