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Original poster

The big benefits headache

103 replies

Headisspinning · 04/02/2018 18:42

Can anyone help me? I'm hoping to have my first child, but I have a problem. My husband and I are not rich people, we both work 40hours a week. My job doesn't allow for jobshare/or pt hours or any of that, it's 40 hours or nothing, so I want to choose nothing and spend my time for a few years being with my child and not working. I'm stumped with working out how much we would get helpwise on benefits. I've tried the govt calculators and I'm even more stumped Confused. My husband would continue in his job, so we wouldn't be entirely reliant on benefits. My other main issue is, despite as I say we are not rich, we do own our house outright, and we have savings that put us above 20k. This is money saved for varying things, including things like the boiler dying, any major expenses, a car (as my 15 year old car may not be ideal) and general rainy day stuff. I know our savings sound like a lot, but we've both worked since 16 and we are now both late 30s... and weve saved hard . My best guesstimate on the govt sites gave me £20.70 for child benefit and no other help. If this is the case then we can't afford to run the house on my husband's wage alone. I'm literally crying at the moment because i feel so overwhelmed and may have to give up on my baby dream because we can't afford it Sad. Please don't say well £20k is loads of money because that's our basic retirement fund too, as the people's pension and state pension are never going to be enough for us. I'm not the live for today sort of person, I'm a squirreler who worries about tomorrow, and I don't want us to be in a situation where we struggle for basics. Can anyone help me understand what we would get? I can provide figures on dm (if that's a thing on here I've no idea I just joined) for anyone who knows what they are doing, because I sure dont...

OP posts:
blurredlines · 04/02/2018 21:08

You will find a way. People do and your in great position compared to most ( with your savings and owning your home ).

Plenty of parents I know work evenings and / or weekends due to childcare.

HopelesslydevotedtoGu · 04/02/2018 21:16

It sounds like you can have a child but you may not be able to be a sahm as long as you wish to, unless you decide to use your savings towards this.

Which is sad for you, but I think not having a wanted baby would be far worse than having to return to work sooner than you would like, or having to build up your savings again.

You will get smp during maternity leave, and your employer may have an additional occupational maternity package. At the end of mat leave if you can't make the Sums work you might have to go back to work then, unless you decide to use some savings to stay off work.

I know several mums who have gone back full time at 9 or 12 months and, whilst some of them were sad about it, I'm sure they are ultimately happier to have had their child! And obviously some chose to go back full time. I know some older friends who returned full time at 3 months, which sounds nuts now, but they all managed it and their children grew up happy. Your ideal may be sahm but please don't be all or nothing about it.

You could also use some of your savings to stay off a bit longer, plenty of people do, and a perfectly reasonable decision if you think that is important for baby. (Although your current employment would only be held for 12 months so would need to find a new job afterwards).

You talk a lot about saving for retirement, which of course is admirable and sensible, but in no way would I prioritise retirement saving over becoming a parent. We do have plenty of savings, but I would give them up in a heart beat if needed to have our dc, even if it meant a poor retirement. If you use some of these savings to have time off work, you can build them up again later when your DC is older and you are back at work.

SingaSong12 · 04/02/2018 21:30

I volunteer at CAB. To check what's happening with UC you can put in postcode in link below. It is based on which jobcemtre covers your area and in full service areas there are extra rules if you have three children:
"Families with three or more children making a new benefit claim are an exception to this rule. They can continue to make new claims for existing benefits and tax credits until at least February 2019."

According to entitledto government plans roll out to whole U.K. by Dec 2018, but that has slipped in the past.
ucpostcode.entitledto.co.uk/ucdate

CazY777 · 04/02/2018 21:32

I think you are worrying too much OP. You would have more than enough money to cover your bills, you could even make them cheaper - unless you have a big garden that needs watering get a water metre fitted, we pay around £25 a month now for water and sewerage (2 adults and a 3 year old in a 3 bed semi). Switch your energy supplier, we only pay £62 a month for gas and electric. You might get council tax reduction, you might still be able to get tax credits (not if you are in a full service area for Universal credit). You will get child benefit. Babies and toddlers are not that expensive, second hand stuff is cheap and hardly used most of the time. People give you things, family buy you stuff. Buy nappies from Aldi or Lidl (as good as pampers in my experience), breastfeed, make purees at home and then after that they eat what you eat (hopefully!).
I would worry more about being isolated without a car or on a bus route, it can get really lonely on maternity leave or as a SAHM, being able to meet friends or go to playgroups has been important to me.

backaftera2yearbreak · 04/02/2018 21:37

Anything over 16k means you get no means tested benefits. So no council tax reduction. That much I can tell you. I’m not overly familiar with universal credit yet. You don’t pay into the system to get money out of it when you fancy it. You get money out if you need it.

CazY777 · 04/02/2018 21:41

Really? We still got a reduction when my husband earned £22,000.

Babyroobs · 04/02/2018 21:42

backafter - that is not strictly true- you get benefits not if you need them but if you meet the conditions. You can still get tax credits even if you have savings and no housing costs as long as you earn a low enough wage. So someone in op's situation may not need it but could still claim. we have a lot of savings and no mortgage but if one of us lost our job tomorrow we could claim tax credits. Whether we would or not is a different matter.

Omgineedanamechange · 04/02/2018 21:43

130 council tax, 110 gas and electric, water and sewerage rates are 60

gas/elec water and council tax alone are 460

I think you should use some of your £20000 savings to buy a new calculator.

gamerchick · 04/02/2018 21:47

Maybe instead of stressing about benefits which tbf are going to inflict a fair bit of pain on people soon. Why don’t you prepare for a baby with a new savings account for that very purpose. Save as much as your salary as you can and cut back now to get you used to going to one income.

You can’t tell thme benefits people that you have 20k saved fo x,y and z purpose. It doesn’t work like that. If it’s for a pension then put it into a pension.

Save now, baby later.

gamerchick · 04/02/2018 21:48

That’s assuming this is a real post and not a goady one.

randomuntrainedcuntowner · 04/02/2018 21:54

If you want to give up your job to have children and you can't survive on one wage, then don't have children. I went back to work full time when my daughter was 9 months and have worked full time ever since, and since becoming a single parent when she was 3 I have no choice. Staying at home to look after a child is priveledge for those who can afford it and not a right that should be paid for by taxpayers like myself. Get a new job where you can work part time, or go back to work full time and suck it up and pay for childcare like the rest of us.

GreenTulips · 04/02/2018 21:56

Staying at home to look after a child is priveledge

Why do we accept this? I know it's a privalidge but it shouldn't be! What has this country become?

GreenTulips · 04/02/2018 21:57

By that I mean we need to pay a living wage - not claiming benifits

randomuntrainedcuntowner · 04/02/2018 21:57

Most people have "worked and paid in", it's what you're supposed to do! You will get free healthcare to have your child, free nurseries, free schools, and when you're elderly and infirm you'll get social care, free prescriptions and a state pension. I can't afford to be a stay at home Mum, so I don't see why you should expect to.

BrownTurkey · 04/02/2018 22:03

It's a luxury for most to not work in the early years now. Maybe figure out a part time option or both of you working flexibly.

randomuntrainedcuntowner · 04/02/2018 22:04

Actually you couldn't pay me to stay home and look after a child because frankly I would rather not be dependent on the state or a man financially. And in countries where this is the norm the women don't have a very good deal. You could move to one of those countries and see how you fare?

YellowMakesMeSmile · 04/02/2018 22:04

You do realise that paying tax isn't a saving scheme and unless you've not been to school, the doctors and are having a private birth and maternity care then you have already had plenty from the system.

What you want is to not work, keep the same standard of living and keep your savings intact rather than return to work or work around your partner. If everybody thought the same there would be no benefits left for those unable to work for genuine reasons rather than just not wanting too.

rogue8 · 04/02/2018 23:04

DH was made redundant when I was on ML with DC1 and we certainly didn’t have £20k savings. His statutory redundancy pay was £9k which would have lasted us less than 6 mths! I went back to work early out of necessity since we still had a mortgage to pay (£850 pcm at the time). You do what you need to do.

You don’t know what’s round the corner. If you’re in your late 30’s now, I would get on with ttc your first child.

Blankscreen · 05/02/2018 07:21

Why don't you go back to work and your husband look after the baby.

You can afford to do it that way round.

pigshavecurlytails · 05/02/2018 10:47

your husband is quite a low earner - what do you earn? maybe he should be at home if you want a parent at home long term. many people can't afford a stay at home parent these days.

Leatherboundanddown · 05/02/2018 12:37

It sounds as if you have plenty to cover your outgoings on his wage alone. What do you bring in net per month? Why not start saving this whole amount now into the bank and living off his wage only?

Even if you fell pregnant today that would give you 9 paydays of savings which would easily cover you for a very comfortable year off and probably enough for driving lessons too.

I really think you should learn to drive, you will be so isolated with baby if you can't. I didn't pass until my daughter was 4 and those early years were HARD trust me. It just gives you so many more options, work wise too.

Other things to consider: you say you can't go pt in your role. Do you enjoy it so much you don't want to leave? Could DH go pt instead? Who earns more?

What most people I know ended up doing (myself included) was getting a very part time job in evenings/weekends when dh is able to stay home with baby as otherwise childcare costs massively outstrip earnings. There are ways, it is never easy but if you are late 30s you should really go for it now.

DailyMailareDicks · 05/02/2018 12:44

I used our savings to buy a new and bigger car (had a battered old corsa) that was more suitable and reliable for the baby. I then used remaining savings to 'top up' SMP so that I could take a full 12 months off. Then I went back to work. A full time nursery place cost more than our mortgage, but working FT left us £300 better off per month.

Use your savings, that's what everyone else does.

Jodie567 · 05/02/2018 22:52

Wow most people would love to have 20K sitting in their bank! I understand fully that you want to spend the first few years at home let's be honest most parents do!
Speaking for myself here but we had to save from me to stay home to look after our daughter and when the pot was dry I was back to work. As wrong as it is when people haven't worked a day in their life there family is government funded but unfortunately being a normal hard working person means funding yourself! You have plenty of time to save for a pension and plenty of time to have children! I don't understand how you are struggling so much currently as from what I've read it sounds like your in a amazing position most couples would love to be in!
Mortage free in your 30's is amazing! So well done there! But honestly I think your worrying far too much about using your savings....

Use your savings and enjoy an amazing few years with your wonderful family!

sst1234 · 25/02/2018 22:25

Working part time could be a compromise.

MyBrilliantDisguise · 25/02/2018 22:36

I worked it out you'd be entitled to £53.49 child tax credits, just £1 working tax credits and £20.70 per week, so about £75 pw.

For those who seem to be criticising the OP for having savings and wanting tax credits, she could've spent those savings on holidays and would have nothing at all - would that suit you better?