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how much on anniversary present?

6 replies

febel · 06/09/2017 19:26

Can I ask how much people spend on an anniversary gift for their parents?
My mum and dad have never made a big thing of it, until their 50th, where my brother and I sent them to the Ritz for afternoon tea. i have usually bought a bottle of wine /flowers etc. My brother contacted e asking to go halves on a present £25 each. i don't normally spend this much...am I being tight? I don't mind spending that much and worried now I should have been...over the years. Brother is better off than us as they both work full time and both jobs are well paid. He also has had, and always has, more help with his 3 children off our parents...child care etc mainly because he lives 10-15 minutes away and I live across town (20 mins tops) and also cos my my mum was at work part time when I had my kids (she has retired now) I am not bothered about this...it is the way it is, circumstances have meant I worked school hours in education (cos couldn't afford the child care...left me out of pocket) but that was my choice really. I would say he is more of a spender than me...but earns more to fund that.
So...should I be spending a lot more? In my family it is thought rather than money. He now says he's sorted his present as I didn't seem keen, leaving me with no present and not sure what to get or how much to spend! ARghh!!

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LeChatSauvage · 06/09/2017 19:37

It all depends - firstly, perhaps, on your income. I'm sure your parents wouldn't want you to impoverish yourself!

I could tell you how much I spend, but everyone's context is different. It will also depend year to year.

This year my sibling and I paid for two nights away and it came to about £150. She's much better off than me. But I wanted to treat them.

Ecureuil · 06/09/2017 19:41

I've never bought my parents an anniversary present...

Spam88 · 06/09/2017 20:09

I don't get my parents anything...

NerrSnerr · 06/09/2017 20:22

I don't get my parents an anniversary card or present. I only do cards and gifts for my own anniversary.

BrucesTooth · 06/09/2017 20:26

Also don't get mine anything. I don't even know when it is, but then I think anniversaries are a personal thing to the couple and wouldn't want/expect anyone else to know/care. Maybe for a big one though if it was mentioned.

febel · 07/09/2017 13:22

Thank you...have gone for planted pot and wine...feel bad if sister gets stuff and I don't..and I know it's NOT a competition but I would still feel guilty...and have been made to feel guilty by brother cos I don't spend a lot. It's not a special anniversay, and although we are comfortable we have extra expense of mother in law's care home at moment until we sell her house...which isn't looking likely at the moment.
Like many of you, we don't go big on anniversaries and it's only recently we have got our parents even a card...and it just seems to be growing. DH says it's society today..all spend spend. I do treat them and go out with them throughout the year when working hours allow....to me it's not money but time and company which are valuable. But perhaps I'm old fashioned....

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