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Original poster

Am I crazy to think we could afford it?

24 replies

rainbowlaura · 14/07/2017 18:55

Hi everyone,

I know this is an age old question but it's been keeping me up at night recently, as I am now approaching 30.

Me and my partner feel so ready to start trying for a baby but have no idea how the finances would work. Currently, my husband brings in £1400 per month after deductions. The budget for all of our essential outgoings, from phone bills and mortgage to food and healthcare, is also £1400. My wages, which are a bit less, go on £800 of savings and then all the treats we enjoy, like meals out.

I spend a lot on petrol for work, at least £100 per month, so if I were to give up my job then we'd have £100 of my husbands pay check left per month. I'm not so worried about the maternity period as I feel that we could cope absolutely fine with a bit of maternity pay coming in. But after that (and I know I am probably being very unrealistic) I would love to not have to go back to work until it was time for the figurative child to go to school. It's not do-able is it? :( The other option is of course to go back to work, but I would really resent spending nearly all my wages on childcare when all I want is to look after the child myself :( It hardly seems worth it.

I know we would get about £20 per week child benefit. Unfortunately we would have been entitled to 2-300 per month in child tax credits, but under Universal Credit we'd get nothing at all. Whilst this disappoints me a lot and probably would have made the difference between my plan working and not, I do understand that if we want kids then we have to pay for them.

I'm just rambling really. Any thoughts from you wise mums would be so much appreciated x

OP posts:

Babyroobs · 14/07/2017 19:29

Why would you get nothing under UC- is it because of savings? You might still get help with childcare. I don't think many families have a stay at home parent these days as people just can't afford it. Or could you consider working around each other to save on childcare?

Original poster

rainbowlaura · 14/07/2017 21:13

Thanks for your reply Babyroobs. I'm not sure why we wouldn't qualify for UC, that's just what the online calculators tell me. The big problem is my husband's shift pattern - some weeks it can be 8-4 and others 1-9 and anything in between, so it would be really hard to work around it.

OP posts:

WinstonChurchill · 14/07/2017 21:53

This may not be of great help....but, my mother once said to me that the if I waited to become a mother myself till I could fully afford it, I may never be a mother. It's true. You can make it work whatever your circumstances, if it's what you want. However, realise that once that baby comes, everything will be about them and all of your money will go to support them!

Best of luck xx

TwigTheWonderKid · 14/07/2017 22:17

In my experience children don't really "cost" much until they are quite a bit older. Until then if you are prepared to buy second-hand etc then your major financial consideration is the loss of your salary. Presumably you could start saving 100% of your salary immediately which would give you a feel for managing the day to day stuff on your husband's income and start to give you a chunk of savings to help once you do have a baby?

I agree with WinstonChurchill's mum's advice. You never really feel financially ready for a baby so you might as well go for it!

DontMakeMeShushYou · 14/07/2017 22:29

Could you do a bit of work from home to boost your finances? Ironing lady or something like that?

How much would you need per month on top of your DP's wages to keep your finances on an even keel? Work that out and then times by the number of months you think you want at home (60?) and then get saving. That's what I did when I wanted a second baby and knew that I would have to subsidise childcare costs from my savings for 18 months.

Heratnumber7 · 14/07/2017 22:30

You'll save quite a bit by not going out when you have a baby 😕

Original poster

rainbowlaura · 14/07/2017 22:53

Thanks so much for all the replies, they are certainly making me feel more optimistic :)

I especially love your idea of ironing DontMakeMeShushYou, I hadn't thought of that. I'd considered Avon etc but wasn't sure about it - ironing lady sounds more viable! I will get thinking what else I could do as well.

TwigTheWonderKid, that is also a great idea about "pretending" that my own salary has stopped already. That will achieve two things in one by seeing what it's actually like and also having the extra in savings.

Thanks everyone. It helps just to say (type?!) it out loud as it's not something I feel I can discuss with my friends, and my husband thinks I'm over-thinking it

OP posts:

Bluntness100 · 14/07/2017 23:00

It's actually true that if you waited to have a baby till you could properly afford it, you'd never have kids.

You are a low income couple though, and I'm surprised you wouldn't get any benefits past child benefit, so stopping spending your salary and possibly about 100 of your husbands, ( food, nappies etc) and see how you feel would make sense.

Leatherboundanddown · 14/07/2017 23:20

I'm guessing it is your savings level that will mean you are entitled to no Universal Credit. Do you have over 16k in the bank? Are you saving for a deposit?

Original poster

rainbowlaura · 14/07/2017 23:42

Yeah we would qualify for a good amount of child tax credit, but our area will soon be under Universal which apparently we wouldn't qualify for at all :(
We have 20k in savings which is in case my husband lost his job, but I tried putting in 5k to see if it made a difference and still came out as £0!

OP posts:

Original poster

rainbowlaura · 14/07/2017 23:45

It's amazing really, we waited this long so that we had plenty of savings behind us yet little did we know, we should have gone for it at 25 and we'd have been sorted... :(

OP posts:

Rockchick1984 · 14/07/2017 23:56

Based on your husband's salary he's bringing in somewhere around £25k per year gross? The cut off for tax credits is a household income of £26k gross so unless you are both working and paying childcare costs you would have barely got anything anyway - if he is paying into a pension or anything then his gross annual could be higher. So the change to UC is not going to make a significant difference anyway.

Could you look at reducing your outgoings rather than trying to make extra money? Do you need to pay for private healthcare for example, could you cancel this? Reduce your monthly food budget? This will make far more of a difference than doing something like ironing.

Original poster

rainbowlaura · 15/07/2017 07:19

He earns just over 20k Rockchick. Our outgoings are already pretty tight to be honest, for example I have a gym membership that goes out of the "treats" money because I know it's not essential and will stop before we have children. Anything non-essential doesn't come out of the monthly buget. We could reduce the food budget but that will then be made up (and then some) with nappies etc.

OP posts:

BikeRunSki · 15/07/2017 07:28

There is another option... work part time. My

overmydeadbody · 15/07/2017 07:34

Why don't you use your savings? Isn't that what they are for? You could make 20k in do last about three or four years to sub your dhs income.

Original poster

rainbowlaura · 15/07/2017 07:46

BikeRunSki, I would be willing to if the cost of childcare wasn't so prohibitive. It looks like I would have hardly anything left to make it worthwhile :(

Overmydeadbody, we could do that, but then if my husband lost his job say three years down the line we'd be in a right mess. I will think about splitting the savings maybe, so we have some we don't touch but a pot to dip into.

OP posts:

metalmum15 · 15/07/2017 08:00

Could you work part time, and is there a family member who could look after the baby maybe one day a week? It could be worth looking into childminders as they're often cheaper than a nursery. I understand the money bit though, I gave up work entirely as my paltry wages wouldn't have anywhere near covered childcare costs. Initially having a baby is expensive, buying the big things like cot, pram, car seat etc, but there are plenty of decent bargains on sites like ebay. I also think you're very lucky (wise?!) With your savings. I honestly don't know anyone with children who has anywhere near that amount saved up in case of a job loss. You could definitely use some of that, and start putting aside your own wages too. It will all add up.

metalmum15 · 15/07/2017 08:00

PotteringAlong · 15/07/2017 08:07

If you work part time though you're playing the long game. Financially you might be where you are if you gave up work for 2 years BUT there's 30 free hours childcare when they're 3 and suddenly the future is financially a lot more rosy.

The one thing reading mumsnet will tell you is that there are not lots of jobs to slot back into when you want to work again. If you want to be a SAHM for the next 15+ years, fair enough. If you only want to do it for a short time I'd take a years maternity leave and work part time for future gains.

klaw87 · 15/07/2017 08:32

I agree that in some ways you'll just never have kids if you wait until you're completely ready, but it is great to try and be as prepared as you can - you've e got really healthy savings backing you which is fab, you'll find an option that suits one way or another!

Just throwing another idea out there - have you considered looking into being a childminder yourself? I'm currently pregnant with 1st and am trying to work out finances - I'd love to go back to work part time after a year as I love my job (in a school) but as we don't have any family that could look after dc I will be paying out for childcare - this will mean the majority of my wages will be spent so does seem a little pointless so I am considering childminding myself as it will mean I get to stay at home with dc and still earn money - even looking after one other child would enable me to stay home -either way I will be working with children so for me it's a win-win, it may not be something you'd like to do but thought I'd chuck the idea in :)

Ellisandra · 15/07/2017 08:34

It is very shortsighted to not work because your wages only cover childcare.

If you go back to work at 12 months, you are only 2 years away from 30 hours of funded childcare. You can also get tax relief on childcare immediately. If earnings = childcare you are only one promotion or job change away from earning more. You often have far more flexibility for part time in an existing role than another.

Go ahead and start a family, then go back to work - most families do. You can afford a child, you just can't afford to stay home for FIVE years! I think you should make your peace with that and go for it!

In the meantime, plan ahead - like your husband looking for more fixed hours so you can fit two jobs together more easily.

MaverickSnoopy · 15/07/2017 08:45

The living off savings idea is not a bad one and that can be subsidised by all sorts. My husband has income protection which pays out if he looses his job or has a long period of illness. Might that be worth thinking about?

I recently gave up my well paid full time job with great pension and benefits, for several reasons but largely due to the stress and wanting a better work life balance for me and my family. It meant that my husband was the only earner in an expensive part of the country. However we have savings which buffer things a bit. I have also taken time surveys (approx £20/month) and freelancing on people per hour which brings in as much effort as I put in. On average I tend to make £40/month with little effort. So that's £60/month with little effort. If I ramped it up in could make much more.

I won't be ramping it up because I've managed to find a job like gold dust wfh with an amazing work life balance. There are jobs out there.

For me it was having the courage to hand my notice in and trust that I could make it work. I would add that I started freelancing about three months before I handed my notice in, to build up some experience and clients. I'm still in the very early stages of it but will keep it going in the background.

I really think that if you put yourself out there you can make it work. Do you have a skill? Cake making, sewing, beauty therapy? There are lots of other things you could turn your hand to. I had an epiphany one day and realised that earning money was possible from sources other than full time work....

Original poster

rainbowlaura · 15/07/2017 09:44

Thank everyone, your replies are so helpful and have given me a lot to think about!

Child minding had crossed my mind, but my house is small and I'm not sure we'd have the space. It's a 3 bed 3 storey, so has the downstairs space of a 2 bed really. Maybe I could do it for one child or two, but definitely no more than that. Would that be worthwhile after the expenses that would come with being a child minder? I will have to look into what the figures might look like.

I don't really have any useful skills to be honest but maybe now is the time to start learning some! :)

OP posts:

klaw87 · 16/07/2017 00:53

To be honest I'm not 100% sure on what the expenses would be, and I haven't done the maths for taxes etc - I need to sit and work it all out at some point! I have a 2 bed terraced house so am also a bit concerned about space, but I know that childminders in my area earn about £55-70 a day, it is a fair bit of work as you need to be registered and inspected by ofsted now and have lots more paperwork than there used to be but it could potentially be worth it. I'm similar to you in that on dh basic salary we would cover all bills but there wouldn't be a lot of room for extras so anything I earn would cover that.

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