Advice regarding fraud within family

[poiuy]

My partner and I are hard working people who have done all we can to bring up our kids right. We’ve had considerable challenge with eldest who got great GCSEs and then dropped out and is now 20. Recently we discovered he had opened an online shopping account in his name but used my credit card to the tune of 5K within weeks. We blocked the card and alerted the company. A new card arrived but with the online company, the card was still being used. Credit card nor company would accept any responsibility. Despite efforts to protect our new card, he managed another 10K within a month. He shows no remorse. Do we throw him out? Do we report him for fraud? Cocaine is a factor. At my wits’ end.

Yes you report him and you throw him out. He has no regard for you. Life is tough. Personally I would go to the police - he needs to learn he can’t do stuff like that. Is he willing to tackle his cousin habit?

Cocaine

I have had enough but husband says he just can’t throw him out.

What consequences has he faced for the theft of your 15k?

Are you ok with him learning that he can steal from you? What happens next time? Another telling off isn't going to do much is it.

His behaviour will likely escalate in this situation. Cancel all of your cards and get new ones, and put measures in place to ensure that he is unable to obtain any further credit in your name.

I was convicted of fraud. It is an offence with intent. Mine was also a family member and yes, I went to prison. This was 7 years ago.

Your husband is covering for him. Your son is lying and cheating his family. You don't have to throw him out. However, it needs reporting and he needs to accept the consequences of his actions.

Believe me, when I has nobody left to lie to, steAl from, did I develop a conscience and grasp that I had no right to do the things I did nor hurt my family in the way I did.

It's awful for you, but stop it now, and let him accept what's coming to him.

Since prison, I set up an organisation. Not the best thing that's happened to me, but it taught me the harsh lesson I needed.

In the Crime section, there's a thread called 'What to take to prison 2' a mother who's daughter has been in prison often. The mother is amazing in how she supports her daughter. You'll find lots of support there.

And happy to advise you on actions you should take now. Take the card and let the company know that it is being used without your permission.

Best of luck.

So sorry you are going through this. No doubt you have already contacted the online shopping merchants to tell them the transactions were unauthorised/fraudulent. What are your priorities here? Does he realise the seriousness of what he has done? If you call the police, it will lead to a criminal prosecution. Regarding the stolen 15k, you can sue him in civil court, which might teach him a lesson.

Clearly he can no longer live in your house. Tell him to pack a bag and get out. Very hard, I know, but there it is. Perhaps give him a lift to the local housing office and leave him to it. Either way, your husband and you have to present a united front and work as a team, and not give way for one second.

Absolute nightmare for you. Good luck.

Sadly, by covering for him, it won’t stop. I had a friend who did this.. didn’t see it as doing anything wrong as no one was hurt by what she was doing. She diverted credit card in her sister’s name to her and maxed it out. Then took a credit card out in the name of a neighbour, intercepted the post to get the card, then changed the address where the statements went. This went on for some while. It wasn’t until sister applied for credit and was denied that investigations started. My friend got off first time as everyone felt sorry for her and didn’t want her to go to jail. The day after court, she went out and spent thousands on a card she hadn’t told anyone about (in sister’s name). She went to jail that time.

If they’re not stopped, they will continue.

You need to report him to the police, now, while he still has a chance to get his life back in order. The longer you leave it, the worse things will get and the harder it will be for him to turn things around.

You’re not doing him (or yourself) any favours by letting him get l away with this. A sharp shock could be exactly what he needs.