Selling house, joint bank account, controlling husband, advice please

[justanunfortunateslipup]

I want to leave my controlling H. We jointly own a house which is about to be sold and we are due to exchange this week. H is mostly managing the sale. The house is worth £2million and we have a £400K mortgage on it.

The money from the sale will go into our joint bank account. We don't have any controls in place on our joint account regarding who has to approve the other taking money out.

I am presuming that in order to control me further, H will try to withdraw money straight away when it goes in or try to prevent me getting my hands on it.

We have 3 DC.

What would be best for me to do in this situation?

Shouild I:
Put controls in place to make sure I have to approve of any withdrawals or vice versa?

get a solicitor now and what should I ask them to do regarding the money from the sale?

I have never sold a house before and not familiar with the process (although H has.) What is my best time to act?

I'm no expert but would get specialist advice in case he has intentions of moving the money. Start by getting an appointment at the bank.

get on to the bank urgently - once you complete that money will be in and straight out, and at the moment there is nothing to stop that.

If there is this level of distrust are you continuing with the marriage. Seek legal advice. I think either of you can usually withdraw funds from a joint account with only one signature. . Why not phone the bank and ask if it can be changed to an account needing both of your signatures if the amount is over a certain figure.

Speak to the solicitor, and advise you have set up a new savings account and want your share paid into that and explain why. I cannot see an issue with that providing you hold the property in equal shares or as joint tenants.

Speak IMMEDIATELY to your solicitor and say you want the money paid half in your bank account, half in his, NOT in a joint account. Then get proper legal advice.

A friend had this happen to her. Once they had exchanged he said he was divorcing her and she was to find somewhere to rent. I asked why she just didnt refuse to complete, she admitted she was frightened of him. Do not exchange until you have everything organised. My friend was left with £6k after a legal fight at the age of 59. The controlling bastard had met someone else she later found out.

Just to reiterate. Because you jointly own the house, the solicitors can only take instructions you agree on - so if you tell them they must not pay the sale proceeds into the joint account, they won't. Make sure you do this before completion. Sadly, though, this will give the game away a bit with your H.

Get legal advice asap. Go onto the resolution website, to find someone local to you. Ideally you want a firm but fair approach, anyone less robust will make the situation so much more stressful for you.

(Speak to your solicitor prior to doing this because the timing of this is crucial.)
Register matrimonial home rights with the land registry, (he will get a letter notifying him) it prevents completion taking place without your say so. Halting the sale will buy you time or use it as leverage to get your ‘d’h to comply with interim arrangements, because once he knows you’re leaving he will get angry and he will not give you or dc a penny unless he’s forced to.

Once sold by agreement, proceeds of sale can be held by the conveyancing solicitor pending separation and divorce proceedings.

Then prepare for a long battle ahead, gather as much financial information as you can whilst you still have access to paperwork, accounts, investments, any other assets. You need to start getting clued up. He will use every trick to avoid his obligations. It is not going to be pleasant, controlling individuals do not like loosing control. Keep safe, contact women’s in RL, I found so much support here too.

@thousandpapercranes They're joint owners. Exchange of contracts already required her say so. However, she said exchange was due "this week" on Wednesday, so it's probably already happened. Holding up completion will incur potentially huge costs, so I think the best bet now is just to ensure the solicitors hang onto the proceeds until there's agreement about splitting it.