Divorce

[Popco]

Hello
I’m going through a divorce and it’s getting messy, I wonder if anyone can help. My ex and I separated 6years ago, he stayed in the house (refused to move out) and me and my 13yr old (and 20yr old at uni) are in social housing (with a 50/50 split for contact). He earns, and always has, a lot more money than me (around 25-30,000) I’ve just lost my part time TA job due to health problems and am in the middle of a UC claim. Despite this I paid for everything for the kids since our split and only began receiving £100 a month from ex from which I pay everything from clothes to school trips to out of school clubs etc. For complicated reasons it has taken this long to initiate a divorce which he is more than happy to have but he doesn’t want to give up the house or buy me out, he now won’t communicate with me at all even about our son. I can’t afford too much in solicitors/court fees (about £20,000 equity in house in total). He refuses to negotiate with me independently or go through mediation. Could he be forced to pay court costs as this is where it is heading for both s financial and now child order? What is the process for a 13yr old? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

£20,000 equity split into 2 is likely to be very little after you sell and probably except less. Then estate agent and legal fees etc. If he wants to buy again then there would be new stamp duty.

Has he paid the mortgage for the past 6 years?

I would ask if it was worth it, would a clean break with no claim on the house be better?
Or would he consider just paying you say £5000?

Thanks for your reply. The house was bought for £97,000 in 2007, we paid the mortgage together for 6 years when it became increasingly unbearable, he refused to leave so I had to rent privately at first (me and 7/8yr old son had to share a bed as he kept all furniture) then got social housing. I have no money except that tied up on the house, surely I should be entitled to an equal split, after all I’ve had to pay rent equal to his mortgage. He earns more than me and could apply for a new mortgage (but not enough to pay stamp duty) it will be unlikely that I will ever be in a position to buy due to health. He’s held all the cards throughout this and I feel completely powerless.

I assume if you divorce all assets are taken into account like property, savings, pension. You need to consult a solicitor or Citizens advice. Is your name still on the mortgage ?

You really ned to get this sorted - it also may cause problems with UC if you own half a house. They will help with your rent for a certain time if you can prove that the house is waiting to be sold but they ,may count the equity as capital and it could cause problems. You need to declare that you won half a house on the Uc application.

Yes my name is on the mortgage and I’ve been claiming some housing benefit for the past 5 years due to low income, I’d always ticked no propert owned as he lives there, I don’t benefit and technically the Bank own it. I’ve now realised that this won’t stand up in court so I do need to get it sorted and fast. Two things 1) would he be classed as a lone parent if we share 50/50 time (he doesn’t contribute anything towards his financial care) as I know that can make s difference? 2) he won’t even communicate with me about our son and is refusing mediation, how do we sort out any kid’s stuff that comes up eg school trip costs, necessary change of arrangements due to hospital visits (for me) etc?

I’m very worried and stressed for all these reasons (and more)

File for divorce and make progress. You don't need to speak to him, the solicitor should send him all the paperwork. Secondly, even if you haven't been paying for the house, if you are still 9n the mortgage you still legally own half of it !

Do you claim child maintenance through CSS ? I believe it costs £20 and they sort it all out, they take it out of his wages. You don't need to speak to him.

I started getting some money for my son from him last year (after years of asking) it’s just below what the CSA recommend but they expect as it’s 50/50 ‘care’ that he will additionally pay 50% of things for sons care needs eg clothes, school trips etc so I can’t get anything else but he still slacks off contributing so either I pay or son loses out (I can no longer afford to do this) I’m not sure if there’s any way round this?
Re the house, it appears that even though I own half the house I can’t force my ex to sell. So I feel a bit powerless and scared at the moment