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We are F+++++d.... Long - sorry

19 replies

MoreSpamThanGlam · 29/04/2007 15:07

I dont even know where to start. But here goes..

3 years ago we had our own small business, we had loans and ccs. I was ALWAYS on top of what we owed (personally), how it was paid, when it was due etc. After a dispute with this woman at work I told dh to get on with it himself (ther she goes or I do). From then on things went very downhill.

I was always promised money for this and that but things got really out of control and eventually our company folded.

We have HUGE personal debts, many in my name only.

My DH set up again with a successful friend of ours. We were given barely enough to cover the mortgage, let alone everything else. Suffice to say we are very behind with a very dubious mortgage company in an interest only mortgage that is up to the hilt. Our redemption period ends in June, but with our record I cant see how we are going to get another mortgage. Added to the fact that we are almost in negative equity....

We were swimming along, when all of a sudden dhs partner says that the business cannot sustain our salary and for the good of the company we have to take a paycut, which effectively means we pay the mortgage and NOTHING ELSE. The partner has another business that manages to pay him £15k a MONTH, as it is very successful.

Our income is nothing like our expenditure, but tbh I dont know what to do next.

Our mortgage is set at a ridiculous rate (Im too to tell you how bad it is.

My DH just seems to be wandering around making one serious finacial mistake after another, with a do it later attitude.

Neither of us are sleeping and I have really severe PND and just want to, well I just cant stand feeling like this.

My DH is in such denial, and thinks that if he pays a bit of a bill he is a clever boy and should get a pat on the back. I cant make him listen to me, and I am exhausted trying.

3 years we have been going through this and I have had enough...

Please someone - tell me where to start.

OP posts:
Overrun · 29/04/2007 15:09

Sorry no legal expertise, but wanted to bump it for you.
Why is a lot of things in your name only btw?

MoreSpamThanGlam · 29/04/2007 15:14

Because DH was so bloody irresponsible and never paid on time, even though he was earning when we first got together a considerable amount more than me.

I was always a regular (if small amount) payer. he would just sling all his bills in a pile and sort them out at will...

OP posts:
fannyannie · 29/04/2007 15:21

I'll tell you where to start CAB first thing in the morning.

MoreSpamThanGlam · 29/04/2007 15:24

Done that - just a blank look (too confusing for her I think) and a suggestion of bankruptcy...

Heres another thing to throw in - dhs brother has offered to give dh early inheritance from parents house (his brother is laoded BTW). I think we should hold off, but he wants the money and thinks will solve all, but I see it as using a plaster to cover a severed arm.

OP posts:
MoreSpamThanGlam · 29/04/2007 15:25

Can you get another mortgage if you are bankrupt? what if I make myself bakrupt? Or wait til we make an attempt at remortgaging...?

OP posts:
Overrun · 29/04/2007 15:26

Um, if this money just bleeds out as you suggest, I tend to agree with you, but if it is enough to make a difference wouldn't it be better to at least have some money coming in?

lulumama · 29/04/2007 15:29

CAB

debt counsellor

IVA might be the way to go

better than being bled dry by a dodgy mortgage company

are you getting help with the PND?

fussymummy · 29/04/2007 15:34

You need to get help with your PND as these problems certainly won't help you feel any better.

Maybe taking some of the inheritance will help you.

Think about it seriously. Maybe you could clear his debts in your name?

That'd make you feel a whole lot better to start with.

MoreSpamThanGlam · 29/04/2007 16:12

Debt counsellor - where to find one!!??

Are all these debt companies dodgy?

PND is dreadful, but getting better.

PND doc suggested Lithium! Not going down that route...

OP posts:
charmedhay · 29/04/2007 16:38

Couldn't you put debts in his name only and IVA him and leave you with a clear rating so to speak and you could try to get a better morgage rate? I think you should get PND sorted out,things seem millions worse when your depressed! Good luck.Had similar thing happen but DH had crap load of debt from ex w and he sort off added to it till he asked me to help him sort it !! Still paying it off but the national debt is getting slightly smaller

Zog · 29/04/2007 16:45

try this for starters plus have a search on the site for articles dealing with debt management

HTH

lulumama · 29/04/2007 17:03

there are many ADs that are good for severe PND, IMO and IME

effexor being the one that worked best for me

look at the moneysupermarket website and the motley fool website , and alos the CAB can advise re a reliable debt counsellor

MoreSpamThanGlam · 29/04/2007 17:11

Thanks for advice. Am so sad. its too big and I have no fight left in me. I give up.

OP posts:
lulumama · 29/04/2007 17:20

it is shit, isn't it

PND bad enough without the financial mess

there will be a way out, and if you can get to CAB first thing tomorrow, then you will start on the road to getting sorted

can DH come with, surely he must realise that things are serious if you can only cover your mortgage and nothing else

you know, a lot of mortgage companies will give you 3 months respite if you are in dire straits, it is worth asking, if you are paying exorbitant interest, then it is in their interestes to keep you as a customer, no?

sell everything that you can sell, shop at lidl, and beg and borrow from friends and family in the meantime

this might be a good wake up call for DH

the business partner sounds like a selfish twunt, 'i'm ok mate, sod you', so DH better off leaving, getting a different job..he should send his CV to every recruitment agency he can and get on fish4jobs tonight

call all your creditors and explain, and get to teh CAB x

CarGirl · 29/04/2007 17:24

If things are really really dire perhaps you could go bankrupt/do a VIA thingy and then borrow from the inheritence to put down deposit etc on a nice rented place. Owning your own home isn't everything. Think you really do need specialist advice though, do not take out more debt to try and get above water it sounds like you are beyond that.

LIZS · 29/04/2007 17:39

Sorry to hear you are struggling . How about giving these people a call . It is a charity rather than a comapny with a hidden agenda.

MoreSpamThanGlam · 29/04/2007 18:11

Great website will call them in the morning. Thank you x

OP posts:
MoreSpamThanGlam · 29/04/2007 18:13

lulu

Have already done all that is suggested, wear 2nd hand clothes/shop at netto, ebay the living daylights out of myself, but just finding this really hard. Have trod water for 3 years and still 3 steps backwards...

OP posts:
fussymummy · 29/04/2007 22:28

What area do you live in?

Would be easier to help you find a local debt advisor?

Forget the lithium for PND, haven't heard good results.

Could you sell up and rent?

Would that be possible?

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