Need some advice about what to do with DHs 'friend'

[Nemo2007]

I use the term 'friend' loosely. Basically when I was very depressed the friend asked dh to lend him some money from one of his credit cards. Dh being the numpty he is did it as this bloke was getting married and struggling to pay etc. Anyways it turns out that dh lent him over £7000in 2004. Now some of you know we are now in an IVA and I think this is part of the cause. Anyways the friend was paying the credit card bill then he started to miss payments etc. All this time Dh didnt tell me and I thought he had spent all the money. Anyway just before we got the IVA in jan 2006 he told me what had happened. Now this 'friend' was supposed to keep paying DH £150 a month towards the bill and it would be cleared the same time our IVA would be. This happened for a whiel sometimes he missed payment but would then make it up the next month etc. Then in octobed 2006 the 'friend' said he had right to buy his council house and would be giving us the full £7000 back. Great we thought as could pay of a huge chunk of the IVA. So he stopped paying the £150 with various excuses of he had to pay fees for valuations etc which we remember doing when buying our house. However he still has not paid us anything despite the times dh was out of work etc and his excuse was that his wife had not been paying their rent while all this was going on so they now had to catch up on the deficit in order for the mortgage to go through. Now he promised to come with at least £150 on saturday but didnt turn up and havent heard from him. Dh has tried phoning him but phone is not connecting so he has resorted to calling his parents who live 2 houses away.
So question is do we stand anywhere with this?? The only proof we have is that he was paying the bills for xxxx months. So do we class it as our money is gone or do we go and see someone for advice???

[sugar34plum]

i would see cab /legal advice. Its a huge amount of money to give up on. Some friend!

[Nemo2007]

thanks sugarplum.
Its hard as dont want to really have a go as he could just completely refuse to pay anything, of course we are still holding onto the vague hope he is sorting out his rent/mortgage stuff.

[BigGitDad]

legal advice needed here, also can you trace the money being lent was it a cheque etc, that might help prove that you lent him the money but it will be his word against yours.
You need to see a solicitor, I think most of them do not charge for the first visit, however you will have to weigh up the costs of using a solicitor against the amount of money you (might) get back.

[Nemo2007]

BGD no he took the money off the credit card afaik

[sugar34plum]

shame you cant prove it or would have been a possibility that you could have put a charge on his house. I get so at this sort of thing. Some people have no morals. He knows he owes you that money so his conscionce ( cant spell! ) should make him want to pay it back never mind that he just should!

[lulumama]

so , nothing else in writing?

i would go to the CAB and see what their opinion is, you cannot write off £7000, just like that....you friend has effectively stolen that money off you , as he has not paid it back...£150 pcm ..would that have cleared the £7000??

he is spinning you a line, and has taken advantage.

i'd take him to small claims court if possible...if found in your favour, a judgement will be entered against him that should ruin his credit rating

[Nemo2007]

no nothing in writing apart from he has signed when he was paying the to the credit card company. It has caused a lot of problems in our relationship as to be quite honest DH is very weak with him as he doesnt like confrontation. Where despite everything else this type of thing makes my blood boil. One of tthe worst betrayals I think it to take money from friends who dont have it and then not pay it back. Prior to this we had also asked if they would be legal guardians to our children if anything happened to us...obviously now that is never going to happen and that makes me quite sad that they have treated us like this.

[sugar34plum]

it is sad that an obviously close friendship has been lost to the selfish greed of the op. Feel for you i really do.

[lulumama]

he has signed something then?


good

all very well your DH not liking confrontation, but i would not like losing £7000 even more !

[BigGitDad]

I think you need to take control of this situation from your husband if he does not like confrontation. Explain to the person who borrowed the money that you are getting legal advice, that you have a signed agreement with him and give him a week to respond. In the meantime get legal advice.
I do not think the small claims court will be much help as they deal with issues smaller than the amount you are asking for back. But do check that i may be incorrect.

[Nemo2007]

Thanks BGD.
We phoned the 'friend' today to find out why he didnt turn up on saturday and he is basically saying he didnt get paid as much as he thought and he is going into hospital tommorow blah blah blah..all sounds like a load of rubbish but now we have to wait till next weekend as he is in hospital for a couple of days.