Child Maintenance

[user1498587375]

Hi All,

My Son's Father and I haven't been together for a few years. He stopped paying Child Maintenance about 4 years ago and I eventually contacted the Child Maintenance Service for assistance. They set up a collect and pay arrangement but payments have been intermittent and the CMS do not take action for months at a time. They did a deduction of earnings order at one point but then he changed his job and I haven't had any regular payments since.

Late payments always seem to coincide with my Son telling me his Father has bought a new car, a big screen TV, upgraded his bathroom, and been abroad for a (mutual) friends Stag weekend.

Now he has stopped paying altogether, and I haven't received any Child Maintenance payments for almost a year now. I work full time, do not live a frivolous lifestyle but I am struggling and the CMS is not doing enough to enforce action.

My dilemma is this:

My Son's Father has demanded he be allowed to take our Son on an expensive holiday. I said I would consider it, and asked that he give me advance notice of dates/location before booking, and pay half for his passport (it had expired). He said he would...but then he didn't. He now refuses to reimburse me and still demands I hand over the passport. He has said some really nasty things to our Son about me and given him the impression I have said he can't go on holiday with him for no good reason.

I am torn; my Son loves his Father and I am happy that he has two loving Parents. I don't want to deprive him (for no good reason) of a holiday whereby he'd make lifelong memories with his Father and that side of his family. However, this man has not financially supported his Son at all in a year, and paid little and not very often in the three years prior to that. His arrears are almost £2000, yet he is living well and booking holidays. We have a regular contact agreement in place, and I have never stopped this.

But I think he should reinstate his Child Maintenance payments and/or clear some of his arrears before booking such an extravagant holiday.

Can I have your views please? I appreciate your feedback

Many Thanks

I think he sounds like a total idiot and understand how frustrating it must be for you. However I think you should still let him go on the holiday, at least he is providing for your son in some small way even if he is not contributing to basics like food / clothing etc.
I can understand how annoying it is though that your son will see his dad as providing nice things/ treats whilst probably not appreciating that you pay for all the everyday stuff.
I think all you can do is badger the CMS to do everything they can to enforce his payments.
One day your son will be able to fully understand all the things you provided for him and see his dad for what he is.