If we're so skint how come one of us can buy Stella Artois?

[ExtraPineappleExtraHam]

I'm having a shitty month. That awful festive season has left me short so I've
1.) told my colleagues I'm on the 5:2 so they don't ask why I'm not eating lunch.
2.) got a wonga loan to pay the nursery fees
3.) borrowed off everyone going
4.) sold out Hoover and dd's toy pram to pay for groceries
5.) had my card declined at Tesco when trying to buy a chicken for tea.
Yet my partner can buy for Stella's because it's Friday night. Meanwhile we've all had to go vegan until payday!

Why isn't he chipping in?

He needs to be helping, how can he see you sell your children’s toys to buy food but go and buy alcohol?
I feel for you, but get that wonga loan sorted ASAP, speak to your bank if needs be

YANBU. Stella is horrid stuff anyway.

Sorry you're having a difficult time. Will you be able to pay off the Wonga loan before huge interest kicks in?

Sell something of his.

To be fair to him he doesn't know I sold the pram and she doesn't play with it but how does he think we're surviving? He earns £900 a month working full time and I work part time, something like Xmas just completely blows our budget but I'm definitely going to be careful next year. Hope to pay the wonga on payday. Bank have given me enough chances they say and they don't give a shit about small fish like me.

To be fair to him he doesn't know I sold the pram and she doesn't play with it but how does he think we're surviving?

Hmm, maybe because you haven told him how bad things are!! Is he supposed to be psychic? Do you have a joint account? Why does he not know what’s in the account and what it’s budgetted for? Don’t you talk to him?

but how does he think we're surviving?

If you’re selling stuff and getting wonga loans in secret he probably thinks you’re surviving on the money you get.

YOh need to tell him that your outgoings are more than you get then sit down and do a proper budget

You must be entitled to benefits with such low wages. Make sure you apply.

For now though - talk to him my dh doesn't check the joint account and would just buy stuff if i didnt say 'we need to watch what we spend, we're really skint this month. Please don't buy crap'

Do your outgoings regularly exceed your income? Is there anything you can cut back on? For Christmas next year why not save in advance. I save with Park and put a small amount aside each month and it is paid up by October. The vouchers can’t be spend everywhere but it does mean I don’t worry where Christmas money is coming from.

He knows about the loans. He just says I should I have been more careful at Christmas. The presents that we both wrapped, that were for his family as well as mine. I am going to save for next year but we're so close to buying our house, everything is very strained at the moment. It will be worth it in a few years but so tough right now.

Do the bank know about the payday loans? That could affect your mortgage application.

Maybe you could start saving even a tenner a week towards this Christmas to stop this happening again. Lots of great advice from other posters though and I agree that buying the Stella is totally unacceptable given the circumstances.

Next Christmas do not buy anything for his family.

Does he always behave this way around money? You said partner, are you married? I would not buy a house with someone with his attitude to the family money.

stop all christmas and present buying. Wonga costs a fortune. Park prey on people like you and are not without risk.

frankly there is no reason that tatmas should cost more unless you wasted money on presents, tat, excess food and booze. It is all totally optional.

your stella-swilling 'partner' is a separate issue.

Why did you spend what you don't have?

That is crazy, you have left yourselves with not enough money for food.

Start thinking about how this situation can be avoided next year op. If your partner is part of the issue then consider what to do about it.

I'm sorry , I hope this year improves for you.

So you don't even know how you are going to pay your payday loan when it is due.

I hate so it but there is know way on earth earning what you do now being able to buy a house. Both of you need to get better paid or more hour jobs.

Another saying you need to be careful with a wings loan and a finance application. Just seen it happen to a friend.

But you do need to talk to him and tell him exactly how much you are in the s**t. Then you need to sit down and budget properly for the next few months, or you will pay off the wing loan and up taking another immediately to cover the shortfall. It's a never ending circle.

I fail to see how you think you will be buying a house when you can't even afford lunch payday loans will leave you with only subprime lenders to choose from which will make the house even more unaffordable. How about doing the 1p challenge, 1p for every day of the year in a jar adds up to over £600 by the end of the year, and for the first three months it's only pennies you're putting in.

What specialsubject said. It's so sad that families plunge themselves into debt and financial hardship over Christmas. Growing up we got one "big present" and a couple of little ones, not much money was spent and I honestly never felt hard done by. Adults didn't really get each other gifts and now that we're all adults we either set a £10 budget or agree to give each other something homemade. Christmas to me is about family time, not the presents and as adults your DPs family should understand this too. As others have said too avoid Park, if they ever go bust (like that other company did a few years ago) then you'll lose everything you've put in. Honestly OP, Christmas isn't worth this.