Where can I save

[BankAccountLikeAColander]

I am cringeing writing this as I know we are very fortunate and earn way above the average salary in the UK and I know I'm going to get angry people lecturing me about how lucky and stupid I am. But we have very very little disposable cash and I'm just trying to understand whether that's just normal for our earnings or whether we have just spent too much on our house.
Combined salary is £165k. Mortgage is £1400 a month. Nursery just over £2k. Travel about £1k.
We live in the South East.

Can't you cut the hedge yourself?

Just fuck off OP.

That's bonkers. My house is very large (7 beds six bathrooms) and our windows which includes one full wall double storey window plus a large glass roof cost £55 for cleaning. Gutters should only need doing once/twice a year.

Don’t skip gutter cleaning as it can leas to water damage eventually.

Can you do some of the gardening yourselves? Not all, but maybe some. Look into hiring tools for e g hedge cutting first, rather than buying them, in case you decide you really can’t do it yourselves going forward (£1k sounds like loads to me but I have tiny garden!).

I've never once cleaned my gutters, not in 20 years, no issues so far.

I feel we need the savings and health insurance in case something happens to one of us or the roof needs re-tiling etc. If we needed tests then private healthcare could be very helpful but there are lots of conditions where it's not possible to go private anyway. I have had to use my health insurance before and I was glad I had it. But I wonder if it would be good to pay a smaller amount into a designated account and pay as we go.
It's not that I let my children's toes get scrunched up or anything but more that I have to wait until payday and I will be trying to offset elsewhere/cut back on food to pay. I end up having lots of online baskets with things in them but I have to wait to ensure that there is enough left at the end of the month.

We work long hours and have small children so no, we can't manage all the gardening ourselves. Plus the hedges are 10 ft in places.

The NHS is your health insurance. We don't live in America, not yet anyway.

Cloudtree your window cleaner sounds a lot more reasonable! People charge so much for everything here. We often just leave things because prices are so extortionate.

Why are you spending £120 a month on mobile phones? You don’t need a home landline and mobile. How often do you do a price comparison check on your gas and electric? How many are there for £600 food bill - where do you shop?

Get rid of the private health insurance.

Op we live on a similar net monthly income to you (earn more but for various reasons that doesn't come into the household finances). I think its easy to feel like its such a large amount of money that you should be able to afford anything and everything. Clearly that isn't the case. I don't think your bills sound unreasonable (apart from your window cleaning) but I think you spend a lot on food and that you need to reduce the amount you save. I don't think you need private healthcare. If you are not prepared to change the amount you put away in savings then I don't think you are in a position where you can afford just to pay for things like new fencing immediately, it needs to be something you save up for.

I think you've fallen into the "wow we are loaded lets just buy everything we want and need immediately" trap.

Can you let the hedges grow a bit more and get them cut every few years instead of regularly?

Our windows are done by a national firm. UKwindowclean.com

I personally would keep saving the £700 a month and cut back on bills, insurances, living expenses, hedge trimming and general unnecessary spending. I'd rather save £700 a month and have no car than vice versa.

To be fair OP you probably can do the gardening yourself. It's a lifestyle choice. One involves paying someone else to do it and you having weekends free to do other things with the children. The other involves being with the DC out in the garden at the weekend, them playing and "helping", you and DH doing the gardening. One involves you spending even more money you don't have free, the other results in savings which you can use to buy shoes.

10 ft hedges are only a once a year expense. Get them chopped down lower next time and they'll not need doing for two years

But my point remains that its the savings.

what food are you buying that costs £600 for two adults and two small DC?

Your savings don't sound excessive - around 10% of your take home. Equally a £3k holiday doesn't sound a lot. But if you can't afford it don't go on it for a year, bank the money and draw down on it for shoes and clothes and gifts.

Be forensic about where your money goes. Posh coffee, lunch out, the odd takeaway easily could add up to £100 per month and bingo there's a new pair of kids shoes and a present.

Well you know I'm going to say but you have a large income compared to most families so this is easily do-able.
Cut your savings per month down to £500.
£200 a month on gas and electricity is a lot. Shop around, and watch your usage.
£100 on mobiles a month is a lot. Mine is £19 a month and that includes all minutes, texts and data than I can ever use.
£600 a month on food is a lot. We are in a 2 adult, 2 kid family are our grocery bill for the month is £400-500 a month, which I thought was a lot.
Private health insurance isn't necessary.

It's a bit ridiculous to spend 3k on a holiday and then say you can't afford to buy your children shoes!

I'd look at exactly what you are spending on. There will be excess there.

Also you are spending more than you can afford on holiday. Probably too late to claw that back this year but clearly next year don't spend 3k on one!

Short term cut down on the amount you are saving and buy your kids new shoes!

Broadband and phone is expensive: you could be paying £20/month less and cheaper still for a while with intro offers eg www.productsandservices.bt.com/broadband/deals?s_cid=con_ppc_maxus_vidZ60_T1&vendorid=Z60&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIlqrf9vbm2gIVCrXtCh2mrAhOEAAYASAAEgJYDfD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

Mobiles - are you still paying for expensive phones beyond contract end? We pay less than half that for 3 mobiles.

I'll say the same to you as I would to a family on 20k pa - write down EVERTHING you spend for a couple of weeks (preferably start on on pay day) and take it from there. Even if you buy a coffee or a loaf of bread.

You may find that £50 here and there has become 2k a month. If you're just dipping into your current account and spending whenever you fancy then this is very likely.

Also your shopping bill is too high , think about buying cheaper food. As others have said, loom at our energy supplier too as you are paying a lot.

Finally, are you paying others to do jobs around the house that you could do yourself?

£600 on food includes eating out once or twice a month. £450 on groceries at sainsburys. Eating out is our main entertainment cost - we don't have sky/gym membership etc
We have two cars (not by any means new) and savings include money to pay for the inevitable bits that go wrong with them. We have to have two cars because of where we live.

£600 on food includes eating out once or twice a month. £450 on groceries at sainsburys. Eating out is our main entertainment cost - we don't have sky/gym membership etc

Honestly BankAccount, so you spend £150 a month on eating out but won't buy your children new shoes? Next month only spend £50 on a meal out, or a couple of take-aways, and buy your kids some new shoes each.

There's no point asking others for help when you won't even consider cutting back on your luxuries for a month and do the really obvious things that you need to do to afford the basics.

£450 seems high for groceries op , you could feed four on £300 and still have treats in your shop. If you cut your eating out to once a month then you're saving £175 per month easily.