Who will love your children..........................................

[stoppinattwo]

Am in the process of re writing my will............and getting DP to do his.

I want to include a part about if something should happen to both me and DP. I know a solicitor can tell me the jargon, but practically how you decided who will be responsible for your DC's and where they would live?

When ours gets here if anything did happen it would probably be one of our parents.
We are probably not going to get them christened, (DH isn't, i am) So no godparents. Going to let them choose.

you can specify a legal guardian in the will.

It is a good idea to make someone else either jointly or wholly repsonsible for any money that is left for the children too - so that there has to be agreement on what is reasonable to spend. Also consider how much financial support the guardian is likely to need looking after your kids as well - eg bigger house car etc - and don't tie all the capital up in a trust until they are 21 if that means they and the guardian may be really financially strapped just surviving until that time.

Obviously discuss it with your proposed guardian before hand - make sure they are willing to take on all the kids together. Make sure they consider the reality - not just the emotional tie.

Also maybe think about a backup guardian - in the event that at the time the original one can't take them for whatever reason.

thankyou both, throckenholt..........some really good ideas there, I was thinking of asking my sister. She has 6 children and a huge house and she has already asked me to be her childrens legal guardian shared with her eldest child who is 28yo. (her childresn ages range from 28 down to 3!!)

I love her approach to chldren, and she is fantastic with budgeting, she and her husband still both work full time but i will discuss the money side with her, althoug my children love the house they are in i feel that if they shoudl ever have to this would be the move they would be most comfortable with.

As far as sharing the decision making, I would also ask my sons godfather.......he too is someone i trust to do the right thing and someone who my sister gets on well with. I couldnt leave the responsibility with just one , i think it would be a big burden??

My best friend is named as my dc guardian in my will should something happen to both of us, with my parents as "back ups".

Age is a factor for me, too, plus I would prefer the grandparent relationship remained if they had no parents.

My brother would be in financial control.

It all sounds a bit complicated, but they all have good relationships with each other, and I believe they would care for my children in the best way possible should it become necessary.

I don't know, I really don't know, have thought about it and done nothing about getting it sorted as I just don't know. My Mum isn't in the best of health, would never trust my Dad with them, my brother is a selfish git and we aren't actually really on speaking terms at the moment. DH's family are weird and we never see them, my children don't know who they are.

I've come to the conclusion that I would like my friend to have them but it's such a big thing I don't want to ask.