My DH often doesn't exercise judgement well when it comes to spending. A good idea turns quickly into a purchase and sometimes a subsequent purchase if the 1st item is unfit for purpose (because he buys rashly without checking requirements - we must have gotten through 4 kitchen bins in 4 years this way, the rest then get chucked). Or conversely he won't spend money when he should, so at the busiest time of my working year we moved house. A removal firm would have been worth their weight in gold and I was prepared to pay for one, especially having moved my dad in recent years. But DH insisted on moving us himself for our move. It took 6 weeks of runs in our small car, by the time the last item was in (3 bed house, garage, attic cellar etc). I was so upset and extremely stressed, not least because this then took up my my own significant extra time and effort. What I should have done is just pay for the removal firm.
Holidays are a sticking point. Generally I've paid for trips from savings as an adult before getting married. My husband however will buy / act first without adding up hidden costs, and I'm stressed and fed up experiencing the fallout from his actions. Either he won't take my views seriously, I'm not making myself heard enough or he'll get upset and only hear offense when I raise his irresponsibility.
This year he booked £200 cheap flights to France (family of 4 so £50 each) on the basis of a 10 euro a night 2 person caravan, planning to buy an additional tent for the teenagers once there. Not sounding like a holiday. Only after insisting on seeing the emails regarding this caravan and calling the site was it clear that this was all lost in translation. They were charging DH 10 euro to pitch up, not renting him a caravan, tent or other accommodation. Ended up in almost £1000 worth of airbnb accommodation with me picking up half the cost for something he committed to.
I told him today how surprised and unhappy I was with him banking on the caravan. I said that in my mind a trip to Europe for 4 is £100 a day minimum in my mind everything considered. If accommodation sounds too cheap it's probably not viable. All he could say is did I see his point of view with the emails when the woman gave the impression they had a caravan at that price. I said yes I see his view, but certainly don't share it. No pics, reservations, reviews, just a couple emails in broken English, which would not entice me to book flights as he did. We have another friend's child with us so feel especially responsible. What I should have done is reviewed accommodation and if we couldn't afford it cancel the trip and repay the other child's fare, would've been cheaper.
DH earns far more than me but has no savings. Even DSD said to me recently that if I hadn't come song they'd still be renting from his mother, in the flat above hers. He's already sorted out a second job to help pay for the expense. He's said that I can help him manage his money better, because I've reiterated it's not how much he has, but how he managed it. I've resisted because I'm his wife not his manager, but with a growing family me trusting him isn't enough. I'm thinking we both put aside money for savings defined for a purpose (house, holiday, mortgage overpayment, car etc), we already have put aside for bills and shopping and then literally put aside 'blow' money each every month. And I have to be watchful for not enabling/condoning poor spending choices. Hopefully that will reign in irresponsible spending.
What does anyone else do to ensure they're on a financial even keel on their marriage?