Husband lied about debt

[Squigglemcfluffy]

I have just found out my husband has been hiding debt from me he's managed to rack up a whooping £10000 in the space of a year I've just had a baby 3 months ago and we have only been married a year I feel so betrayed any advice xx

So you know he's racked it up in a year. But do you know what On? Gambling, clothes then you can tackle the problem. Good luck.

It's a credit card and a loan and pay day loans so a lot of interest we have nothing to show for it so I'm wondering if he had previous years of debt? That he lied about I'm in stat maternity pay now and not sure if I can return to work ( I'm not a high earner- min wage) he says he doesn't know where the money went which makes me feel even worse, I knew he had a credit card but told me he'd paid it off I nearly put him on my mortgage-so glad I didn't!

How has he got the debt? What was he using money for?

How much of it is in payday loans? They are the most urgent to deal with.

How did you find out? Did he tell you freely?

Are you planning on leaving him? As otherwise im not sure not putting him on the mortgage when youre married makes a difference.

You might need some professional advice, I’m of the belief it’s not recommended for you to “bail him out”. He needs to come up with a plan that works for him. You taking care of his mess, will make the truth easier to smooth over and not stop him from doing this again.

If he is prepared to work on your marriage and work on repaying debts, then a starting point will be to go through the credit card statements to see what the money was used for.
It may have been on baby stuff, it may be on travel to/from work.
Not knowing what the loans were for is a bit more worrying - surely he knows why he took those out. They are high interest so would not have been taken out if lower cost credit was available.
He needs to be honest with you and whilst he may have forgotten about why he took out the loans, going through what statements do exist may jog his memory.
If there is a gambling, alcohol, drug addiction then that will be something for you to deal with - he needs to accept it as being an issue and gets help to reduce and ultimately eliminate the addiction.

You are married so it's your household debt. He hid from you and that deception is a worry but you need to understand the motive - was he trying to protect you, stop you worrying, or was it something else?

Or, he is just feckless with money and you are going to have to parent him, and be the one making all the financial decisions amd plans for your life, unable to rely on him at all.

He must know why he took the loans, and what he spent the money on. It's ten thousand pounds over a year. An absolute fortune. I've been in problem debt, and come out the other side, so it's not insurmountable, but he needs to start being open and honest. Right now he isn't.

If so was you I would make plans to get a better paid job and aim to be able to support myself and my family as you are unlikely to be able to rely on him

I've spoken to an advisor and made a budget the credit card has been cut up and I now have control of his account and we will be clear on payday loans in a week , I think he's just a moron and doesn't get the concept of interest we'll be paying back these debts for years because the interest is so high! I don't want to split up I've just got married and had a baby but I do feel like a mug. I'm so angry I can't look at him I'm going to drip feed him an allowance until the credit card is paid off... to the person that suggested I should just work on getting a higher paid job ANY ADVICE on how to do this ??? Please elaborate..... I have a 3 month old baby and now no disposable income at all so if you have the solution please share 😊😊😊 I don't think min wagers choose to be on min wage ... I ve been financially independent since I was 16 I worked two full time jobs at the same time so I could get a mortgage I've never had a credit card or even a phone contract I've never learnt to drive so if you have the solution please share( may have my back up billy Bragg quote to follow)...my husbands family find my job an embarrassment to them as well (I worked for a drycleaners) they are upper middle class and even his little sister scoffs at the idea of being paid less then £10ph so I'm just a bit of a joke... my husband is on a reasonable wage and he's the one who's been getting us into debt! Maybe we are like grasshoppers I feel like his family are partly responsible I've married a spoiled kid. I want him to suffer and go without just like everyone else has too ..... hopefully forcing this harsh budget will teach him the value of money and not end our marriage but I guess I'll find that out in due course

Lol to answer the questions there is nothing sinister on the bank statements daily overspending I think trips to Tesco the pub small purchases online computer games etc it's bizarre the loan taken out to pay credit card I reckon he was in debt before I met him I've never asked to see his accounts before it seemed too intrusive Just believed everything he said maybe should have been more careful

You are married, you are now one... it sounds like you have handled this well and have got him to realise that he needs to open with you about finances, just like with the everything in his life. He loves you, you love him, there may be some skeletons in the closet which should have come out before marriage but now they are out, you can work on it together.

Opposites attract, realise that you are different and work on the budget together, stick to agreed spending and work on paying off the debts.