COD or anyone else with legal knowledge, can you help please?

[StrawberrySnowflakes]

my mum has been divorced over 10 years, she has struggled to apy mortgage and as result is now thousands of pounds in arrears.
We cant pay off arrears and re-mortgage as his name is still on mortgage
we cant get his name off mortgage becasue she is in arrears
even if she could pay off arrears, they would then want her to pay 6 months of full apyments(twice as much as she can afford to pay at minute), and then they would 'consider' letting her remortgage in her own name..only they wouldnt do it as she cant afford full amount now!

he agreed to sign house over to her(through solictors) so she could re mortgage and do repairs, but none of this can be done as she is in arrears

only route we can take is to sell.
house is falling down atround her.
got offer, buyer had survey, searches everything done.

solicitor sent him numerous letters explaining what she ahs ahd to do..no reply..(or not that they have told us about)..mum gets letter this morning, from hers with letter from his..........he will sign for sale but wants money from sale.

we knew he would do this as hes a fucking wanker, but what can we do.

mum has no money, cant work as is quite ill(copd, diabetes, arthritus and on and on)
he works on the oil rigs and is earning very good money i would assume, he hasnt contributed for over ten years.

solicitor last week said if he wouldnt sign all over it would have to go to court, money would be held by them until they decide who gets what!!!!!!
what the hell will happen to my mum?
how long will this take?
would he get half?

anyone?

spoke to our own solicitor who i have instructed to sell mums(sort of family), she said it prob wouldnt go to court and he should get anywhere near half, but all these 'shouldnt's' make me stressed

Hi Strawberry

the improtant thing is to sell the house and pay off the mortgage so that the debt stops rising. The pproceeds can then be held pending any agreement between your mum and dad. The good news is that your mum has an offer as it sounds as though she is struggling.

Most agreements are reached without going to court - what your mum will get will depend on how long the mariage was, who contributed wht during the marriage (and by that I mean bringing up the children, etc not just financial contributions) and their financial positions now. It's impossible to advise without knowing all that but account would be taken of the fact that your mum has been paying into the mortgage since the marriage ended as will the fact that he is on a good income now.

I hope that helps

what was on the consent order? He may not have right to the house in spite of being on the deeds. It's a tad complex.

it doesn't sound as though there is one - is there Straberry?

(all a consent order is is an agreement signed by both parties and stamped by the court that did the divorce).

thanks for that..no nothing was signed just verbally agreed as we wanted him out of our lives asap, so mum cut all ties.

he rarely worked' legally' whilst living with my mum, he was on dole/working illegally for years on and off, mum cleaned and brought me and brother up.
grandad was first named on mortgage/deeds, but when he dies in 1991, he(dont like to say father!)was the one who was first named..but!.....he told my mum that as he wasnt working, they were getting mortgage paid by dss......they didnt!..and so began the arears!..he left/was kicked out in 1995 leaving my mum with the mortgage and all his arrears which she has never got out of.
my mum said they should consider what he paid into house between 91-95 and offer than, solicitor(family friend) said they may work out what hosue was worth when he left and half that..but then my mum owes 10k, plus sol/agents fees.etc.so he sould be liable for that, meaning a big fat minus!..argh, just dont know and am so stressed trying to sort it all for her.
we have meeting with her solicitor tuesday afternoon.
Dp thinks we should say he should get nothing as if we start at say 5k, hell work up..if we start at nothing, mum will be better off?????dont know

and thankyou so much for exlpaining some of it to me Zookeeper..im stressed to hell about her here

don't be stressed out strawberry - you're doing the right thing by supporting your mum whilst she gets legal advice - I'd take a list of questions you want answered with you so you feel you've asked everything.

what you offer depends on details I don't know about, such as the length of the marriiage etc but if there's no £ he can't have it, whate ver he might be entitled to

It doesn't sound like he's got much of a claim if anything but again can't say wiithout knowing more. Most settlements are done through correspondence and noone need go near a court if they can reach an agreement. Once the solicitors have all the financial details they have an idea of what a court might award.

they were married about 25 years, had mortage for about 15 and profit from sale(but all fees to come off) will be about £50'000.yes a lot, but she has no other income so this will be her 'rent' for next however many years?
can they bring up any other 'bad' marks agaisnt him, like why she divirced him in first place????

behaviour is not normally relevant unless it is really bad.

After a long marriage the starting point would be a 50/50 split taking into account pensions, earnings,etc. I hate to second guess your solicitor without knowing anything but if he's asking for money a bolshy letter back asking to see his financial details will put the wind up him.

the value of the house at the date they separated would be relevant as well as details of what(if anything) he's paid since

god i ahev no idea abotu this atall

hes paid nothing since 1994, he is earning very goos money now
i will ask solicitor to send stroppy letter re his money, she did mention this a while back and asked what he was likely to spend his money on as then something along the lines of she could claim some of what he has???dont know am confused now..
reason he left was partially after a marrage of beatings, but mainly because i told my mother about him he sexually abused me from being 3years old until i was old neough to question him at 13. but dont know if they will allow this case to be brought up, esp as he was never found guilty

thanks anyway Cod, Zookeeper is really helping

I would definitely raise this behaviour and ask to see his full financial details if your mum can face it to see if it is worth claiming against him in respect of the marriage.

Sorry to hear that Strawberry - how dare he crawl out of the woodwork now

its ok, but i know..as soon as i put phone down from mum telling me he was after money, i broke down, i just dont 'DO' that anymore, but some tiny part of me thought, well maybe just maybe he may show some kind of remorse for what he did and walk away.but no..im better now, but want my mum to get everything she is entitled too and get this bastard out of her life for good, even though he was found not guilty re me, the police officer dealing with it even said he made her skin crawl and waht she sadi to him off tape shook him up.still..........hes walking around like a lord now, no one knowing what her did and were here still picking up his pieces 12 years on.

i will ask solicitor on ties if they can bring it up, she wasnt aware of it before i menttioned it in previous meeting?, anything to get that bastard dealt with

Sorry Strawberry I didn't realise that he had actually been prosecuted found not guilty so if you raise it in the divorce settlement his solicitors will deny it.

He will know he's guilty, though, so I would certainly mention it - discuss it with your solicitor so she will understand where you and your mum are coming from.

Hope it goes well on tues

thanks zookeeper, i really appreciate all your helpful advice.will let you know how it went.x

Yes do

am off to solicitor, just checking back for tips from you earlier in week..rang other solicitor dealing with sale(aunties sister) shes not heard anything back so will see how far we get here!.fingers crossed!

hi zookeeper, thanks to your advice, meeting went quite well.

told solicitor my mums reasons for telling him he was not entitled to anything...not been around 12 years, wasnt paying mortgage when he was here etc etc..she noted it all down and then asked if she could broach a sensitive subject..me.
i said i was prepared for that and said if it would help my mums case, then she could use anything she wanted, she said this would really help as well as the fact he used to beat my mum, brother and grandad up.
solicitor is giving him 14 days to reply, if he contests and says he wants some of the profit from sale, we will then take it to court and start..is it ..argh cant remember name some proceedings..sounds like auxillary??..so money would stay with our solicitor, we still refuse to alow him anything then court decide(based on all new information) if he gets anything or not(if it gos this far?)..we will say my mum needs x amount for rent, furniture, bond, bills for whereever she is living and rest is held upon their descision.
she also said she would state that if he did want to take it further to court, then he would then incure court costs and more legal fees effectivly getting him into debt...so am well and truely keeping my fingers crossed.
am very very and nervous

That all sounds really positive.

She meant making an ancillary relief claim - all that means is that if both parties to a divorce can't come to a financial agreement then it is open to one of them to start proceedings to ask the court to decide.

It all sounds daunting but all it is is that one of you sends in a one page application to the court (there is a fee payable of £210 but she will nothave to stump up for that as she is legally aided). The court then sends both identical timetables and a list of things that both them have to do. The first thing is that both of them will have to fill out a long form setting out their financial circumstances. They have to supply 12 months' bank statemnts, 3 payslips and a P60, a mortgage redemption statement, details of any assetssuvch as policies etc withuptodate values and a current transfer value of their pension etc etc.

They are ususally given 6 weeks to do that and each party exchanges their details. Once the solicitors can see exactly what he is worth they can then usually make an informed offer to settle.

It seems to concentrate the minds of the most ostrich-like men (because of course it is usually the women who issue) once they get the timetable from the court. It looks very official and in effect not to comply is contempt of court.

Most solicitors uaually start ancillary relief proceedings where they have not been getting any response form the other party to their polite requests to see their financial details because only once they have those details can they get a clear idea of what their client is entitled to.

Once those details have been exchanged there is a mini hearing at the court just to establish that all the details are correct and to see if any further information is needed or any further questions need to be asked. A few weeks down the line from that if no agreement has been reached there will be another hearing which usually lasts about half an hour and is in front of a District Judge. Both parties put forward their position - so in your case you will be saying that he is a nasty bastard who has not supported the family since he left and should get nothing - and the District Judge gives his/her views on what he would order if he was to judge this at a final hearing. Often both parties go outside an manage to bash out an agreement which is then stamped by the court but if that looks unlikely the court simply sets a date for a final hearing where if they can't agree beforehand, a different judge who is fresh to the case will decide who gets what on hearing all the evidence.

The final hearing is where costs really rise as a lot of preparation need to be done and barristers are instructed to represent each side on the day and to cross-eaxamine the other side etc.

Most people never get this far because of the costs. an agreement can be reached in correspondence at any time and the whole thing stops.

If once you see his details your mum makes a resonable offer of settlemnt along the lines that a court might order then he would be forced to consider very carefully whether to accept it or not. If he rejects it and so your mum has to go all the way to a final hearing and the court agrees that your mum#'s offer was reasonable, then he might well be orderd to pay all her costs for forcing her to take him to court.

Your mum will qualify for legal aid (it's now called public funding) but don't forget she will have to pay her solicitor's costs out of anything she preserves or recovers over £3000 (I think that's the current level but check). So if she gets the whole £40,000, say, then her costs will be taken out of the £37,000.

I've got a bit carried away but I wanted to point out that they system really is quite efficient and not as intimidating as it is depicted on the tv/media - the first hearing are very low key and informal. The final hearing is the one where it all gets very formal but it rarely comes to that and even then a lot of people settle at the door of the court.

I hope that made the procedure you may end up following a bit clearer but again your solicitor who knows all the details wiill have the best advice for your mum

Zookeeper, you are fabulous...i was sat in car thinking "ancillary "!..not auxillary..yes everything you said, she said similar today although not as in depth.
like you mention, she said she would emphasize that should it go to court then he would incur costs and probably my mums too..so we'll have to see where it go's.
feel very drained!
my mum is ok now that she knows she will get as much as she needs to live on until it comes about, so am hoping and praying it all go's through quickly and as painlessly as possible for her.
thankyou so much for all you advice, you really have helped as you have explained things to me in laymans terms..are you actually a solicitor yourself?

and also the info you say the'd want...i cant see him wanting to provide all that!, so hopefully it will put him off

yes I am Strawberry. I think anyone can do family law - it's not rocket science just common sense most the time .

although brains beauty and charisma help