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Original poster

Can I ask to see my alcoholic brothers medical records?

21 replies

bignbouncy · 14/06/2007 13:15

Is there any way of being able to see my alcoholic brothers medical records, as I cannot trust a word that comes out of his mouth. He tells me he's had certain treatments and help from different councillors but I am now so mistrusing in everything he says I need to see what steps to take next.

OP posts:
NAB3 · 14/06/2007 13:18

You can ask but you would have to have a very good reason for being able to see them I would have thought.

belgo · 14/06/2007 13:19

If he doesn't agree, then I'd have thought it was impossible.

Original poster
bignbouncy · 14/06/2007 13:21

I just want to be able to help him, its no good me thinking he's getting help when he's really going drinking in the park. As I said I don't trust him he lies about his drinking and I suspect he lies about his treatment.

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Original poster
bignbouncy · 14/06/2007 13:22

Patient confidentiality and all that, that's what I thought just wondered if there were ways around it.

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LucyJones · 14/06/2007 13:23

I wouldn't have thought so.
Does he say he goes to any support groups?
You could go to them and see if he turns up.
If he doesn't it might be useful to go anyway and discuss how you feel?

foxinsocks · 14/06/2007 13:23

no, I doubt you can.

It will be hard to help him if he doesn't want to be helped iyswim.

foxinsocks · 14/06/2007 13:23

have you contacted Al-Anon? It's support for families of alcoholics.

foxinsocks · 14/06/2007 13:24

al anon

Original poster
bignbouncy · 14/06/2007 13:28

He goes to a drug and alcohol centre and I know for sure that he has attended at least some of his session their.
I can't quite face Al-Anon not really my kind of thing.
He has been sober for 3 mths and was looking so well started drinking on Thursday and hasn't stopped it's heartbreaking as he is a lovely guy when not drinking.

OP posts:
Original poster
bignbouncy · 14/06/2007 13:30

Oh have just looked at AL-Anon looks like a very good idea will give them a ring.
Thanks fox

OP posts:
Iklboo · 14/06/2007 13:30

Has anything specific triggered the lapse?

Original poster
bignbouncy · 14/06/2007 13:34

Don't know he won't even admit that he's drinking again, just a hundred excuses why he's staggering and slurred. Its because I'm a diabetic my blood sugar is low he is very ill

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Original poster
bignbouncy · 14/06/2007 13:37

There is a meeting just round the corner from me Tomorrow of Al-Anon. Can I just turn up of do I have to contact them first?

OP posts:
Surfermum · 14/06/2007 13:38

Unless he's given them permission to speak to you they wouldn't be able to give you any information about his care, or even whether he has attended or not.

What you could do is ring the centre he attends and ask if they offer any support services for family, or if they can direct you to one locally.

Iklboo · 14/06/2007 13:39

Know where you're coming from:

"It's a cold", "It's a stomach bug", "I'm tired"

Uh-huh - and I've had LOTS of colds that make you stink of booze.

Honestly, you can't make them stop drinking. They don't think they have a problem or see the damage they're causing & the hurt. And they will lie and lie and lie so much they'll believe it themselves.

Al-Anon might help you get your head around the whys & wherefores. It didn't help me, but that's just ME. Having ANYONE to talk to is a huge help. DH has helped me put everything into perspective and is always there to listed when I have to rant

Original poster
bignbouncy · 14/06/2007 13:46

Looking at the Al-Anon website, I think the thing I would most likely get out of it is, how best I can help him. I have already read up on alcoholism, but although he has been a heavy drinker always We didn't know until about a year ago that he was an alcoholic.

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Original poster
bignbouncy · 14/06/2007 13:47

My main problem with him is that he lives with my 75yr old mother and it is also affecting her life.

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bagsundereyes · 15/06/2007 09:31

I'm afraid you've no chance of seeing his records - despite supposed openess in health/social care, even your brother himself would find this tricky (lots of hoops to jump through). Strictly speaking, you have no right to ask for any information.

However, lots of health professionals and counsellors have a pragmatic approach to working with carers, and will share information where possible, unless your brother has explicitly forbidden this. They don't have any obligation to do so, so it will depend on the individual with whom you speak. Having worked in a similar field I always want to keep carers involved as much as I can within reasonable bounds of confidentiality.

Eleusis · 15/06/2007 10:03

It sounds to me as thought you are trying to fix your brother for him. Sadly, it is impossible for you to achieve this task. What Alanon canhelp you do is take care of yourself. Only your alcoholic brother can decide to get help. You can not do it for him.

But, go to alanon (just turn up, no need to pre-book anything), take what you like from the meeting and leave the rest. It won't fix you in a day, but it cetainly won't do you any harm.

Eleusis · 15/06/2007 10:07

The first of the 12 steps.

  1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol- that our lives had become unmanageable.
Original poster
bignbouncy · 17/06/2007 17:18

Thanks for your replys I chickened out of going to Alanon on Friday but I have the day off this week, so will be easier to have tea out of the way kids in bed. My brothers drinking wouldn't bother me so much if it wasn't for the effect it has on my aging mother.

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