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Original poster

Dh wants to retire early

113 replies

ginorwine · 11/08/2017 19:56

Dh is a public services senior manager - he is 58 and exhausted . He wants to retire in march next year after over 30 years of service and paying into pension it will be 18 k per annum .
I work part time and he may do somethkng . When he retires we may be in a new area so nether of us would have jobs initially - in fact they are hard to get in the area we may go to .
So my question is is 18 k enough to live on ? No mortgage but normal bill s such as life insurance , council tax , etc . We may need to run two cars due to remote area / in case we have a job each .
We are currently on 60 k joint income but are supporting two at uni so this will be a big change and I wonder if anyone else done this ?

OP posts:
Original poster
ginorwine · 12/08/2017 20:51

And you Jaffa ! I'm concerned will have ill dh if he continues to put dc above all

OP posts:
Blossomdeary · 12/08/2017 20:54

My OH retired early through stress, and I did a huge career leap at 50 - both risky undertakings (and children were still at school), but we felt that you only get one life and to carry on grinding away at something you do not enjoy was daft. It has left us now with small pensions, but we do not lack for anything - except good health! - and that is another reason to do it: you do not know what is around the corner.

Original poster
ginorwine · 12/08/2017 20:55

Sometimes I do feel there is a bit of helicopter parebthbg . Life is about balannce and we need to look at dc dh and my need s
We have devoted Year s to dc and we are just trying to get healthy outcome for us as a couple also .

OP posts:
Original poster
ginorwine · 12/08/2017 20:56

Thankyou bloss

OP posts:
PattyPenguin · 12/08/2017 21:00

But gin, if I may ask an indelicate question, what year did you leave university?

It's quite likely that the situation then was very different from that facing those who graduated this year, never mind those leaving university in the future.

I sympathise with your situation, and for the sake of your husband's health, it's possible that he will have to retire anyway. This may leave your children struggling, but since they are younger and healthier, possibly this is just the way it will have to be.

BTW, I'm not suggesting that parents find jobs for their children, but I do know that some parents truly don't realise the situation their children will face, thinking all graduates walk into secure jobs immediately with good pay and/or good prospects. Those parents could do with finding out the realities.

Flowerpower321 · 12/08/2017 21:03

Patty- and those same adult children will be working for 50 years of their lives, not 15 or 30. And paying back fees, facing huge housing costs, no salary increases etc etc. Must be nice to be able to retire on a decent pension after only working for 30 years.

laughingclouds · 12/08/2017 21:06

I would have been appalled and mortified if my parents sacrificed their health and happiness on the assumption that they would need to financially support me after university. Yes, I've struggled - lived in grotty flat shares, worked a couple of jobs - but the only person who is responsible for me is me!

OP - I've seen several people work too long and unfortunately pass away mere months in to retirement. There's been some good advice here, the biggest thing is to do the MoneySavingExpert budget and figure out what's realistic. That'll show you whether what you need to give up is worth it to you.

hollytom · 12/08/2017 21:06

I see a lot of helicopter parenting! I am one of 5 children my parents couldn't afford to support us I had a part time job at university. We have all got good jobs now without financial support and got our own homes. I know things are a little different now in terms of housing but I really think one of the important jobs we do as parents is prepare our children to be independent.
After seeing my dad die 3 months into retirement I am determined that I will retire as soon as I can. money is not everything.

annandale · 12/08/2017 21:07

I think £18k is a pretty good pension - it's about what we should have, if I manage to work ft until 67, so a few 'ifs' there. I agree with those who say try living on that money plus work-related costs for three months but in general I would say do it. The sheer happiness of being out of a job you hate is worth hundreds a week, and believe me I know - we have been in every possible work and financial situation and have rarely regretted any of our numerous pay curse and readjustments. Welcome to your future Smile

BackforGood · 12/08/2017 22:01

Nobody is saying anyone has to support adult dc.
OP has asked the question 'Is £18K enough to live on'? Various people have said - well, have you thought about X,Y,Z.
OP didn't indicate in the first instance how keen she was to be shot of her dc. Many of us don't feel that way, so have replied, thinking about our relationships.

Viviennemary · 12/08/2017 22:06

I posted earlier. I think OP meant was one person's early retirement pension of £18K enough for a couple to live on. I assumed there was no other income or benefits coming in or help with council tax and so on. And run two cars. I think that would be very tight indeed.

Out2pasture · 13/08/2017 02:52

gin we paid off the children's student loans while we were in our final 10 years of work (obviously we had the children early enough in life). long term jobs and pension schemes like my husband and I have are very rare.
so we did what we could while we could.
we retired, moved, and downsized all within the same year.

mtfasuncion · 13/08/2017 21:14

@hollytom
Please do tell us more. I need a couple of hundred a month to go down to four days a week.

Zimmerzammerbangbang · 14/08/2017 07:53

This might just show my lack of knowledge about public sector pensions, but what happens if you survive your DH? What would you be entitled to after his death and would that be enough for you to live on alone?

Original poster
ginorwine · 14/08/2017 08:56

Zimmer I wd get 10 k pa

Plus our life insurance which I have no idea about - oops !!

OP posts:
tentative3 · 14/08/2017 18:46

I second those suggesting you reconsider the move. Services in rural areas can already be hit and miss, as you age, and if you already have poor health, isn't access to services likely to be more important?

The uni/children stuff is complex. I completely understand you wanting your own time now but the perspective of someone who went to uni when there were grants, and graduated when times were easier in terms of jobs, pension etc is perhaps not the same as someone currently at uni. Even if you aren't able to help at all (and that's fine) I'd certainly reconsider how you phrase it when talking to your kids!

Witsender · 14/08/2017 19:38

I don't think it classified as helicopter parenting to let kids come home after uni. The situation now is vastly different to the one when you will have left uni OP, and compared to many now, 30yrs is a short working life.

Original poster
ginorwine · 15/08/2017 19:44

I know what you mean
But I just want sone time with dh befure we get old . I feel is it too much to ask ? !

OP posts:
LadyLapsang · 15/08/2017 20:20

When you say your DH is exhausted, are there health issues he should address (weight, nutrition, alcohol, sleep etc. ) to up his energy levels? If he is a Civil Servant, perhaps he could apply for a career break or some unpaid special leave to have a break and then consider what next. It may be with a few months off he feels refreshed and realises there are things he enjoys about work. We are slightly younger than you but I know I would need a much higher income to enjoy myself in retirement. If he could keep going for a few more years, he would get tax relief for paying extra into his pension (40% if higher rate tax payer) and by doing this it would boost your income in retirement while also helping you assess whether you could live on that amount.

hollytom · 15/08/2017 20:56

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I would not recommend going it alone as if you make a mistake you could lose money. You need a bit of money to start off with.

RippleEffects · 15/08/2017 21:01

I knew that returning home wasn't really an option post uni. Times were different though as I had several bank accounts with £500 interest free overdrafts and all the banks seamed to offer low/ free interest £5k graduate loans.

I was fortunate to receive several job offers but it was also several months post finishing uni that money came in. I'd had to pay months deposit plus month in advance rent, got an old car and had basic living costs. I except that all those costs were mine, and paid them but was only able too because money was readily available. That access to money ment I was able to chose the job I wanted rather than snatch the first thing offered or take minimum wage roles just to make ends meet meaning I wouldn't have been able to get to interviews.

Do your DC have any small amounts of money squiralled away to see them through this period or access to money? Whilst I don't think its your responsibility to support and house them as adults, this final assistance post uni to independence could be a deffining one to miss.

Butterymuffin · 15/08/2017 21:07

It does make me think reading this thread: the expectation that parents will give considerable help to their 20something children while at university and then for some years afterwards can only really last for this generation, right? Because that generation by definition won't be able to do it for their kids, having been in need of financial help themselves till nigh on 30. Nor will they be able to retire or go part time to help their kids with childcare, as they won't be able to afford that either. The notion of parents as generous obligated benefactors in this way isn't going to endure.

Out2pasture · 16/08/2017 05:01

Except that they will inherit a large legacy once their parents pass.
www.google.ca/amp/business.financialpost.com/personal-finance/parents-will-pass-on-750-billion-to-kids-over-next-decade/wcm/8d39b0e2-e23b-4066-9241-9ffec1a5ae3a/amp
Canadian but this will happen everywhere.
As I said earlier we helped while we were still working, but both my parents are still alive. Anything they pass on to me I'll pass on to my children or grandchildren.

wannabestressfree · 16/08/2017 05:18

But are you the exception rather than the rule. I have three ds and am seriously ill. Single parent. I support ds1 at uni by shopping occasionally and the odd top up of rent and that's it. I don't have everlasting funds and certainly nothing to leave. I have already had one pension paid out and am waiting on another.
I do get the 'time to yourselves' but do we just get to abdicate responsibility in this day and age. Should you not wait?
Oh and I work full time!!!

PattyPenguin · 16/08/2017 09:13

Butterymuffin has a point. Millennials, those currently between 15 and 35, are the first generation who are currently worse off during their early years of employment than their parents' generation were. (See the Resolution Foundation report published last year.)

This is likely to continue. With wages stagnating, housing costs still rising, and the state retirement age rapidly approaching 70, it's quite possible that Millennials and subsequent generations will never be able to retire - they will have to try to find paid work which they are physically able to undertake until they are incapacitated.

The millennials' only hope is inheriting property from their older relatives, provided its equity hasn't been eaten up by care fees. This is one of the factors entrenching and worsening income and wealth inequality.