Gifts when siblings have kids

[rededucator]

My OH is from a large family. When first together we bought gifts for his siblings and their partners. Now many years on his siblings now have two or three lovely children each. We have no children and neither does my sibling. Presents for everyone is becoming expensive. Is there a general rule that when you start buying for nieces and nephews you stop buying for the parents? Thanks in advance.

Not as far as I know but there should be! I keep wanting to suggest something like this but don't want to seem mean.
It's friends too, so many kids and why do we buy the adults a gift too? I'd be very happy to stop receiving a gift from them, I don't need more crap but DH says we can't do just kids gifts because one couple don't have kids so it would be unfair.

We have this rule in our family 😊 works really well.

Just to add, the couple without kids aren't struggling to have them or anything, they aren't ready yet and I could still buy them a present by all means!

We dont buy for the adults in our family -brothers, sisters etc. It does all get very expensive and pointless. Maybe a small something for the whole family, a box of chocs or a family board game.

Posted too soon. My brother has 4 kids and even before we had our DS they didn't buy for us and we just bought for the kids. We didn't mind not getting a present and now we have a DS he gets a present. My other brother also has 4 kids and we have same rule. Honestly so much easier. We are the only onea out of our friends who have children but fortunately we do secret santa! Much easier

I don't buy for adults if they have kids. I buy for adults without kids as they would get nothing while buying for our kids

We just buy for the kids, my brother and sil have 4 kids now and it gets silly expensive buying for adults as well!

The only thing is you might not get any gifts from them at all as you've not got kids!

We buy for kids or childless adult siblings. Still buy for our own parents too.

I need to make this happen! Don't know how though, people might already have bought stuff this year and if I bring it up in the new year they might think I didn't like their gifts. --I'm really overthinking this.

You do it first OP, announce a new system to your family and friends and let us know how it goes..!

We were among the first to have kids and suggested that we and the other set of new parents stop buying for each other and the other siblings don't buy for us if they buy for out kids. The other new parents were on board with reducing present giving. The child free siblings enjoy buying a kid present, plus they can get a big wow for a cheap price. The child free siblings were teens and young adults when this started.it is a great system, as you have a kid you get promoted to parent and are off the present list. But if you are the in law and an adult who still gets a present you need to be tactful about suggesting it. Some families like getting presents!

GreenDinosaur - it's a deal. I think I'll hand over all the kids gifts and if they give us something (they did last year) I'll say "You really shouldn't have, only for the kids next year ok?" That way I've handed over 3 gift, they've handed over 2 and the message has been served. Anyone think that's a disastrous idea?

That sounds perfect red

Sounds like a great plan OP! 👍🏻

Personally, I'd be relieved to stop getting all the presents too, I have tons of bath stuff and bracelets that I've never used. Not to mention the bloody novelty Ladybird books, How it works: The Mum, The Husband, The Cat... I've loads of them and they'll just end up in the charity shop, such a waste of everyone's time and money.

Hmmm, maybe I could use the environmental impact angle...?

We do this in our family. We don't even do birthday presents for siblings anymore, none of us are bothered by it!

If you’re going to say that red you may as well say it now! I think I’d be a bit peeved if my family said that on the day. But then I do buy them a present from me and a present from the kids too.

Maybe I'll slip it in during Christmas dinner prep. If we do bring a dish then mention it then.

By that I mean in the month before when we are arranging who will bring which dish.

Just go ahead and make the announcement. If people don’t agree what are they going to do. It’s a great idea and I’ve said on multiple threads about lots of people I know who want to cut right back but no one wants to be the one to suggest it.

Thanks Bimbobaggins - it seems a common desire but we don't want to be the ones to put our head above the parapet

Personally I think the kids get so much stuff anyway you'd be better off just buying for the adults and sod the kids!

It definitely is red .
There really is a lot of angst over it and lots of unnecessary gift giving for the sake of it. The more people who say to me let’s not buy gifts the better.

My brother decided he wanted to stop present buying and then had a niece. We buy for her but myself and DP get nothing in return. I know it's not about that, but does seem slightly unfair that just because we don't have kids we don't get anything.

I don't have any children myself but I do have 7 niece and nephews between my 2 siblings so a few years ago I just said at Christmas I am just buying for the children. I did say I dont expect them to get me anything not that my sister listens and gets me a gift and then I feel bad!!