Money given for house deposit, no split up

[lunklitdays]

Hi
I just wondered if anyone could give me some advice on how to move forward with a financial issue that is causing some trouble.

My ex DP and I bought a house 3 years ago, we split up in September last year. The house was bought in his name as my credit isnt great after 10 years of being a single parent and being landed with all debt from my previous relationship (my elder dc dad).

I am in a very fortunate position that my parents gave me £30k for the deposit on the house, it was a gift to me and my dc. I got a legal document signed at the time to say it was my money and should anything happen the full amount would be returned to me.

I split with last dp in September. I moved out the house as it was far from my parents, work etc and now live in a Council house with my (now) 3 dc. The little one is from my last dp. I have asked for the money back, have tried to be nice about it but it is getting me nowhere. I tried again to explain how I really need the money, I have no debt and manage to pay bills etc every month but have nothing left over. Come the end of the month we are barely surviving. I would like the money as a bit of a safety net, should anything break in my house I've no idea how I would replace it, car bills etc. I'd also dearly love to take my children abroad, my eldest will be off to university in a couple of years and I'd love us to all go somewhere together next year.

Both fathers pay cm which I do appreciate but I still struggle. I brought it up again today with my ex who told me until he can remortgage the house in 1.5 years time he cannot give me it. I appreciate its a lot of money but he does not want to sell the house (it's very convenient for his work and is a lovely house) nor will he consider selling a very expensive asset that he bought when we were together (upwards of £45k) as it is his hobby but also brings money in.

I have threatened to go to a solicitor but tbh I don't have the money to do this plus I hate causing bad feeling, I'm scared if I do that he will stop his cm which is given weekly but under no formal agreement.

I don't know what to do. Can anyone advise if I went to a solicitor (we are in Scotland) what they would recommend? I think I am probably too soft, have been walked over so many times I don't have any confidence in myself yet I want my money back for my children. I should add I also gave him £7k if savings I had and I am not asking for that back, just my parents money.

Sorry this is so long, I just don't know what to do now. Thank you for reading

I would suggest going to CAB to get advice. Were \ are you married to your ex ? Did you register an interest on the house ? 30k is alot of money. You need legal advice

There is nothing to stop him doing additional borrowing prior to the remortgaging. You can do that at anytime as long as the house has the equity in it and he can "afford" it according to the bank.
Sadly there is no guarantee that he will be able to take the money out of the house so I would suggest legal advise as if he has assets that could cover the amount it maybe that the courts could rule he has to sell the assets to repay you.

Take Legal advice asap
Best to take court action and lodge an Inhibition against him taking out further borrowing
You are at risk at present as if he takes out further secured lending you will rank after that

So you went into the relationship with 2 kids to support and 37k, and came out with 3 kids to support and nothing? While he sits in a house of his own with a 45k asset to hand? Hm. I do see your point re not wanting to rock the boat Re maintenance (although really, that is just his most basic duty!), but I also think he is being spectacularly unfair towards you. Were you divorcing you would be entitled to a lot more and he would be either selling the house or paying for you 4 to stay in it.

If he refuses to remortgages you can apply to court for either the return of your 30k or an order for sale of the property as you have a beneficial interest in it. You will need proof of your interest in the house. So a witness statement laying out what you paid, when and a copy of the cheque, withdrawal of the cash or something similar. As it's 30k you can try to do it in the small claims track but it could get bumped onto the multitrack. It isn't complex so I reckon they would hear it in the small claims. You don't need a solicitor to do this. You can do the claim online.
Before that, you need to write a formal letter demanding the return of your money. Give him 21 days to respond. Send it recorded delivery or hand deliver it, write a formal statement that you hand delivered the letter at 8.15 on Thursday xx of April or whatever. If he doesn't respond I would get a solicitors letter sent, then do an online claim if he still fails to pay up. He clearly isn't taking you seriously.

There is no easy win. You invested into this house, and getting out of the investment isn't straight forward. Not having your name on the deeds makes things very difficult as ultimately, you can't force him to sell it.

It really will all come down to the legal document you've signed. You say 'if anything happen', the money would be returned to you. I expect that's not the exact wording. Do you have the document with you? What does it say exactly?

The only way you'll be able to secure this money is by taking him to court assuming the terms of this legal document means that he has to pay you back now. Doing so will cost you.