Child maintenance question!

[Robbie82]

Hi , I just wondered if anyone has been in a similar situation and can offer some advice please!

I've been apart from my ex for around 6 years now and have a son who stays with us both 7 nights over a fortnight.

I pay child support to her which is almost triple what the csa calculator advises plus his childcare costs after school in full and have gone halfs on clothing and all other costs as well as private medical care.

I also do all the travel when taking him to/picking him up from his mums.

I'm feeling like I need to reduce this now as am starting to struggle a bit and need to take a bit more control of my money, particularly as I have a partner and another wee boy now to care for.

My ex receives the government child benefit and works ft, not sure about any tax credits although did get them when she was part time.

I feel like really as we each have him half we should pay half each but I'm happy to continue helping until thats possible (or not) but definitely need to reduce my own outgoings.

I guess I'm just wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation and wondering what they view as fair as I find it such a grey area in terms of the csa calculator.

Thanks in advance for any advice !

Firstly, forget the CSA/CMS calculator.
It doesn't necessarily reflect the cost of raising a child.
Certainly don't go throwing around "well I don't have to pay..." when you raise it with her

There is a reason that you agreed to the amount you did, so that sounds like you felt it was fair at the time.

You don't have to pay maintenance in a 50/50 care situation. But - forget the law and concentrate on fairness (and to be fair, in a divorce situation the reason agreements are quite varied is because they're trying to be fair)

It sounds like you earn a lot more than your ex. In my find, it's fair to pay over and above what is legally required if you can afford it and if her lower earnings were as a result of your joint decisions. e.g. Sounds like she worked part time to care for your son when he was younger - don't underestimate the potential long term effect on her earnings of that.

Work out what you think is fair, and what you can afford. Tell her that you need to look at reducing support because your circumstances have changed - but that you don't expect that to change in the next

Hard to say - XH and I have 50:50 care and pay no maintenance but split bills (inc. private school) down the middle as when we separated we had roughly same income. If he said he needed to cut back I would expect a sensible discussion and reasonable time frame. He has more disposable income than me now as I have another child so occasionally he pays for more and I'll do contribute more of my share in her upbringing with my time by having her during 'his time' so he can work extra.

If you have him half the time I'm not sure why you pay maintainence as surely your costs for him are the same? As long as any big outlays like school trips / uniform etc are split in half then that should be enough.

Fantastic, thanks for that , really useful to get other perspectives.

We do split all costs on top of what i pay regularly.

Also, I do earn more though not by a massive amount so just going to need to be a case of sitting down and looking at the situation now compared to when we first split.

Many thanks for taking the time to reply