Mesher Order and taking on the mortgage

[YumMama]

Hi Can anyone help me at all.Im very confused. I am separated from my partner and after trying to sell the family home it looks like the best option is to stay put at the moment and apply for a Mesher Order. I would like to know peoples experences and how their situations ended up and can I feel with this myself rather that going to solicitors or court. Thank you so much x

The downside of a Mesher is that it is always hanging over you. If you meet someone else you know that if you want to live with them or get married, you'll have to come up with a lump sum to buy the ex out, or sell the house. If it's you staying in the house & him waiting for the money, he could be looking over your shoulder, waiting for someone to move in with you, pestering you for his money.
If that doesn't happen, you still have to find the money or sell up once the dc are older, then start again. That could leave you struggling financially in a few years, maybe not able to get a mortgage & having to rent which would use up your share of the money from the sale.
The plus side is you get to stay in the house while the dc grow up. If there's no way to buy him out now it gives the dc some security for a few years.
Can you afford the mortgage? Is there anyone who could help you raise a lump sum to buy him out sooner, get a clean break?

Just realised, you said partner. Are you married?

Hi, Yum, I had a Mesher order. I felt it was the best way at the time to make sure that there was stability for the DC and myself, as there was no way I could buy my ex out, nor afford a mortgage on my own. Fast forward a few years, the DC are grown and I still cannot afford to buy him out or buy a property by myself. (I am not a big earner and I spent a chunk of time out of the workforce looking after family.) In our case I think it has caused a lot of resentment on both sides and I actually wish I had bitten the bullet and moved at the time of the split and got it over with. Instead it has hung over me and I was never quite sure what was going to happen and neither of us were able to plan properly. I am now having to move to a smaller property in a much more 'affordable' area. I would think very hard before using the Mesher order. I certainly would not consider managing without a solicitor, although court can be avoided in both sides are willing to work together for a fair solution. Hth.

Thank you both of you for your advice. We arnt married, I know there are differences but does it make any difference with a Mesher?

I can take on the mortgage just about but at the moment my children are my concern and I feel by staying here is the best thing for them at the moment. See there any situations where a Mesher wouldn't be granted? My ex claims he earns a very low wage because he is self employed but I obviously know what he earns . Thank you so much it feels such a relief being able to ask questions on here. X

Mesher is an order that can be made in divorce proceedings. If you're not married it's totally different. Has he moved out already?

You can try mediation to see if you can agree on what should happen. You can just stay there & do nothing, at least for now but in the longer term something will have to be sorted out. Is he happy for you & the children to stay there or will he put pressure on you to buy him out or sell?
Ideally you need to get some legal advice to look at your options.