How does your joint account work?

[Perhapsiwill]

Before my DP and I had children we used to put an equal amount into a joint account and all bills came out of that. The rest was ours to spend. Simple.

After DCs I went back to work part time. I stopped putting into joint account but paid for all food and kids stuff, this was working when they were pre school.

Fast forward 10 years and arrangement has remained, I'm still part time but never have any money as kids clubs cost lots, clothes etc all seem to add up to too much for me to afford.

I am wondering how others split this? My DP is self employed so no set income which makes it hard to work anything out!

What do you have coming out of joint account? Food and kids stuff as well as all bills? Or some other arrangement?

Thanks

We have one current account. All money goes into it and we can both access it equally. We also only have one CC account and both have equal access to the cards.

My dh earns substantially more than I do . However, as I decided (with dh's blessing) to change my career to a lower paid one and, when dd was younger, worked PT I did the vast majority of child care and, back then, the housework. My job therefore enabled dh the opportunities to get to a Kaitlin in his to earn more. Dh saw this as a joint effort and still does - it's all shared family income.

We do have various savings accounts in both of our names, but they all come out of the joint moneys and for our joint futures and retirements. It just better financial sense to have some of these in different names.

I didn't realise so many people did it all from one pot! I'm not sure I'd like that as I would feel I had to justify purchases. I spend more than my DP would on clothes or shoes for example, not that I have been recently due to no money! How does that work?

We each spend money on different things. Smaller purchases are just done. Larger expensive purchases we will generally chat about and we will both agree. No one vetoes the other's spending but it makes sense that larger purchases are discussed. Despite me earning a lot less than dh he has never suggested I don't buy something. Infact it's often more him encouraging me to spend more. I think I probably do more smaller value purchases overall than him. Though he is more likely to spend more on individual items. So it generally evens out anyway.

We put money into a joint account for all bills, mortgage, etc. We also have a cc, currently in DH’s name with an extra card for me, that we use for house-related purchases, lunches out, coffee, holidays etc., and that is paid in full every month from the joint account. DH is a significantly higher earner than me and his DS is with us 6 days a fortnight, so he puts in slightly more than I do to cover DSS’s food and days out/holidays with us. We increase the base amount to cover buying expensive stuff as necessary.

What’s left of mine is mine to spend and save. Same for DH but he additionally pays CM, all DSS’s school fees and half of all his out of school activities, so disposable income just about evens out.

I like it this way because it gives us both control. I don’t need to concern myself with what he’s paying DSS’s mum (or how much those golf clubs cost 😄) and I can give my own adult DS “pocket money” for his travels without needing to justify anything.

In my previous marriage everything was pooled but exH was useless with money and basically spent his own and then started on mine. Saving was impossible. DH is not like that at all, and would actually not bat an eyelid if I gave my DS £100 of joint money, but I’m scarred and anxious about money so this works well for us.

Everything in one pot, everything out of one pot. I spend more than DH, he earns more than me as I work part time.

We have similar attitudes to money, but crucially we have enough to do what we want. That means that there are no arguments because one person spent all the spare cash. I think how much money ther is, is actually the most important factor.

Salaries paid into our personal accounts

We both put a proportional sum of our earnings into the joint account each month (my salary is 5x his) and keep the rest in our personal accounts. This can vary eg if either of us gets a bonus or any extra income, or drops if he is between contracts, but the basics are always covered. House, council tax, utilites, car payments, savings, childcare, insurance, direct debits etc all come out of the joint account. Any surplus stays in the account (has reasonable interest) and gets used for big one off payments eg flights, holidays, furniture purchases, yearly insurance payments, garden work etc. Can also draw on it if either of us needs a bit of extra for any reason.

Personal accounts are used to pay our own expenses, our own credit cards, and petrol usage, work trips and training. Food, clothes, kids stuff, meals etc. is paid for out of our personal accounts, depending on whos doing the shopping or taking them out. I have more to spend than him overall so most of the family stuff ends up paid through my accounts, but also have more debts to service than him and more costs related to work so it all evens out.

Important thing is we are on the same page in terms of priorities, money and other shared stuff eg housework, childcare and neither of us spends a lot on individual hobbies etc so there are no big arguments or any micromanaging. When DP has been out of work he has taken on SAHD role I would make sure the whole joint sum was covered, and that he had some money each month in his account so he would be able to deal with the day to day stuff without ever needing to ask, with the savings on childcare we just about broke even.

We could always do with a bit less debt or a bit extra money, but it all bumbles along in a reasonable direction and can respond to big changes or any crisis. Big thing is being able to discuss money and priorities, make big decisions together and rely on each other to be reasonable adults.