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Original poster

Please help with my friends situation - her dad is sellign the house she lives in to help his skint partner

35 replies

ThomCat · 24/05/2007 20:08

Her dad wants to sell the family home that she is living in (her inheritence) becasue his girlfriend has got herself in a finacial mess and needs help. Their answer - sell his house that my friend lives in and pays him rent for.

So - any general advise for her would be great but right now we wondered what she can get a motgage for?

She thinks she might have a deposit of about £60K and earns about £28k a year.

This woman also has a son (who doesn't live with them) but he'll get whatever his mum has when she passes away so it should be done fairly so that my friend isn't left with less than her son will get. Not sure how she goes about dealing with this.

OP posts:

LucyJones · 24/05/2007 20:11

I think she just has to forget about her inheritance and just concentrate on the present. Her father might need the any money to pay for a nursing home later on anyway so it's very silly to depend on something that might never materialise in my view.
A 60K deposit is loads and a salary of 28k is a lot more than the national average I think.

Original poster

ThomCat · 24/05/2007 20:19

But why does she have to forget her inheritence becasue her dad's girlfriend has messed up and got herself in a financial mess?

She lives in London so you don't get that much for your money round here.

OP posts:

LucyJones · 24/05/2007 20:22

Because it's inheritance and no one has died yet.
Sorry but I really don't get this 'that's my money' attitude about money that belongs to another person.
God, I probably sound really harsh but I truly never think that way.

edam · 24/05/2007 20:23

Does she have any rights as a tenant, at all, or is renting from family different to the usual scheme of things?

I dimly recall that any adult in a property has to consent to a sale - I had to sign something when my mother sold our home when I was 17 (athough it may have changed in the 100s of years since then). I don't think you can actually stop the sale, but you can delay it.

Isn't there something about being able to register an interest with the Land Registry - or does that only apply to couples? Worth asking the LR about it.

Ultimately, though, it's her father's house, so it's up to him what he does with it, I'm afraid. Even if she disagrees with him.

Cappuccino · 24/05/2007 20:24

can she buy it off him?

lulumama · 24/05/2007 20:26

if she can afford a big deposit and a mortgage, she should look to buy it

'inheritance' is meaningless until someone has died, and that particular asset has been willed to someone!

NurseyJo · 24/05/2007 20:26

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Aitch · 24/05/2007 20:26

i don't get the 'inheritance' thing, it's his house and he's still alive so how can it be passed on? if she's really got 60grand as a deposit she's in an infinitely better position than most people buying their first property. tbh she needs to get on the property ladder anyway, with that sort of money floating about.

Original poster

ThomCat · 24/05/2007 20:27

Well, right, ok thanks for your help LK - don't think I'll pass any of that onto her right now as she is ast here in floods of tears, worried and not really knowing where she stands. Thanks anyway.

Edam - yes absolutley it's up to him, we just trying to work out what to do. Where she stands uin terms of making sure her step brother doesn't get his mums house where she is left with nothing. That doesn't seem fair. She's just sad and worrid, she's losing the home she's lived in since she was born becasue her dad's bird is skint. Understandably she's upset and understandably I'm just trying to get her soem advice.

OP posts:

Cappuccino · 24/05/2007 20:30

I get the point about the step brother that is a bugger

can her father not marry the woman and make a joint will so the final split is fairer?

because if it's not that serious a relationship he didn't ought to be taking this step to start with

Original poster

ThomCat · 24/05/2007 20:32

thanks capp

OP posts:

Carmenere · 24/05/2007 20:32

Could she make him an offer for a reduced price?

80sMum · 24/05/2007 20:32

If the house is your friend's main residence then her dad will need her consent in order to sell it.

Aitch · 24/05/2007 20:33

i take it the girlfriend can't increase her own mortgage to cover the debts?

LucyJones · 24/05/2007 20:35

I'm sorry TC - I realise I sound harsh but I don't think I've posted anythign really bad. And the other posts show that I'm not alone.
My uncle spent his whole life depending on my grandpa's money when he died. He had alzeimers and all the money from his house was used to pay for a private nursing home. My uncle was furious with my mother because she wouldn't take him in to stop paying this money. I know it's not the same scenario but it made me determined to stand on my own teo feet and not depend on something that may never happen.
Sorry, but your friend has 60k in the bank. Surely the best advice you could give her is to encourage her to stand on her own two feet?

Muminfife · 24/05/2007 20:37

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shonaspurtle · 24/05/2007 20:40

I know it doesn't feel like it, but if the £60k deposit is money from the sale of the house, at least she's getting it. As someone else mentioned, if her father needed to pay for care Social Services would make him sell the house to pay for it and she might end up with nothing.

Can her father make the money to his gf a loan to be repaid from her estate on her death so that your friend would still get that money? I don't know how enforceable that would be but might be worth consulting a solicitor if her dad was agreeable.

shonaspurtle · 24/05/2007 20:41

Sorry, that first part makes no sense. I was making a trite comment about silver linings. Please ignore.

teafortwoandtwofortea · 24/05/2007 20:42

What's the house worth? If you take her salary and work out what mortgage she could get plus her deposit that comes to £158k. She could probably get more with certain lenders or if she went with a longer term. Would that be enough?

I know it doesn't seem 'fair' but life's not so she should just get on with it. Let her Dad know she's not hapy and this has hurt her feelings but sometimes that's just how it goes. We're really strapped right now but my parents have just inherited a load from my grandparents - we need it, they don't but they'll get it - life! One day, when my parents die (if they have anything left) it may come to us but by then we'll be ok and it'll be our children struggling... endless cycle!

Original poster

ThomCat · 24/05/2007 20:45

She's not relying on £60k, but it's what she's been told she'll get.

Look, don't worry about it, I was worried about the stepbrother situation and her mum getting her house saved and my mate losing her home to save that house and the brother ending up with it and wondered if anyone had advice.

Don't worry about it. I want to help her and support her.

OP posts:

colditz · 24/05/2007 20:45

Oh it is sad, I know, but it's really not her money, it's his money, and he can do what he likes with it. If he wants to sell his house to help his girlfriend, well, that is his right.

colditz · 24/05/2007 20:46

But I really honestlt do see how gutting it must be to watch your childhood home be sold for someone else's benefit who doesn't even belong in the family.

LucyJones · 24/05/2007 20:47

I thought you meant she had 60k in the bank.
I know you want to help and support her. You sound a lovely friend.
This thread has bought back bad memories for me, I shouldn't have posted

Aitch · 24/05/2007 20:49

i see that too, colditz, but if she's getting £60 grand out of it at least that's something. as i said, why can't the gf part-sell her house or up her mortgage?

Aitch · 24/05/2007 20:49

yes, LJ, that's how i read it too, that she had 60k already.

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