Do I have to go for Ancillary Relief to get any more than 50/50 split?

[flowertot]

My husband and I were married for 5 years. We bought the house 50:50 for cash. He has taken out £280,000 to put into his business. Obviously I had to sign for that too. His business never got anywhere and I don't know how that money was spent. The house is now worth £380,000. Legally we have to split the equity half each, even though he was the one that spent the remortgage money - so I have already lost a lot of my initial cash.
In divorce I am told I may be awarded more than 50% as I have the children (neither of us live in house anymore by the way)
However, I have just had the rough costs back from the solicitor and Ancillary relief can run into tens of thousands. I know my husband will not play ball and will fight every step of the way so making it more expensive. The costs could be more than any extra money I get. Even the 50k is going to be quite eaten up in various costs along the way.
Is there any way of fighting for more of the equity without this added expense? Or should I just take my 50% and run. I also wonder if it would be better if I moved back into the house and refused to sell it?
I am furious that my husband has spent that vast amount of money but can still have some of what is left- especially as he is taking it away from his own children effectively. Neither of us has an income at the moment and he has big debts in his name I believe, but he will not be open so no one really knows.

bumping this for you - I think your hunch is right that your best case for getting more than 50% on basis you need somewhere for you and your children to live. you really need xenia or someone to help as I think she negotiated a settlement with her ex when she considered the likely costs that would be involved if they fought it as she is probably best placed to advise on how to negotiate this.

thanks poppy will go look for xenia!

Hi flowertot, I'm a divorce lawyer and relatively expensive, on an hourly rate basis and the worst case I ever handled only cost £10k.

A straightforward one will cost about £2k, and a slightly fiddly one, with settlement reached at a first appointment at court averages £5k. (all plus VAT)

Tens of thousands are only spent in the most horrendous of cases. What is your lawyer charging you per hour?

A very cheap way of resolving disputes is by using mediation.

(See Below) Sounds like they are similar to your costs then. Maybe I should be looking for a cheaper lawyer? But I guess you get what you pay for perhaps.
Do most people do the financial application (I mean that big Form E) or is it easy wnough to settle without it?

"In relation to the financial aspects of the case, the absolute basic cost is in the region of £800 + VAT. That assumes that the parties agree the terms of settlement without a detailed financial disclosure and indeed without the issue of the financial Application (which we have already done). Costs really depend entirely on whether, and if so, at what stage agreement is reached. Once the formal Application has been made to the Court, ultimate costs will depend upon how many Hearings are required to bring the case to a conclusion. If the case settles at the first appointment (August) your costs are likely to be in the region of £2,500 - £4,000 + VAT. If the case then progresses to the second Hearing, your total costs could be between £4,500 - £8,000 + VAT and if the case proceeds to Trial, your costs could easily be between £10,000 - £20,000 + VAT"

I was a divorce lawyer and mediator and I'm probably a bit out of touch (SAHM for the last year and a bit) but those costs look fairly standard to me. I would be a bit worried about the "without detailed financial disclosure" particularly since your husband has had £280K out of the house! Even in mediation you would go through the financial disclosure process - they would ask you both to fill in a form similar to Form E. The mediator would produce a summary of your financial disclosure for the solicitors before they draw up the agreement - this is cheaper than having your solicitors prepare it all from scratch! Filling in the form is a PITA but is a very important part of the process IMO.

Good luck

I had dinner with someone whose wife's costs which he paid were £200k and she'd used my lawyer but they'd spent 6 years virtually getting to court and Mr Miller in one case spent £1m.

You have the right idea. ALWAYS look if the costs will be more than the extra money. This country is littered with idiots who choose to pay money to lawyers rather than compromise with a spouse.

You could act for yourself. You could always try moving back. If your salary is low and children young your husband might have to pay you spousal maintenance payments to help with the mortgage and you may not have to sell the house until you cohabit or the youngest child is 18 and only then he gest his share but could you afford the mortgage on your own earnings? Also if like me you earn more than your spouse he might get more than 50% as mine did no matter who has the children.

There's no need for financial disclosure if you both know what money the other has as we did - complete openness and knowledge of all our joint finances. Is his business a valuable asset? Probably not but may be worth looking at that although it sounds as if it's doing very badly - so might be a liability!

Xenia -all very sensible. The only thing I would say is that there are some rare occasions where no compromise is possible. Some people can remain angry/hurt for quite a long time after the divorce and the idea of settling rather than prolonging the agony of court cases is not on the agenda.

However it does sound like you have got a starting point with your ex to take the better route that xenia suggests.

Why don't either of you live in teh house? Is it rented out? If it is empty I'd move right back in as it will save on rental. And refuse to move or sell! I think it v unlikely indeed that there would be a 50/50 split if you have the kids. More likely you'd get the house.

Often if the woman's moved out it's because she's moved in with her lover and her housing needs are therefore met and her abandoned husband needs a place particularly if he has the children 50% of the time.