Me and DH are writing a will - what to do about guardianship of DS???????

[Taylormama]

Me and DH are finally writing a will - if the worst should happen and DS is orphaned (can hardly bear to even write that) i want DS to live with my parents for lots of reasons - how can this be incorporated into a will and also do it so DH isn't offended that i don't want him to live with his mum ...

As part of the will you specify who you want to have guardianship. If you are doing this through a lawyer you need to speak to them about it.

There are lots of things to thing about such as who the money will go to. We left some of ours in trust for ds but also left quite a chunk directly to my sister (who is named as the guardian for ds in the event of dh and I both dying). Our reasoning for leaving money directly to my sister and not just in trust for ds was that she would likely need more money as a result of taking care of ds so we wanted her to have it.

Also if we trust her to look after ds in the event of our death then we certainly trust her to use the money responsibly.

As for what your dhthinks/want you need to have an open honest discussion about it. You need to tell him your reasons as calmly and logically as possible and you may find he agrees. If not then you need to listen to his reasons and try and reach a compromise decision.

In the end you both have to agree as you both are the parents and you both have to sign the will.

There has been a recent thread with some useful info here

Message withdrawn

thanks - will speak to DH ...

1. What happens to children on the death of a

parent? The answer to this depends on your particular circumstances and the plans that you have put in place. If there is no surviving parent with ?parental responsibility? (see below), and no appointment of a guardian has been made, then the child becomes the responsibility of the Court. Until such time as the Court appoints a guardian, the child may be taken into care. In contrast, if a guardian has been appointed, then responsibility for the child?s care passes on the second parent?s death to that guardian. The guardian is likely to be a person known to the child or perhaps someone such as a step-parent who has been living with the child.

1. Appointing

i wwas told that the prob wiht naming is that the relationship with the named person often is weaker by the time the peron dies. SO its best just to let close family know of your wishes so if things change your guradian can change accordingly/

sorry

took this passage from

www.henmans.co.uk/images/Guardianship_2.pdf

if you dont choose a guardian yourself then the courts will do it and you may not like their choice. also you could find in laws fighting about guadianship which again may make you unhappy

cripes - it is all a bit of a minefield isn't it? Thanks for all the info/links ...