How much surplus spending money is enough?

[RonBurgundyspanpipe]

We are a family of 2 adults, 2 tweens with a joint income of 5k. We're looking to move home and upsize so trying to work out how big a mortgage we could comfortably afford. At the moment the surplus money after food, bills, kids activities and savings is a sticking point between dh and I. This is the money for treats, eating out, birthday presents, the odd day out, clothes, hairdressers etc...

So, how much do you think would be enough to support a non-extravagant but comfortable lifestyle?

5k a month?

Have you written down all the you currently spend to see where the money actually goes?

Yes sorry 5k a month. We have looked at all the bills and money that has to be allocated each month for petrol and food etc. We've also set a minimum saving amount which leaves us with money to pay the mortgage and then random expenses like treats, birthday presents, fun things, one-offs. I just wondered how much would be considered a normal amount for this sort of spending based upon our income without having to dip into savings very often.

Well, I've no idea as we've never had an income that high, but it is going to depend on what you normally spend on things like birthday presents, isn't it?
If the tradition in your family is to spend £10 - £15 per person on a birthday present and same on a Christmas, then you count the people you buy for, do a quick multiplication and the divide by 12. If your tradition is to spend £80 per person, then same maths, but the amount is going to be a lot bigger.
Same with eating out..... do you normally eat out once a month, once a week, once a year ? when you go, do you nip out to the 2-4-1 local pub on 'special offer night' and spend

I see what you mean backforgood. It's so hard to judge as we are living on a really tight budget at the moment to save up to move so we don't do much more than the odd takeaway and a bit of high street/ASDA George clothes shopping when needed, birthdays are normally £20 per person.

I guess when we move the budget can be relaxed a little, we just can't agree on how much is enough. We've been trying to add up the little things that eat into the budget but aren't so easy to account for and don't happen regularly like school trips, minor repairs etc.. but it's difficult.

Should say, we're happy to continue high street shopping, tea at Nando's etc... nothing extravagant. We just want a bit more freedom to perhaps do it more often or throw in a trip out once a month.

You need to write down where your money is going, OP. Track every penny you spend.

Have you tried YNAB? It's a piece if software (You Need A Budget), which might help you figure this out. If you hunt about online you can dig up a free three month trial, it's certain helped me focus my mind on this question!

It sounds like a the budget would need to be considerable if you count in repairs or school trips. Along with clothes, hairdressers, dentists, kids activities, meals out etc

To pluck a random figure out of thin air, how about 1k? £200 towards repairs and things and then £200/person to cover clothes, hair, activities etc.

This is a bit 'how long is a piece of string' I think.

DH and I earn just over £4K net. We have pets (our pet insurance is rather eye watering) but don't smoke or drink so they're probably our main increased cost that not everyone has. Our mortgage is, IMO, eye watering. It's £1350 a month. We are 26 and 29 so hopefully earnings will increase, and our mortgage is currently over 22.5 years. I didn't trust us to take 35 years and overpay to be done in 25, but depending on what interest rates end up at, it's possible we might do this just to give us more breathing space if we decide to start trying for a baby anytime soon.

I reallyyyyyy don't like YNAB. It just didn't feel user friendly to me. I am an accountant (industry though!) and prefer a big old spreadsheet. We have one joint account, three savings accounts and a Monzo account each. Monzo we put £100 on each card each month and that's our coffees/individual treat type things when we're out and about. Everything else comes from the joint account. So I export those transactions every month into Excel, and then I pivot them up. I have direct debits on one tab, and everything else on another. For us, DDs capture most of the 'non negotiable' spends eg. Bills, and the more variable ones like fuel/groceries/eating out are captured on the second tab.

Theoretically we have nearly £1k left a month after groceries/pet food/travel, but it's surprising how easy it is for that to disappear! This has turned into a mammoth essay and I don't think this is even what you were asking for

Also, not sure if you have pensions but if you don't perhaps have a look at LISAs. I have a good public sector pension (DH's is pants) but we aren't in a place to do a LISA right now as we need access to our savings. We are planning to speak to an IFA about our best option for DH though.