Help Please!!!...Reasonable Contact???

[YumMumFatBum]

Please Mumsnetters can you help?

My ex partner is threatening legal action because he says I am being unreasonable over contact with our 7 month old daughter.

I told him he could come round and see her for 2 hours everyday but he can't take her to his flat because he doesn't come round to our house till approx 6.30pm cos he works late (I don't want her to leave the house on a weekday because I don't want her routine disrupted and I don't want her out late at night) and that he could have her stay over at his place for 1 night at the weekend.

Am I being unreasonable?
I've done nothing but worry for the past few weeks.

He is being a rather large member.

Let him take legan action. His contact will be a damn sight less than he gets now - maybe 2 hours twice a week and no overnights for a baby so young. And will give you a smug sense of 'told you so' to boot.

he's being an idiot and probably knows it, it is not unreasonable to want a child of her age to have a settled routine because that is what they really need. what time does he see her each day

I don't agree titchy, why would the court grant him less than the mum wants him to have? She is happy for him to have parental contact

YMFB - you sound reasonable here, little one is young. Perhaps you can say to him that you can both reassess as she gets older. I would suggest you talk him out of legal action as the only winners here are the lawyers who make money of you.

good luck!

Thanks for the support everyone!

He only sees her for an hour everyday at the mo, and he takes her out for a couple of hours at the weekend, but he doesn't have her overnight yet.

I think he's still very angry over the break up and just wants to hurt me the only way he can, through our daughter.

He hasn't quite accepted that its over and that I won't take him back.
He hit me, an instant deal-breaker for me.

Hayes if she's happy with current access that's fine. I meant the court wouldn't increase it above what it is now but would agree that a few hours a week is reasonable and anything over and above that is by mutual agreement. He seesm to want more than he gets now which he wouldn't if it went to court.

ok Titch

we should applaud the guy for actually standing up and saying her wants to see the little one....hope it keeps up! BUT he should not be using her as a bargaining tool. This guy is so in the wrong

Thanks again for putting my mind at rest.

I knew he'd get angry when I didn't do what he wanted.
I can understand him wanting to have some quality time with dd without feeling like its a supervised visit, but I just don't think its right that a 7 month old baby should be out till around 8.30-9pm at night.
Its always about him and what he wants, he never puts dd's needs first.

He still treats her like a newborn, it didn't matter so much then cos she slept all the time anyway.
And because she has a routine he says I'm force-feeding her, he thinks she should cry first to let me know when she's hungry.
He also wants her to fall asleep in his arms like she used to, but she needs her own bed.

The trouble is he only wants to spend time with her when its suits him.
I used to get so angry when we lived together that I always had to prompt him to pick her up or to play with her.
When I was on maternity leave and had spent all day with dd on my own, he never helped me out with her when he came in from work.