34 on 42k a year and feel poor

[User6404]

I'm supposed to be in a 'good' job, work all hours and lots of pressure. Im told this is a good salary but I never seem to have any money after paying mortgage and bills!

Is anyone else in this position and wonder why it is worth working so hard for little return? Am I deluded? I dont talk about money with friends.

Some people get into debt because they are struggling on a low income or with difficult/ unexpected circumstances, some get into debt because they have mental problems... others get into debt because they have no budgeting skills and a terrible sense of entitlement.

You are in the latter category. Based on the attitude you've demonstrated on this thread, I'm not at all surprised you're in debt.

Follow the advice, do some proper budgeting, clear your debt and then start saving. You will probably start feeling "better off" then.

But don't compare yourself to your rich colleagues/friends and don't try to keep up if you can't afford it. It's not worth it.

mental health problems

It does help to start seeing things you take for granted as luxuries you are choosing. I'm not talking luxuries vs someone who is struggling but simply luxuries vs a "normal" baseline.

For example - you mentioned heating and food. Heating is not IMO a luxury, it's necessary for health and to keep most houses from becoming damp/pipes freezing, but if you choose to keep your house at say 25 degrees or higher, then that is a luxury choice you are making.

Food isn't a luxury, and I don't think you need to be meal planning down to the penny unless forced to, but if you're making choices like - buying (esp. higher end) convenience foods, regularly including alcohol in your weekly shop, mainly choosing brands, having a lot of "extras" like snacks or foodie ingredients, following a special diet for lifestyle not necessary reasons - these are luxuries you are choosing to spend more on.

Most people drive a car, but you have a choice whether you spend £12k or £20k or £40k+ - even on finance these are going to affect your budget over time.

If you have a mortgage you've been able to put forward a deposit which is a huge sticking point for many people my age (30) and younger so you've done well there, I do think that's a luxury/lifestyle thing these days.

But yes £700 is quite a lot to have for socialising, entertainment, food, clothing, emergencies! It's most likely the emergencies and food which is getting you, though, so it would be a good idea to separate these out from that "general pot". For example, put £1-200 into a savings account every month to cover emergencies, rather than letting it sneak into general spending if you don't have one one month, track/check your food shopping and the rest for social, entertainment, clothing, etc. Get onto a debt plan to minimise that and you'll soon clear £7k which will free up more spare money, and check those fixed bills to see if there's anything you're overpaying for or don't really need.

Threads like this make me want to tear my hair out.

There will always be things that you can’t afford. That does not make you poor.

Poor is renting the cheapest place you can find and it taking two thirds of your income. Choosing between food and heat. Going without again and again. Crying when the kids go to bed, crying over the bills coming in, Christmas and birthdays. The lack of money seeping into every pore of your life like a foul smell.

It means not having a choice.

You can choose, and clearly you choose to spend money on things that do not make you happy.

You need to change your attitude.

Whichever way you slice it, you’ve got over £150 PER WEEK to spend on food & socialising.

You don’t FEEL well off. But you ARE NOT poor.

You need to adjust your expectations, that’s all.

What would it take to feel “well off”? Genuine question, OP?

Can £1 make you rich? Most people would say no. It’s too small an amount to make a difference. But if you add up £1 after £1 after £1 eventually you get to the millionaire who has £1 more...

It’s totally up to you what you spend your £42K on per year. At some point you may look back on this period of your life as well off. Choose wisely what makes you happy to spend your money on.

I think it's worth adding as well that some 'luxuries' have become so everyday to some extent that we forget they are luxuries. Spending £50 on a meal out is definitely one of them, as are meeting a friend for drinks, going to the cinema, take-away coffees, etc. If these things become your 'norm' then you forget how many luxuries you are really having.

You said you're around lots of rich people. That's what'll be doing some of this. Comparison is the thief of joy. And there's been quite a bit of research done on this: basically, once basic needs are taken care of like yours are, people tend to be happier earning less money but with more than those around them than they are when they have more money but those around them are even richer.

Get a grip OP. Dh earns 50k. I’m a sahm mum. We have 2 kids and a dog and that 50k does us all fine. We have holidays, can afford things like new tyres for the car unexpectedly, Christmas presents, pet insurance etc etc. We eat out sometimes, couldn’t afford to it all the time but don’t really see that as a hard ship. A lot of our friends are better off. Quite a few are worse off. I don’t really think about it tbh. If they asked us to X which wr couldn’t afford I’d just say that and I’d always try and be accommodating to others too.

When ds was first born we were on a MUCH smaller wage and had £70 for the three of us a week. That had to pay for food and any ‘socialising’. Still didn’t think we were poor but life was a little more stressful with unexpected outgoings.

All YOU need to do is change your mindsetS

I understand OP. If you feel poor then that's the way you feel and it's entirely valid. I realise some people who manage on a lot less than £42k are incredulous but the extent to which you feel poor or comfortable is relative to your specific situation and your peers as PP have pointed.

£42k is considered a low salary where I live.
We have a six figure household income and I do not consider us well off. We are not struggling at all but I'm not living the life I would like to and we have high childcare costs so my perception of my current situation is that I am badly off. Fully appreciate that will sound ridiculous to some.

What people also forget is that when you are single with no kids it is a very lonely existence if you never go out. It happens but it’s not the same as not going out when you have a DH and DCs.

‘What people also forget is that when you are single with no kids it is a very lonely existence if you never go out. It happens but it’s not the same as not going out when you have a DH and DCs.’

I don’t agree with this because it can be a very lonely existence as a SAHM for example who can’t afford to go out childfree. I wouldn’t say it’s lonier one way or the other.

I live in an expensive area (zone 2 London) and 42 is a great salary. I earn 35, and I think that's decent. I would have been one of the wealthiest parents at my DC primary school. I only know one friend in London who earns more than me - a teacher. She tends to feel "poor" as well, but, as people have said, I think it's because she has brothers and sisters who are very wealthy in comparison to her.

When we lived in zone 2 daisypond we felt comfortable. We are in the top 1% and most of those around us were in the top 0.1%. It's all relative.

This thread is pointless without knowing what your outgoings are.

Someone might spend over £300 a month on commuting, someone else zero. Someone might spend £300+ on various insurances, others nothing. Those living in a brand new house might spend next to nothing on maintenance, someone living in an old house might spend a few hundreds.

No one can judge without knowing all spendings.

I've just done one of those wealth calc things and DH and I combined come up as being in the richest 2.6% globally.

Out combined salaries are not even that 'great' compared to a lot I see posted on here 'DH and I only get £100k each and we can't afford the mansion we want' etc. I earn 15k part-time and DH over 3x me.

I sometimes feel like you, OP, and do you know why? I can't budget for shit. DH is as bad. Every time I start to feel this way I give myself a good shake because I'm lucky and I know it. I've been at the bottom and this is it it.

Get a grip.

My take home is £2250 on £40.5k. I have the cost of a company car and a pension (total approx £500 pm deducted from my salary).

Listen to taxman says £2660 pm with no deductions other than tax and NI. This comes down to £2360 to £2410 for £42k after student loans and a 5% pension contribution depending on which type of student loan. So the OP could be getting £2300 if her pension is slightly more than 5% or she has a company car or other deductions.

Obviously not mentioning circumstances doesn't help. £42k being the only income for a family isn't loads but assuming she is single, it really is very comfortable, so obviously a budgeting/realistic expectations issue, of job worries - working late/long hours all the time is miserable.

OP are you doing more than 40 hours a week? Do you have one of those jobs that expects you to give them your every waking hour? Can that change?

I totally agree.
Im on 42k and I cant afford a decent house. Im just tempted to quit and claim benefits and go on a housing list. Im working hard for nothing.

170k for a terraced house in a tiny street in a rough area. is that my life? Why BOTHER having a well paid job to live in house/area I hate?

and before you go on about budgeting blah blah. Im talking house value. Bottom line workings out already done and my well paid job gets me a rubbish house. No wonder people are just snapping these days. System is rigged for foreign investors to add properties to their portfolios. Nothing affordable for local people.

and also no, i don't want a long term partner to share mortgage costs with. Is that ok? That i want a decent property on my own?

WTH!

Get your shit together.

A house is a long game though.
Its hard to get a council house around here, its all housing association after long waits and they dont have quite the same security of tenancy, or private landlords and they have little security. Maybe other areas its quicker.

Hopefully one day you will be able to trade your 2 bed terrace in an area you dont like for one in an area you do like as you arent tied to a commute and one day you will be mortgage free.

Zombie thread.

Ahh I didnt think of that! Your right! I will just get a crappy little 1 bed flat in a half decent area! Thank you!! So insightful😆

I'm a care leaver and im a bit obsessive about being mortgage free having had a whole range of insecure housing from 16 (with no lovely council house in a nice area on offer). I'm sorry if you felt it wasnt insightful but i think you should be proud of yourself and what you have achieved and I hope you do feel the benefits of your achievements over time.

Make a little sense please? 🙂

I have re-considered and you are right. You should leave work and go on the housing list as it is pointless to own you own home that you dont like.

We live on pretty much this as a family, pay nursery fees and don’t feel particularly poor. We certainly don’t want for anything.