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Original poster

Need advice for family member very seriously beaten by her 'dh' please

17 replies

changedforthis · 18/03/2007 19:37

She was subjected to a 1 hour constant beating whilst her toddler had been shut in the room next door.

Her whole body is black and blue, she has several broken bones (many in the face) and needed loads of stitches in the leg and head from a knife attack.

Our family and the policy eventually convinced her to make a statement by telling her he'd almost certainly be remanded in custody. She'd been terrified of doing this as he'd left her messages saying if she got anyone involved he would find her and finish her off.

Anyway, she got a call today from police saying he'd been arrested and released on bail until he appears in court in a couple of months .

She is now terrified and I think she feels everyone has lied to her just to get her to make the statement.

Does anyone know if this is normal practice for this sort of thing? Advice of any nature would be most appreciated.

OP posts:

Original poster

changedforthis · 18/03/2007 19:37

police

OP posts:

cece · 18/03/2007 19:38

Perhaps she shoudl go into a refuge as they ahve ways of making it hard for him to find her.

LilyLoo · 18/03/2007 19:39

OMG how terrible. Surely the police will put some kind of protection order in place for her now ?

crispyduck · 18/03/2007 19:45

tbh she needs a refuge....she needs help and support from the right people who deal with this..how awful..if he finds her, he will either beat her again or convince that he will never do it again...please urge her to take herself to a refuge...Hugs to you all x

ThisTime · 18/03/2007 19:53

where are her and her toddler now?

amidaiwish · 18/03/2007 20:00

a friend of mine was killed by her dp
please make her realise this is not beyond the realms of possibility
she must get out and stay out and get him put away. she must be strong and go through with this. no forgiveness, second chances, nothing nothing nothing. thank goodness she has you.

Original poster

changedforthis · 18/03/2007 20:25

They are at her mum's house at the moment - he knows where this is, but he lives a couple of hours drive away.

The police have installed a panic alarm in the house so that if he turns up she connects immediately to the police station.

amidaiwish, sorry to hear about your friend . My dh spoke to a police officer about it beforehand and he said the same thing - if he's gone this far then the next step is for him to kill her.

OP posts:

zookeeper · 18/03/2007 20:28

Go with her to a family lawyer and ask for an emergency application for an occupation order to be made - if it is granted (which sounds a no-brainer) the police will arrest him if he goes near the home. Go to a large firm which has a legal aid franchise

Also call police and ask to speak to domestic violence unit.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 18/03/2007 20:28

Oh shite. Thats awful

I think its a pretty poor show to make such promises without guarantees. I'm surprised he was bailed, tbh. He is clearly a threat.

Is there an injuction out to prevent him coming anywhere near - is this part of his bail conditions?

zookeeper · 18/03/2007 20:30

good point veni - presumably it will be part of his bail conditions not to go near her. If it is no need for the occupation order as she will be protected by the bail conditions

Original poster

changedforthis · 18/03/2007 20:45

Just found out that the bail conditions forbid him to contact her in any way and if he wants to see dd he has to go through a solicitor.

It's just going to be the longest 2 months of our lives.

OP posts:

nevermore · 18/03/2007 20:51

If your friend/relative is in London, Women's Aid are fantastic & will provide refuge-type accommodation very rapidly. There is a Refuge 24 hour phone line which is hard to get through to but persevere, you do make it. I think this is the best bet as although injunctions (I think she needs a non-molestation one rather than occupation as this relates more to assault prevention) can help the police with arrest they tend to be useful once the perpetrator has breached the conditions. It is after all just a piece of paper.

Far better is to utilise the bail conditions. There will be one which says he cannot contact the 'victim' either directly or indirectly. This means if he so much as calls anyone to say she should drop the charges or to make any sort of threat he can be rearrested and taken back to court. Bail should then be refused at least once so it will buy her some time with him inside. She won't need to go to court for this either.

Once it comes to trial by the way she doesn't need to look at him across the court but can have screens etc.

The local DV unit (domestic violence) at the police station should have contact numbers for Refuge and if she's in London there will be advocacy workers at the stations who help with housing/refuge issues. Do it tomorrow or tonight if possible. It is by far the safest option, panic alarm or not.

Good luck.

nevermore · 18/03/2007 20:57

Sorry, to clarify one thing, if he does make any threats she/you should contact the officer in the case (every case has one) or their detective sergeant telling them he's breached his bail. The officer is there for HER and it is considered a very serious matter to breach bail. Get the direct number to the DV unit at the police station and use it.

Sorry if I sound so dictatorial. I work on one of these unit and know that sometimes it's hard to get through to the relevant person. If you've left a message and heard nothing and he has breached his bail, go over the officers head to his/her supervisor. If the sergeant isn't there, ask for the detective inspector.

Regards.

weepootleflump · 18/03/2007 21:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Callmemadam · 18/03/2007 21:38

As a JP, I am very shocked that he received bail, especially after threats to kill. It is good to know that our area is now pioneering specialist Domestic Violence Courts where such cases will be dealt with in the future. Sadly I agree with nevermore that she should get into a Refuge as a matter of urgency, please. The police DV team should have conducted a risk assessment on her by now, and will have a strategy for how to protect her : this is now a requirement for police forces since high profile DV cases such as the Thames Valley shootinga of a few years ago. However, the police cannot track him every minute of every day and as an abuser he will go to extraordinary lengths to keep control of her. A Refuge is possibly her safest option.

Original poster

changedforthis · 21/03/2007 12:33

Thanks to everyone for the advice. She is adamant she's not going into a refuge as she doesn't want to take her toddler somewhere like that.

Callmemadam, the police force she made her statement to have apparently lodged a complaint against the force who arrested/released him.

OP posts:

Callmemadam · 26/03/2007 22:09

I am SO glad to hear they have lodged a complaint - it sounds as if you are saying that he was bailed by the police, but it may also be that the courts made the decision. Sometimes the CPS does not manage to put sufficient information before us to make a refusal of bail inevitable - if I can express it like that. Please let us know what happens. Also please reassure your contact that refuges - while not ideal - are a tremendous source of support as well as safety, and she should at least make contact so that if she has to run (God forbid) she knows where to run to.

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