Husband lost job - so scared

[Scaredforsurvival]

Husband was working full time earning more than twice what I earn working full time.Now we have to try and survive on the pittance I earn. We can't survive. I am so scared.

I don't know why I'm writing this. I've already contacted Stepchange and am starting the process but I feel like such a failure. I am so ashamed to be in this position. We are in our 40s we should be home owners and enjoying life especially now our children are grown up.

But we are not! Instead my husband is being rejected over and over and over again which I'm sure is because of his age. He will cost too much to employ. It is getting me down.

I have depression and anxiety and can feel myself spiralling down. I can't cope with this for much longer.

Sorry for going on.

I think the level of disaster also depends on finances. If they have a £5000 mortgage but she only earns £2000 and they have no savings then she is probably right to feel sick.
I found the credit crunch and money matters boards incredibly helpful when we were going through a similar thing. I also made sure we have a 6 month emergency fund which we never touch.
Hope everything works out ok for you OP.

This happened to my cousin. He was a senior person in local goverment but became ill. He needed major surgery and was made redundant. Once he recovered he updated his CV and started doing agency work.
He has been in full time agency work for the last 15 years. He could never pass a medical for a permanent job. But he has paid his mortgage and bills. Unfortunately he doesn't have a great pension, but at least he has an income.

@TornFromTheInside
If that was relating to my "easily", I was referring to the salary, rather than the ease of finding a job IYSWIM.

If they truly just got rid of existing staff with no process then that's not legal. I appreciate you may just want to move on but I'd advise you to contact Acas. He should've gone through TUPE process and if he's been there over 2yrs he'd be entitled to redundancy.

My wages were the add-on for extras, his were the bill paying wages. Now my wage has to cover the bills and it simply doesn't stretch far enough. I work 40 hours a week in retail pharmacy and it doesn't pay well. I have been taking on board all your advice and really really appreciate it.

I have updated my CV and I am applying for better paid jobs.

We don't live an expensive lifestyle. We private rent as we can't afford to save for a deposit for a house. We haven't been on holidays and don't have flash cars. We just want to earn enough to cover our bills and have a bit left over for a bit of fun.

Sorry about your situation, it does sound stressful, but you will get through it. Easier said than done but try not to panic (are you getting help for your depression and anxiety - CBT or anything like that).

Firstly it’s not clear why you contacted stepchange - do you and your husband already have debts (ie before he lost his job)? Do you have debt repayments to worry about or is it just the ongoing bills (rent and other bills)?

He is entitled to contributory JSA (or the equivalent if universal credit has already been introduced in your area) and should claim it ASAP. He will get £73.10/week for up to 6 months while he is looking for a job. Not a huge amount but every little helps.

I suggest you use a benefits calculator (eg Turn2Us or Entitledto) to see if you can get anything else while he’s looking for work, you might get some Housing Benefit for example (or the housing element of Universal Credit).

Money saving expert has some great tips about dealing with redundancy and budgeting / saving money when your income has gone down.

While he is looking for a secure well-paid job, perhaps he could offer services on freelancer sites. There are lots of IT people on People per Hour. He shouldn't be put off by the low rates by people based in India, Pakistan etc because I know for a fact that many people will pay more for an expert based in the UK.

Did he not qualify for any redundancy pay?

he is applying for everything and anything

Is he applying for too many things? It takes me a day to properly go through a job specification, research the company, update my CV to match, and eke out a covering letter if needed. If he is applying for more than 2 jobs a day he is very likely to be wasting his time.

Treat the job search as a full time job; start at say 8am and finish by 5pm, so that he can have evenings to recover.

Do you know anyone who is a hiring manager, ideally in IT? Could they review his CV?

Being in his 40s should not be a barrier in IT. Are his technical skills vaguely up to date? Are companies asking for the skills which he has, or for different technologies?

As you are renting, can you move somewhere cheaper? You can always upgrade again once you have more salary coming in.

If he was made redundant he may be able to claim in UK job seekers allowance or Universal credit at Job centre or online for X amount of weeks, contributions based. It will not be back dated, so he needs to apply asap. He can also use the job match service. Get his CV on Linked In. There are jobs out there, but he may need to apply for lots, it is a numbers game. 40 is not old, state pension age is 68+ ! If you rent, perhaps you could look at relocating once he has secured a job.

He got a job. Not the same pay and part-time but it's a job and he's happy!

That's great news. You must be very relieved.

Fantastic news scared!

Only just read your thread but have been there/done that 20 years ago. I can still feel that awful sickness in the pit of the stomach feeling. ☹️

Hopefully you are both having a fabulous weekend! It will all be onwards and upwards now. 🍾🍾🍾