Please help re contact

[anonsinglemum]

I'm sat here crying my eyes out I'm so mad and upset. My child has contact with their father who abused me when we were together, I am required to do the drop-off, collecting and talk to him during dropping off and collecting. Apparently I am not co-operating, basically because I don't want to talk to someone who I hate for what he put me and my child through. Can anyone tell me what the basic rules are for contact, ie in the eyes of the law should I be expected to do all this co-operating. I have now basically been warned that residency could be transferred as I am not cooperating.
Thanks in advance

who has told you this? if you have not had him convicted of the abuse then the court probably wont take much notice as so many people lie about this stuff. however i dont saee why you have to talk to him and it seems rather unfair that you do all the running. do you have a contact order? if you are not happy with the terms then you need to apply to court to have them amended. if you really cannot face seeing him then what about sending a friend to drop off/pick up? i dont talk to my ex at all, we communicate in writing and the court has never seen this as an issue

Its my solicitor who has told me this. No the abuse wasn't reported, it was mainly emotional abuse, very controlling etc and I didn't see it until we split up. I'm just fed up with the lies that are being told about me to the court and the court just believes him and completely disregards everything I say. I've accepted that he has the right to contact and I have not stopped contact from going ahead, despite my many concerns for my child. I have tried sending someone else to this the drop off etc as I feel it would be in my child's best interest not to see my reactions to my ex, but have been ordered to take him myself.
I have set up a meeting with my solicitor just wanted some facts to go armed with iyswim.

I don't believe a solicitor can order you to do anything you feel uncomfortable with.
As long as the contact takes place I can't see how it can matter who does the dropping off etc.

What about ring CAB and see if they can advise you.

who has ordered you to do this? agree a solicitor cannot order you to do anything, they work for you and can offer advise but its up to you if you take it. i cant see it doing you or your child any good if you argue every time you see each other. if you are not happy with the advice you have been given it might be worth seeing another solicitor

btw it always feels like the court believes everything the other side say, try to not let it get to you. i know thats easier said than done but there isnt much else you can do about it

I find it very hard to believe that a court would stipulate on a contact order that any specified person must do the dropping off and collecting (unless that person is being specified to avoid the parents actually meeting).

Are you sure you've understood this properly? Also, it is rare that one party will be ordered to do both trips, i.e. dropping off and collecting, unless their are very cogent reasons for this - such as one parent being house-bound or something.