Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Money matters

Find financial and money-saving discussions including debt and pension chat on our Money forum. If you're looking for ways to make your money to go further, sign up to our Moneysaver emails here.

Original poster

Husband drip feeding into joint account.

69 replies

Dabell · 11/09/2018 16:55

My husband and I are going round in circles arguing every day about money. We have a joint current account and he has a business account (I am named as a director in his business). I don’t work atm but we have been married for 30 years and I have brought up our children, supporting him and running the household when his work took him abroad frequently. In that time I have worked for probably 15 years.
Just lately he has started drip feeding our current account from his business account thereby not allowing me full access to the money he earns. I recently cashed in a pension fund and was unaware that the money had gone into our joint account. By the time I realised, my husband had transferred it into his business account. I keep asking him for access to it and he refuses saying that he works, not me and that I spend the money he earns somin effect the pension money is his.
I would really appreciate anyone’s advice as we are arguing all the time about this and when I say I am thinking of asking a solicitor for advice, he laughs at me, saying a solicitor will just tell me to get a job.
Thank you for reading

OP posts:
Original poster
Dabell · 12/09/2018 17:01

Whoa!!! Apart from a couple of contributors (you know who you are as I’ve pm you) I truly wasn’t expecting such a torrent of abuse and vitriol ( naive of me?yes. I don’t often ask advice on forums) I was purely asking for advice on how to broach the subject yet again without arguing.
Some of your comments border on libellous. No he’s not as ‘shady as fuck’ no I don’t ‘smell a rat’ no he’s not ‘planning on leaving’ whaaat?

What is this? Let’s all get together and get yet another couple to divorce?? Whatever happened to giving empathetic unbiased advice? It would be laughable if i wasn’t so shocked.
No doubt the trolls will be commenting on this too.

OP posts:
Mammysin · 12/09/2018 17:12

Sorry to read the above. Your husband has stolen from you and won't return the money despite you asking repeatedly.
What do you think you could do given the multiple opinions and advice given here? Not having a go- just asking.

MrsRyanGosling15 · 12/09/2018 17:16

So you don't think it's shady that your 'd'h has stolen your pension and put it him his business account and won't give it to you? You don't see that as at the least shady and the worst out and out theft?

Quartz2208 · 12/09/2018 17:18

OP what abuse and vitriol? A lot have raised the valid point that it you should really look into the business as it could be the business is in trouble.

Given the fact he has only just started doing it and todays economic climate

HollowTalk · 12/09/2018 17:18

Blimey, OP, you're the one with a husband who's stolen your pension fund and you are yelling at US?

Bluntness100 · 12/09/2018 17:18

This is very odd. Were you just starting a thread to give you the opportunity to attack people.Confused

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 12/09/2018 17:19

Mate. He's taken your pension lump sum and won't give it back to you. On what planet is that not 'shady'? I appreciate this is hard to hear, but it's financial abuse.

Or to put the same thing another way: what would you do if your financial advisor or accountant did the same thing? Would you keep asking for the money back? Or would you think 'shady fucker' and go to the police?

Bluntness100 · 12/09/2018 17:22

There isn't a "torrent of abuse and vitriol".

Totally odd. Confused

RabbitsAreTasty · 12/09/2018 17:26

You want him to give you back the money he took from you. He is refusing. You threatened solicitor. He laughed at you and refused to give your money back. You want us to advise you on how to make him give the money back without him being grumpy.

I don't think that is possible. He has deliberately decided to rip you off. Sweetly sweetly no grumps isn't really an option is it?

Anyway, you told him what you were going to do, you are going to go to a solicitor. So do it.

I suspect you are not taking your legal responsibilities as a director seriously. You need to read up. First check the documents filed at Companies House for the business. Then you may need to contact the business's accountant for more information (it isn't your husband's accountant, it will be the business's accountant btw).

Google your rights and responsibilities as a director / shareholder. Depending on what you discover you may need to threaten him with HMRC and/or police to get your money back.

Grumpyoldblonde · 12/09/2018 17:27

Odd reaction from you OP.
No vitriol at all but advise about your thieving husband. Your bed, you make it.

tribpot · 12/09/2018 17:33

Perhaps it isn't as obvious to you as it is to some of us who also run our own businesses, but throwing a whole load of cash into a business account without any paper trail to explain how it's come into the business is indeed shady as fuck. If you have loaned the money to the business, there needs to be evidence to support this. The money is indeed going to get taxed there as profit, assuming he isn't using the money to cover losses you don't know about.

As a director of the company, you are responsible for understanding its finance. You should also be receiving dividends from it - that's your money.

Please do consult a solicitor.

Bluntness100 · 12/09/2018 18:08

The business account might not be quite a business account though. He could be a consultant or something, so the money in there could be used as his own ie he could also use it as his personal account.

I don't get why the op is kicking off on here though. Her husband has taken her money and won't let her have access to it.

I really don't get the whole abuse, vitriol, libellous thing. It's like she's reading a different thread.

Descent · 12/09/2018 18:10

I'm another who fails to see any abuse here. Just what is your agenda here OP?

Mrskeats · 12/09/2018 18:13

He’s stolen from you and I’m guessing a significant amount.
What response were you expecting?

CarolDanvers · 12/09/2018 18:13

Your husband has stolen your money and won't give it back, he ridicules you when you request it. You have no financial security.

But you're attacking posters who point this out?

Bloody hell lady! Good luck, you're going to need it.

Mrskeats · 12/09/2018 18:14

Taking a bunch of money is not a problem
In your house descent?

LuckyDiamond · 12/09/2018 18:14

Is your second post by your bloke?

30303030old · 12/09/2018 18:16
Biscuit
mamaslatts · 12/09/2018 18:19

Are you sure all this money is going into the business account? He may be squirrelling it elsewhere. People are trying to help you know.

KeithLeMonde · 12/09/2018 18:20

Lucky I wondered if the second post was the H. Different tone and writing style too?

topcat2014 · 12/09/2018 18:22

Sounds like the business is going down the pan.

Directors can introduce funds into companies, to support the company - doesn't have to mean there are sales invoices etc.

However, if a lump sum went in, and smaller amounts are 'dripping' out that would be a huge red flag.

Dobbythesockelf · 12/09/2018 18:25

So your husband has moved your pension to an account you can access and refuses to give you it back and the posters giving you sensible advice are in the wrong? I'm very confused by your response

Whatsnewwithyou · 12/09/2018 18:30

Something very strange is going on here. I hope you're ok, OP.

MistressDeeCee · 12/09/2018 18:41

He's stolen your pension funds.

You need to consult a solicitor immediately. Stop arguing, and make your move quietly before this man messes you up financially and goes off somewhere.

From what you've said this man does not respect you. & he's going to leave you. What use arguments then?

How is he explaining the extra money into his business, on his Tax Returns? Do you know? If not then why not? You're a Director of the business be equally responsible for any financial doings, as you'll find if the tax man comes down on you.

He is not to be trusted and if you stay there wasting time arguing with him you will find yourself with nothing, and him having hidden away money.

He's laughing at you, and scorning you. You've raised the children, saved on mega childcare fees impacting family income. You've done your bit. Get legal advice. & dont then come home and tell him you've done so either.

Less arguing more action.

Ellisandra · 12/09/2018 22:29

Your husband stealing your pension isn’t shady?
I suppose not.
I’m mean, we’re silly to think that. That would be like thinking that appointing yourself as a director when you’re not involved in the company was some kind of tax fiddle!
What a silly notion.
Nothing shady here Hmm