Money when moving in together

[pullingmyhairout1]

I am buying a house in my sole name and putting in all the deposit, etc.

I have 2 children who are coming with me, and oh has 1 that he will pay maintenance for.

I will lose all tax credits when we move in together partly due to a change in salary (better paid job) and reduction in childcare (better hours) and finally because oh will be bringing money in.

My oh is currently paying all bills on another property which he will cease doing when he moves in.

We both earn roughly the same salaries (or will be when we move in together).

How do we split this? I don't feel it's fair to go 50% of mortgage, utilities and childcare but if I don't do that I will be in negative figures every month. I know he'll be reasonable no matter what, and the only reason we've not talked about this yet is because we're in a long distance relationship and we've both been so manic with work lately that we've not had the chance to sit and talk face to face about anything.

What are your thoughts?

We pooled all our money when DH and I moved in together, because we saw it as making a new family, and wanted all money to be family money. I lost all my tax credits and child benefit as his income was high. But the house was in DH's name and he supplied the full deposit. It's really important to make time to sit down and talk about it before moving in and it should take a bigger priority than work, because it has more potential to screw up your lives.

I know you're right about sorting it before moving in. We will have the opportunity to do so but just not had the chance yet. Really just wanted an idea of fair. Pooling the income sounds like a plan with an even split of disposable.

Personally I'd say all bills (including your childcare and his child maintenance payments) to come out of pooled income, then equal amounts of personal spending money.

Thanks ladies. I wasn't sure what to suggest.

Well. Ended up having the chat today by phone which was less than ideal and was initially stressful (money is always emotive) but we figured it so we're both happy now.

Now all I have to do is keep my fingers crossed the house goes through ok.