Can someone talk to me about debt please.

[Pleasedontjudgeme]

I got married very young at 18, basically trying to escape a situation at home and by 21 was married with two kids.
The marriage was awful and abusive, although not physically it did come very close to it and exh has been violent to other partners since.
After the kids came alone Exh used to constantly walk in and out of jobs lying that he had been laid off and all kinds when he didn't feel like working but kicked off if he didn't get the item he wanted. As a result we ended up in massive debt as I was unable to sustain everyone on my own and unable to claim any help.

We owed money EVERYWHERE, so much that I don't even know half of it. Exh has never worked since and I have paid thousands off.

I've been on my own with the kids for several years and managed up to date with my own stuff but the historical debt occasionally pops up unexpectedly. I've tried looking what some of it is but most of it has dropped from my file.

If I get a letter I contact them and sort a payment, if ex gets a letter he has an absolute fit at me.

Some stuff that has been popping up has been things like council tax which I'm aware could end very badly. I have always tried to clear but I have major health issues as does one of my children.
When bailiffs get involved including for council tax they always ask for way more than I can afford.

I will be honest it has led to me questioning my mental health. It's a horrible way to live and I don't know where to start.

But if the creditor has been sending regular statements and getting them to the OP's registered address, even if she binned them, the debt is enforcable.

This 6 year myth is very dangerous and lands people in trouble.

That is why I say talk to Stepchange and let them deal.

There is indeed some bad information on this thread.

Op are the debts in question things like credit cards, overdrafts, store cards? These types of debt (unsecured) are NOT the same as mortgages.

I dont think anyone suggested that the 'six year rule' applies to mortgages! That doesn't make it a 'myth'. Unsecured debts, like those types listed above, become unenforceable in court six years after they were last acknowledged. Acknowledged means a payment being made or any communication in which the debtor recognises that they owe the money. After those six years have passed, the debts will no longer show on your credit file - this only goes back six years. It's not that the debts don't exist - they do. But a creditor can no longer get the courts to enforce the debts. Whether you 'have to' pay them depends on your point of view. Some would say you have a moral obligation. Some would say if the creditor can no longer take any action to harm you (further damage your credit rating, enforce the debt in court) then you'd be an absolute fool to pay them anything.

Op it really matters what type of debts they were. It's great that you're dealing with the council tax one. Do not make any other payments to anyone FOR NOW until you establish what the full situation is. Don't take any phone calls - communication with creditors should be done in writing, always. Please look at the other forum I suggested if you haven't already. There is a lot of misinformation and half correct statements here. Knowledge truly is power in this situation. Don't take what you read in their letters as statements of absolute truth. Please educate yourself. If these are all old debts, nothing more or worse is going to come of taking a little time to read up on the law.