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Original poster

Frustrated at being poor!

38 replies

BubblesPip · 02/10/2017 12:10

I'm a single mum of a year old, no support from the Dad. I'm a nurse and currently work 3 nights a fortnight as that's all I can do due to childcare (rely heavily on my mum). I cant afford nursery and it's pointless anyway as most work for nurses is 8 til 8, not 9-5.
I'm just here to rant really as I'm fed up of being poor, yet not being able to work.
I've even considered dog sitting, for a little extra pocket money. I have about £50 for the month to feed us both. It's so tough being a single parent.

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 02/10/2017 12:15

Have you tried to seek any maintenance from him?

Caulkheadupnorf · 02/10/2017 12:20

This may not work for you, but I have just come out of hospital and was talking to the nurses there. Some were doing bank shifts on top of their normal shifts as bank shifts could be shorter and fit in amongst other commitments. This may not happen in most trusts but is there an opportunity for something like this to fit in around some nursery hours? Esp if you can use a hospital nursery so travel times are shorter.

JoJoSM2 · 02/10/2017 12:26

That sounds really sucky. I do feel for you

Original poster
BubblesPip · 02/10/2017 12:51

I've gone through the CMS, but he seems to know every way possible to avoid paying so I've given up. He's not a big earner at all though, so even if I did fight for it it'd hardly be worth the effort.
I do try to do some agency/bank shifts but you usually have to agree there and then (or within a short time frame) and the time it takes to make sure childcare is available, I've usually missed out on the shift 😢
It's such a frustrating situation, especially when I have friends who have chosen not to work, get everything paid for and seem to have pretty good standards of living too.

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 02/10/2017 13:40

They won’t get more money than you will they ?

You are claiming tax credits/hb/childbenefit?

LaurieFairyCake · 02/10/2017 13:53

They won’t get more money than you will they ?

You are claiming tax credits/hb/childbenefit?

Original poster
BubblesPip · 02/10/2017 14:36

I'm not entitled to hb as I own my own home (big mortgage) but a tiny two bed terraced. I also only get £250 tax credits

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 02/10/2017 16:12

I would have thought you would get quite a decent wage form 3 nights per fortnight + enhancements + tax credits = child benefit. the problem here is your big mortgage . Could you speak to your lender to see if the loan could be spread over more years thus reducing payments whilst your child is small. once your child turns 3 you will get 30 hours of free childcare per week which should mean you can pick up more bank work.

LaurieFairyCake · 02/10/2017 16:27

Have you applied for income support? Plus council tax reduction as you’re on your own.

It might be cheaper to sell and rent if you were to get housing benefit then Sad

JoJoSM2 · 02/10/2017 16:28

A slightly off-topic suggestion, would you consider being a nanny? Some jobs are available to people bringing their own child along and some parents might appreciate your nursing background.

RandomMess · 02/10/2017 16:43

Share a room and rent the other one out?

Babyroobs · 02/10/2017 21:51

Laurie - you can't get income support when you work !

WiseDad · 02/10/2017 21:56

No suggestions from me but a big :-) for working and trying to make it despite the absent support. Heart warming to know you are trying your best despite the issues. You deserve to succeed. Good luck.

chocdog · 02/10/2017 22:02

That sounds really tough. Those night shifts must be knackering with a one year old to care for. Respect.
If you like dogs and live in an area with well-off people, dog sitting and walking can pay well.

LaurieFairyCake · 02/10/2017 22:41

You can BabyRoobs Smile

I don’t know if her hours are less than 16 a week (with 3 night shifts a fortnight it’s possible) - but you can still at least apply even if it’s over 16 hours a week.

Babyroobs · 02/10/2017 22:49

If working over 16 hours a week as a lone parent then you claim working tax credits which it sounds like op is already doing.

Babyroobs · 02/10/2017 22:54

Laurie - surely to claim Income support whilst working you would have to earn under a certain income which if a qualified Nurse op would be unlikely to as it is a pretty well paid occupation especially with night shift enhancements ( assuming NHS). basing it on my wages as a band 5 nurse I would estimate around £900 a month wages and pay no income tax.

sweetkitty · 02/10/2017 22:54

What about ironing? You could do it round naps/bedtimes? A friend does itand earn a fair bit

Babyroobs · 02/10/2017 23:07

I wouldn't give up your Nursing . if you take any significant time out then it is hard to get back into it, you need to do a return to nursing course which is not easy as not everywhere offers them. A Nursing qualification always bring you a good income in the long run and there are numerous opportunities which will be easier to take up as your child gets older. The problem is that even if you give up for a year or two it will be hard to revalidate as you need to meet the hours requirements.

littlepinkgiraffe · 02/10/2017 23:13

Not sure how much you earn but it may be worth looking into the early funding for 2 year olds. If you're on a low income you can get some hours of free childcare when they turn 2.

Kaykee · 03/10/2017 18:02

Agreed nursing is a great career but if you're a single parent with little support then shifts are tricky. Could you try to move into primary care more of a Practise nurse type job (I'm a paeds nurse so would be school nurse or hv which doesn't really appeal so wouldn't blame you if not)
I work 18.75 hours per week one long 12 hour and a short shift per week, with 4 kids I scrape by, I can't do extra as I have childcare for what I do and no more and no family etc to help out so I constantly worry that the kids will need new shoes or the car will break down not a nice way to live but no choice
Hope things get better for you x

Bluntness100 · 03/10/2017 18:12

Op, what about something where you cOuld work and look after your child. If you own your own home, would being a child minder work?

Original poster
BubblesPip · 03/10/2017 18:22

Thank you for your lovely comments and suggestions. Does anyone know how you go about getting the free 15 hours childcare and what the criteria is? That would help out massively. At least then I could sleep after a night shift Grin
I don't know about child minding, I have a tiny house and a dog, don't know if that'd make it impossible?
Also renting a room out would be a bit weird Blush I can't imagine sharing my space!
I know this is only a very short period of time whilst LO is so tiny, but it's demoralising Sad

OP posts:
littlepinkgiraffe · 03/10/2017 22:59

www.gov.uk/help-with-childcare-costs/free-childcare-2-year-olds-benefits

Looks like you can claim if you receive UC, income support or tax credits and have an income of under £16,190 before tax.

beckythomas · 04/10/2017 06:43

That is really tough and I really feel for you. Try few online jobs or try selling on eBay. Perhaps that can get you some extra income. You could sublet your apartment or share house with any of your friends.