How to sort separate finances

[bossbaby]

Can I ask some advice on how to sort out separate finances, at the minute all money is paid into a joint account but I want to suggest to DH we go back to separate accounts with just the joint account for bills.

Problem I have is DH earns 4 times the amount I do so how would it work, I've heard other people mention you do it by percentage of what you earn but again how does that work?

Once you cover all bills, could you work out an amount to transfer out into joint savings and an amount each for spending money? Personal work-related expenses such as travel/lunch, then equal for spending more generally?

Is there a reason you want separate finances? We have a disparity in income (I'm the earner and DH a SAHD) and I can't imagine us not having equal access to the household money.

Work our combined salary and then the percentage of each, eg you earn 50 k combined, one of you earns 20k (40%) And the other 30k (60%). Work out your monthly bills total. One of you pays 40% of the total and the other 60%. We do this and have our own accounts plus a joint bills account.

I like the sound of that way of working it out eurochick.

I did also think about doing it that way as well SuperLoudPoppingAction.

I just feel as if I've lost a bit of my own independence KanielOutis before DC we had our own accounts with a joint account we put equal amounts in each month for bills but when DC came along and I reduce my hours it made sense to put everything into the one account which I now wish I'd resisted.

How we do it is (we are both v independent and like our own accounts for eg buying daft things or presents or just because we have different attitudes to what to do with spare cash, but we do talk v openly about money)...
joint account for bills - we both transfer into that for mortgage, bills and we use it as a joint savings account
joint account for groceries etc - both transfer into that
the rest is for us to save individually as we wish, or to spend.

The intention is to ensure one of us doesn't have to ask the other for eg cash for an office whip-round or that kind of thing, but to also ensure our essential expenses are covered.
If we had more money we might do it differently maybe

Does he question what you are spending?
If I were you I would keep the current account for all the bills and set them to come out direct debit.

Transfer an agreed amount into a "housekeeping" fund you both have access to. Use this for food shopping, anything dc needs, any family days out.

Transfer an agreed amount to savings.

50/50 the rest for individual money.

No NapQueen he doesn't question me about my spending, we both have equal access and discuss the spending of large amounts.

I think I'm going through a bit of a personal crisis within myself that I'm no longer my own person, I'm either a mum or a wife and I feel the need to be able to do things on my own without having to take other people views/opinions on board all the time and one of those is money, such as if I want to update my car I can or if I want to spend silly money on a designer pair of shoes I can without having to check with my DH.

If you do it on a percentage basis with such a disparity in salary, your DH will end up with a lot more personal spending money than you. If you are the lower earner because you are doing the childcare and running the house, this still isn't a fair way to split things.

More fair is for all income to go into the joint account and all household expenses, joint savings for annual and irregular expenses plus any pension contributions to come out of that and you equally split the rest 50/50 for personal spending money.

Yes, agree that it sounds like you each need to transfer an agreed some of "pocket money" to your own personal accounts, and take it from there!

Yes Barbara and Messy you're both probably right that an equal amount of pocket money each is the way to go, now to broach the subject with DH.