Working with partner who owns business.

[Kingk1]

My partner and I are due to get married next year. When I met him his business was struggling financially. Can't go in to to much details but his book keeper was sacked and criminal charges are ongoing at present. I am now doing accounts and after a lot of hard work were finally getting on top of things. I had to finish work a couple of hours early for a dentist appointment and he actually deducted my wages. I am fuming and so upset!!! There has been so many evenings at home when I hve listen to him stressing about the business giving him support and advice cos that's what couples do, drawing up notes for meetings etc and going above and beyond my role that I'm shocked and insulted that he wld take 3 hours from my pay. He's always said it's our business (even though I know it's not) this is our future "we're building" bollix to that. When he's off sick he doesn't deduct his pay!! I hve had a big argument with him and he said I have to "treat all my staff the same" I'm practically his fucking wife". I feel now cos I've got him out of financial ruin and he's starting to make money he thinks he's the big man!! Am I over reacting or his he been a tight fecker!!

So I am in the same position as you. I work for my partner who owns the business. My partner would dare deduct my wages for ‘time off’ Having said that I work way more hours than I’m paid for.

If your working the set amount of hours and he pays for overtime etc and it’s company policy that wages are adjusted for time off etc then I would be annoyed but could understand it.

I think like you I would be more annoyed that he sees you as an employee rather that his partner in life.

If like me you end up taking work home with you and talking about work at home then I would think he’s been a bit short sighted and a tight fecker!!

Is he mean generally? Do you think this is about fairness and transparency or control and tightness? Have you had any conversations about money when you are married, if you have children, if someone's circumstances change?

You are not over reacting he is tight.

I would start billing him for the additional hours.

Thank you, I'm so upset and offended that he sees me as just an "employee " when I hve gone above and beyond and his company probably would hve collapsed by now if it wasn't for me (don't mean to come across as big headed). I've brought in so many good changes and the staff have noted this which is good but I've had many sleepless nights and working late evenings and not getting paid and to be deducted 3 miserably hours is insulting. I'm glad I'm not over reacting or coming across as been mean. Thank u

Dont put up with it, He is out of order.

OP working with a love partner is a really difficult one. It has its benefits (eg being able to take time of for a dentist appt without having pay docked!). I say this as someone who spent five years working with my husband. Like you I was his bookkeeper/ office manager. My boss/ hubby didn't dock pay - he was generous with time off and with pay but he would do CF things like call me on my day off to order items for a customer or the last straw was when I had to cram an 80 hour task into a month (on top of my regular job and home life). Keep notes on any unfairness like that and address it with him in a meeting. I know that sounds terribly business-like but you have to try and keep the emotions out of work-life (esp infront of staff). And yes he is a CF for doing that to you!!

He's a pretty shitty boss if he's docking staff pay for medical appointments in general too.

To be fair to him, there are an awful lot of misconceptions about business and employment. Like the common myth about always having to advertise vacancies. Accountants, solicitors and HMRC don't help as they often over-emphasise the rules and you also have all kinds of health & safety and employment "specialists" sending mailshots etc with examples of worst case scenarios just designed to frighten them into signing up for their services. He may genuinely have thought he'd be in trouble with other employees if he deducted their time but didn't deduct yours - in reality, in business/employment/law terms you ARE just another employee at the moment. Of course, he's been a total pillock not talking to you about it beforehand and explaining whatever his reasons are.