Partner wants involvement in everything I do?

[jojowilliams]

So not really Mum related but wanting some advice,
My other half feels they have to be involved with everything I do.
Note we are not married, my son is not their child and we don't live together
Daft things like I make a blanket for my son they want to be involved, I painted a book case Winnie the Pooh, wanted to be involved as gets annoyed if I paint without them and tells me which bits they want to do....
biggest thing is I'm looking into starting my own business (my idea and I know how I want it) but they insist on doing a website and that I'm not aloud to change ANYTHING as I have no website making skills and they do.
I don't know if they are just trying to be nice but I feel like I can't have any of my own accomplishments? I want this business for me and my son so I can pass it on later on in life if it works out, I suppose I'm just worried as if I don't know anything about the website ect what would stop them taking it if we ever split up? Any advice?

You don't need to say anything about possible future problems from your partner.
Just say the domain name's gone so you're thinking up a new one and you've decided to organise the website yourself.
It doesn't matter if your partner is the world's biggest whizz at websites, they have no right to get annoyed or try to bully you if you say that's what you want to do.

Any update OP? X

Not as of yet as still at work but have said that he hasn't bought it... i have checked and there is one available still

Take your legs and run, at least as far as the business is concerned. If he does it then he'll not only control it but will have the intelloproperty in the design, possibly even the domain name depending on who ordered and paid for it.

"can I ask why it's controlling? I think I'm maybe just being blind to it :/ but they make out they just want to help...?

gets annoyed if I paint without them and tells me which bits they want to do....

they insist on doing a website and that I'm not allowed to change ANYTHING "

Yes, it's controlling. Do you tell him what he can and can't do in his own home, or is it just him telling you? What about when you do things together, if you suggest something he's not particularly keen on, does he go along with it to make you happy or do you have to change your plans to something he likes?

As pp have said, completely controlling and this will get worse.

Take control of the website and get rid of him.

I really would not share my idea, my business , my future income with anyone as it could backfire if you split at some time in the future. What if they claim that the website, company name , domain name is theirs - as they set it up, how long for your business to recover a name change etc?

If you can use a computer and follow instructions, you can build a website. Don't be daunted by it, it's just a learning process.

I use Squarespace, but there are several others with similar setups and pricing.

They have templates;
www.squarespace.com/templates/
Their support is good, and you can try it before you commit to payment.

Payments are reasonable;
www.squarespace.com/pricing/

You can check if a domain is available here, and buy it;

www.squarespace.com/domain-name-search/

Buy the domain you want NOW, and be very careful about how much involvement you allow your partner to have. As other have said, he could effectively shut you out of your own business!

He's going to LET you have the password to your own website?

You sound great, OP. Obviously there will be things you will learn from in the early days particularly, but I don't think this man is the best person to be with. He wants things to be his way. You have your life. You want your own business. He wants to control those things.

Get in touch with Womensaid and ask for counselling re coercive control - this guy is very bad news - get some help to protect you and your child - he's love bombing you in order to dismantle your boundaries - this is not love nor care but abuse

As a business owner you should have full control over your website

^^This. No one outside the business should have control over something so important.

Pay someone to do it, they’ll advise you but you’ll have control.

Look at your competitors’ websites, see what they do, what you like/don’t like/could improve for ideas and inspiration.

Google WHOIS and type the name of the website you originally wanted. It will show you who owns that domain.
If it's your OH then you'll know.

I would follow Belindas advice. Also I am struggling with his letting you do stuff - you’re a grown adult. He doesn’t get to let you do anything. It does raise red flags. I’d start saying no to things and see how he reacts.

Definitely create your own. So what if you have not done one before, everyone who has created a website had to start somewhere. There are step by step ones as others have mentioned.

Your spidery senses are tingly for a reason. He’s doesn’t sound like he has your best interests at heart.

I read on mn that you should say no a few times very early on in a relationship and see how he reacts.