Getting deposit back from dodgy male stripper

[StrippedOfDeposit]

Hi everyone,

Asking on behalf of a friend who booked a male stripper for her hen do and paid a deposit by bank transfer. He then started bombarding her with messages and got nasty when she didn’t respond immediately. He was texting her demanding that she call him in the early hours. She cancelled his visit as she didn’t want her friends to be exposed to a man like this. He agreed to refund the deposit but the money hasn’t yet appeared (after several days). He has also continued to send her nasty messages late at night.

Does anyone have any suggestions for getting the deposit back? My friend doesn’t want to engage any further with this guy unless she absolutely has to, but she really needs the money back in the run-up to her wedding!

We have his first name (or maybe an alias), mobile number, email address and several domain names.

Any advice gratefully received.

How much is deposit. He sounds like a creep. I know you say she needs it but unless it's a really large amount I'd be tempted to cut my losses and block him on everything. If not I'd ask a man to continue the negotiations only because he might not be as brave when dealing with a male.

I think the deposit was £50. If it were a tenner I’d advise her to let it go, but £50 is a fair bit.

Even £50 is not worth any continuing hassle. I'd just cut all contact and forget about the whole sorry episode.

Police for harassment
Small claims court for deposit
Maybe then he will realise he can't behave like that and not do it to anyone else.

www.gov.uk/make-court-claim-for-money

I have some experience of the small claims court. Surely we’d need his surname and address to use it, though?

Is there something your friend isn't telling you? Seems weird that he runs his own business and is just a general creep. Who the fuck would want him to turn up?

If he harrassing her and being vil, the police is an option. He isn't going to give the money back out of choice.

If I was her I would just not have a stripper and forget the £50. She was planning in spending it anyway.

I didn't realise people booked their own strippers.

For £50 I'd cut my losses. Block him on everything.

Nope, I was involved in the booking process and have seen all the messages. He seemed very normal and nice until after my friend confirmed the booking.

Nasty in what way?
It's really odd behaviour but quite possible.

If he's still texting and harassing her i would suggest police.
Can she get the money refunded by her bank?

How can you not afford to lose the money, when you were planning to spend that and a lot more to have him attend your party?

Iamagreyhound, it’s not my party - you might want to RTFT and perhaps try a little empathy for my friend who has been ripped off and is also being harassed by someone she thought was genuine? He is texting her in the small hours calling her a fake, a fraudster, saying he’ll refund her, then saying maybe he won’t, etc. Nasty stuff.

Pretty sure you can’t do anything when it’s a bank transfer - if it’s paid by debit card the bank could do a charge back but she’s voluntarily paid for it iyswim

How come this all came about - what sort of messages has he been sending?

Why did your friend do this direct and not via an agency?

You would need a surname to make bank payment

Why did he start texting her in the wee small hours in the first place? If he works nights (and I'd imagine most of his gigs are evenings/nights) perhaps he's lost all concept of what is a normal time to contact people to confirm arrangements.

He started texting her in the small hours because she was busy that evening (out at a concert) and he demanded to speak to her on the phone there and then to prove she was genuine, despite her already having paid the deposit. She didn’t receive the text as her phone was off, and his texts then continued and escalated, like a crazy person, until about 2am in the morning!