I'm currently in a long term relationship that has been on the rocks for some time due to my other half's mental health and I know we're likely going to have to call it a day because neither of us is happy and its having a noticeable effect on our kids.
We have three children, one of whom is diagnosed Autistic and another is awaiting assessment.
I foolishly gave up my work when I had my third child and started working for our business instead. If we separate I fear I will lose my income from the business because it's hard enough working together now let alone after separation. I had wanted to do my masters and retrain this year when my youngest starts school but I fear this will no longer be an option if we separate. We have a repayment mortgage and excellent credit scores. We are unmarried but the house (deeds and mortgage) are in both our names as is the business. When we've discussed separation before it has always been agreed that the kids and I will stay where we are and I believe my other half will stick to that if we can afford it.
I don't want to be a pain for my other half when the time comes and would like to relinquish him of any financial responsibility as soon as I can so he can get on with his own life but I'm seriously worried that I won't be able to finance our life without help.
I think realistically, and I hope only in the short term, I will have to rely on some kind of benefits until I can earn enough to stand on my own financially. If I'm honest this is a worry for me because I've not done it before but my kids struggle with change (our last house move was a trigger for one of my kids with ASD who couldn't sleep properly for over a year afterwards and now has melatonin because the change was too much for him) I don't want to make a separation even more traumatic by forcing them to leave their home as well although I realise this might not be avoidable.
If there's anyone out there that knows about this subject I would love your advice. I have googled it but to be honest I find it too much to get my head around at the moment. One of the reasons I haven't ended things before now is because I'm scared that me and the kids will end up with nowhere to live.
In short I'd like to know about which benefits I could use until I get on my feet as a single parent and if there are any for my ASD kids, also if there is anything I could do to support myself if I were to retrain, and any advice centres that are helpful. I really don't want to end up stuck on benefits (especially because I worry they'll miscalculate and come knocking for it later on) but I have resigned myself that given my family circumstances I might have to think about it temporarily to make a happier life for all of us.