How should we manage money with second baby

[witheringnights]

Hi, I have no idea how to fairly manage money now I’m on maternity leave with our second baby. First time round, we had moved into my flat, and I just seemed to manage as normal until the last three months when OH paid my mortgage.
This time round, new house and much higher mortgage and I have much lower savings to rely on.
So... is the right thing for us to both use savings to try to get through, or should I ask OH to pay more as he’s still earning? At the moment we still pay roughly equally into a joint account. He maybe pays £1,500 to my £1,200 each month, but then I tend to buy all the baby stuff myself.

To add, we’re not in the best place at the moment- I’m putting it down to sleep deprivation- so I want to be able to raise the subject in a positive way.

All opinions welcome!
Thanks.

All money into joint account. All house, child, food, bills stuff comes out of that account. You both take the same amount out and out in your own accounts for personal spending (hair dresser, hobbies etc)

I would pool everything. They're his children and your supposed to be a couple.

If you aren't married, get it done. You are financially dependent.

Sounds like you're finding his kids. As a joint undertaking a reassessment seems due. Everything has changed, you need to recalibrate.

Our wages get paid into our own accounts and the majority gets transferred to a joint account to pay all bills/ shopping etc. The rest is for buying coffees, stamps etc. I’m on maternity leave and just gone to £0 pay so his wages are covering everything.

Everything that pays for your joint life together, including EVERYTHING for the children paid for jointly from joint funds. No random bits and bobs coming out of your own personal spends.

My fiance and I have this arrangement for our cats, let alone any children we might share, and we're jointly saving for income top up during parental leave.

Why is your DH not paying 100% whilst you aren’t working. Are savings joint - if not why are you using your savings and not his?

Thanks everyone. We're not married, but I did see another post the other day where EVERYONE recommended to the poster getting married. It's so tricky, we got together late ish in life (34) so are both used to independently funding ourselves, and we didn't really need to think about it. It's only now I'm starting to worry about the next few months that I'm trying to work out how to raise subject and not be unreasonable. So it's really helpful to get others' perspectives. I think I'll suggest we both put some of our savings into joint account, and then when that's used up, he funds until I go back to work.
I think this might be part of the 'mental load' that can fall unevenly on women 🙄
Mind you, I can hear our two year old having a total meltdown in the bedroom which he's trying to deal with. So it's not all on me. 😄

Get married. I didn't get with my dh until I was 35. Married at 37. Then I became a trailing spouse. Had a baby at 40 and became a SAHM. No way I'd have done the last 2 things if we weren't married.

He is still economically active. You are not. You seem very keen to be fair to him, but not fair to you!

Perhaps he's a decent man. They do exist. It possibly hasn't really occurred to him that things need to change. Approach him like he's a reasonable human being. After all if you left him, he'd being paying.

Just wanted to say thank you again to everyone!
We’ve had a really good chat and we’re both going to put an equal amount from our (separate) savings into our joint account, he’ll keep the regular payments in but I’ll stop (as no income until back to work) and then when it runs out he’ll cover.

Totally should have had this conversation three years ago 🙄

The way we worked things when I went on maternity leave with our first was that he paid for the house and bills apart from food and with my SMP I paid for food and my car and phone, it carried on like this and when I went back to work (4 days reduces from 5) I also pay for childcare and everything for our daughter. We’re now expecting our second and will carry on like this as it seems to suits us both. I usually save every month for any bigger things needed for the house and holidays.