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Partner lying about finances

6 replies

Kels87 · 13/09/2018 00:05

Ok so 2 years ago my partner got a new phone and number and I got woken one night to a Skype call from a foreign girl. He said he had no idea who it was a denied having a Skype account. Few months later a £5000 phone bill from Vodafone arrived with roaming charges from Romania. He assures me his sim got cloned. I accused him of mailing old phone etc to Romania. Stupidly I believed all this all while being heavily pregnant with our 2nd child. He had hidden the huge bill for months from me and only admitted to it when I opened one of his letters. From then on I've had major trust issues and he assures me he will tell me everything about finances etc. Fast forward to present. He pays the council tax bill he assured me direct debits set up. Last week the council's debt collectors hand delivered our court summary warrant for non payment. Every month i ask him and he tells me everything's fine. I wrote this post for people's thoughts of what I should do. But not it's written is clear to me I can't trust him anymore at all and there's no point if there's no trust. 13 years together down the pan cause of his stupid lies. Our eldest is 8 and autistic this really isn't fair on him or me and our youngest child. Im so angry at the devastation this is going to have on out eldest and I can't bear how our eldest is going to take the devastating effect it's going to have on him Angry

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miketv · 13/09/2018 00:20

It sounds like to need to separate your finances asap. It's potentially your credit rating that's going to suffer here, not just his.

And yes, if you can't trust him to tell you the truth, the relationship is in big trouble.

Singlenotsingle · 13/09/2018 00:25

You need to take complete control of the finances. He pays his wages/salary straight into your bank account and he closes down any bank account that he's got. The alternative, as you can't believe a word he says, is to get rid!

Kels87 · 13/09/2018 07:51

Thank for the replys. Im always questioning everything he says. Im not sure if it's paranoia thing or not. As for the finances he pays certain bills and I pay others so my credit rating is unaffected. Im just not ready for the whole splitting up part nd devastating our 8 year old

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miketv · 13/09/2018 08:03

If you live as a couple at the same address you can be financially tied and if both your names are on the council tax bill, then you are jointly liable for that debt.

Xenia · 13/09/2018 09:28

If you live together why are you not on the council tax bill and paying it? It sounds a very difficult situation. I would make sure you know everything and see every bill and his pay sliips and P60s and keep copies of everything on paper files too as back up.

Kels87 · 13/09/2018 19:39

I had to give up my job last year to let him follow his dream as a hgv driver as I can't have my eldest at child minders or after school clubs etc cause of his high functioning autism, hence why I wasn't personally paying the council tax bill but I always asked if everything was played etc. Silly me for believing him.

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