How would you help a homeless couple - advice pls!

[honkersbonkers]

Hi all,

When I was coming back from an appointment an event on Sunday evening with my kids they noticed a homeless couple sitting outside the train station in the freezing cold. It was snowing as well.

My daughter in particular was very distressed to see this (she's 9) and asked if they had somewhere to go that night. I said I didn't know but I hoped they did because it was so cold. She kept asking me to turn back and help them etc and was only satisfied when I said that I would speak to them the next day and find out if they had somewhere to sleep at night.

So I said I would (I pass them quite often on the way to work). On Monday I spoke to the man and he told me they sleep in a tent at night and they have no joy getting a place with the council. He is not young and says he has a heart condition. I gave him £20 for a hostel that night as it was fooking freezing that day.

Anyway, my daughter has asked me to help them (with tears in her eyes! )😅and I have said that I would but now I need your advice about how to help. How can I help them get somewhere to live? We are in north London.

I'm not sure how things work but have you tried asking Shelter for advice? They might know.

You can let www.streetlink.org.uk online. They then alert the local homelessness charities etc to find them to offer shelter/support. There’s an option to get an update for yourself too

It's highly unlikely that the 20 would go to a hostel. Where I live, and I work in the sector, you need to be referred to a hostel by another agency and no payment is needed. They should have been able to get a SWEP ( several weather) place if it's been really cold where you are as well.

Definitely call or contact streetlink to let them know where this couple are. There are just too many homeless people about and its very very sad.

You don't know the circumstances of this couple. They could be addicts, or perhaps already had a council property and were evicted, etc. Imo the best you can do is to refer them to a homeless charity and make a donation to the charity if you feel inclined to do so.

I asked him if they anyone advocating for them and he said streetlink had given them support but they need somewhere to live that is more than 1 night. Just doing some research this afternoon, it sounds so complicated, even for me, how you get in hostels with referrals etc.

I know we have a variety of experts on Mumsnet so I am hoping the answer will be revealed!

What if I was able to get a deposit together for rented accommodation. Could they then apply for housing benefit?

Just exploring the options!

This is going to sound harsh but seriously don’t get involved on this level. If streetlink can’t help them then there is likely more to this. You know nothing about this couple and why they are homeless. Are they addicts? If you get a deposit together for a flat who is going to be liable if they are not responsible/don’t pay the bills etc?

If the homeless charities won’t give them space for the night there is a reason for that.

I know you want to do right by this couple, but homelessness is very complex and is best left to the experts, especially when you have people out there telling you they need money etc.

They may not even be homeless.

Op the lady who sits in doorways begging on my way to work is DEFINITELY not homeless. I know this for certain. I also know that the money she gets doesnt go towards hostels.

Its very very complex. Even if theyre genuine a deposit wont necessarily help them get AND KEEP a place

I would only try to source help through agencies, charities and organisations. You don't know the individuals backgrounds, essentially they are strangers and this should be made clear to your LO.

Maybe it's best to do something which would help benefit a charity for homelessness, thus still helping, but not putting yourself in a potentially vulnerable position.

I think if you want to help them personally, then start small. Something to eat? A new rucksack? Offer to wash clothes? Street homeless often have complex needs and I think it's unlikely that you are going to solve their housing problems.

Maybe it's best to do something which would help benefit a charity for homelessness, thus still helping, but not putting yourself in a potentially vulnerable position.

This!
I dont personally support shelter because they treated me so badly when I stopped my direct debit in order to keep a roof over OUR heads, but do support our local shelter and ask them what things they need most.

They can make an application to the local authority as homeless with no accommodation available to them. It very much depends upon where their last settled accommodation was and when, and why they left it. They also need to be a priority need. Some health conditions may mean they are a priority need. There is help available via Shelter or the local law centre or CAB. It may be that settled accommodation doesn't suit them. If your daughter wants to help, buying them a hot drink and a hot meal, paninni or something once a week or so, along those lines will probably be welcome and make her feel she is contributing without getting too involved.

I hear you, I am taking everything in, and I am not being naive, I realise that all may not be as it seems and I am sure there are complex issues involved. I am going to find out a bit more about them. I do agree it is best to go through the correct channels but it might be they lack the ways and means to go through these channels with the rigour that is required. I am quite prepared to write letters to the council and/or our MP.

Look, it may seem idealistic and I know that there are lots of homeless people and they are just 2 people, and I am just 1 person, but I told my daughter I would try, and try I must.

I do hear what you guys are saying though.

There are actually already people who help with benefits assessments and help with letters.

They know what theyre doing and you dont.

I dont think youre doing this for the right reasons as this is all about your dd not the couple (who you were aware of before she got upset about).

If you really want to help, support existing support agencies.

You can do more harm than good if you think you can do a better job than people who do this all the time

Op doesn't think she can do a better job, she is just doing what most of us do when we see people who look in need, and wanting to help. As I said I work in the sector and am very hardened and cynical but I still feel desperately sad when I see rough sleepers on the streets

Op doesn't think she can do a better job, she is just doing what most of us do when we see people who look in need

But she doesnt want to join/support any existing outreach programs/groups.

@SpringHen I meant the couple may lack the rigour not the agencies and organisations, of course they know best.

I will think about your point as to whether I am doing this for the right reasons. I highlighted the effect on my dd only because it showed me that we should all be a bit more upset about this problem, it's really awful.

I think that you should set up a regular donation to a homeless charity rather than try to help this particular couple, and explain why to your daughter.

@SpringHen I have used streetlink as well

You could let your daughter do a regular supermarket shop for a few items she thinks would be particularly useful for the local food bank. Or ask your local homeless shelter what they need and take a suitable item to them.