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Original poster

I need partner to help financially

39 replies

Paradise114 · 27/02/2018 07:52

Hi guys
My partner stays with me 4 days a week and I don't ask him for anything all I ask is he pay for some meat over the weekend as he's a big guy and does a lot of sports so he eats a lot. But this isn't good enough as time has gone by he is actually making things difficult on me. I'm a single mum and work full time yet I'm still struggling money wise.

I just want him to chip in more, sometimes when I ask him to buy the meat I feel like he looks a bit put out and it's making me so angry he lives with his brother and best friend and I've seen him buy shopping for their house hold but he's with me more out of the week! The other day he said he forgot his wallet when we went shopping and he was buying his weekly lunch shop so I paid for it. He said "it's only 15 pounds" and didn't pay me back.
It might only be 15 pounds to him but that's gas money for a week for me especially since he knows the financial difficulty I'm in right now! I'm so fed up but I feel horrible to talk about it. Baring in mind he has his own business but yet tells me he's broke! Urgh please some input ??

OP posts:
gamerchick · 27/02/2018 09:58

Tell him you’re skint, can’t afford to feed him and you want him to pay you back the money he owes you to put the gas on.

Or send your kids to their dads if possible. Don’t put the gas on, tell him you’re skint and freeze him out.

When he buggers off home because it’s too cold at yours then you’ll know he’s a cocklodger and hopefully see the light.

PersianCatLady · 27/02/2018 10:07

I have a feeling that the OP won't be back

LondonHereICome · 27/02/2018 10:19

Me too

The truth hurts!!

expatinscotland · 27/02/2018 10:21

'I have a feeling that the OP won't be back'

No, she won't, because we're all meanies for pointing out that a person who takes money from a single parent and her/his kids (despite knowing she is in financial difficulty) is a twat. Someone who is loving and supportive wouldn't dream of cocklodging with someone they know to be struggling. He buys the foodshop for his flat/housemates because they won't put up with his bullshit.

PersianCatLady · 27/02/2018 10:28

I have a feeling that the OP must claim some benefits.

Having an overnight guest stay 4 nights out of 7 would be classed as a couple.

The potential consequences for the OP if a neighbour decides to report her for benefit fraud are huge.

Her LL might not take too kindly to finding that he has another person living in their property.

I wonder how her kids feel about this greedy taker stealing their food, heating and mother's time??

gamerchick · 27/02/2018 10:49

Having an overnight guest stay 4 nights out of 7 would be classed as a couple.

The overnight thing is a myth. Putting money into the household is where you get into dodgy ground benefit wise. He has his own pad his paper trail leads him too.

PersianCatLady · 27/02/2018 11:33

The overnight thing is a myth
It isn't.

Current DWP guidance is that a regular guest who stays more than 2 out of every 7 nights may be considered to be a partner.

This was taken from a DWP manual used in advice centres.

Unfortunately I no longer have access to the physical manual as I don't volunteer there any more (becoming a teacher in September) but I am going to trawl my PC to see if I have a reference to its actual name.

PersianCatLady · 27/02/2018 11:37

Gamerchick
Strictly speaking, you are right no number of nights makes them a couple but our ADVICE (using manual for advice centres) was that if someone is staying there that often then they will usually be deemed a couple.

At the end of the day, this bloke is taking the piss out of the OP and rather than accept that when it is said by many PPs, she gets angry because she can't handle the truth.

stayathomegardener · 27/02/2018 16:06

I think it's sad you would rather lash out at posters trying to help you than call your financial drain of a boyfriend ( your description not mine) out. Hmm

MaidenMotherCrone · 27/02/2018 16:19

I'd say ' Barry, I'm really struggling to afford day to day things. You live here most of the time, please will you start contributing. I cannot manage to feed us all and pay all the bills on the money I have coming in'.

If he isn't happy to do so at least you know where to start.

PS Don't call him BarryWink

NerrSnerr · 27/02/2018 16:34

Maiden unless he’s actually called Barry, then it’s fine.

Ivebeenaroundtheblock · 27/02/2018 16:34

OP needs to sort her own budget, he isn’t using heat, unlikely extra electric because he’s around maybe hot water if he showers.
Extra food yes, I get that.
Still I’d start by doing a list of incoming and outgoing expenses.
She might be surprised to find out she’s skint with or without him.

Viviennemary · 27/02/2018 17:35

He is thoughtless. Just ask him outright for the money. It's hard to train a thoughtless and not very generous person to think of others.

JoJoSM2 · 27/02/2018 18:28

He mostly lives at yours so he should be contributing to the household- not just his own food!

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