divorce, mainteneance for me, any point in trying to get some??

[pirategirl]

HI,

I am nearly divorced and 2 yrs ago, when i first started the proceedings, my husband was being quite good about giving me money. He left the marriage ver suddenly, and at the time was giving me money for me and money for our d.

At the same time I was claiming benefits, and altho I know it was wrong, at the time I took money from him as well as having my rent paid, as I was left holding the baby, in the middle of the countryside, no transport etc... I was in no fit state to work, and i needed the money. I spoke to the solicitor at the time, and bearing in mind I thought I would at some point get back in to work, decided that a'clean break' financially was better, with him contributing, as and when, and also he was being good about it,

ahem, 3 months later he met someone else who has children, and dedcided to stop giving me money, couldnt undersatnd why he should even 'owe me' ( the fact we were married maybe??!!) anything.
2 yrs on, and I am being asked by the soliciter if I want t0 go for maintenence. My problem is that one yr ago, he threatened to report me for fraud to the housing for taking that money off him when he first walked out.
I cant deny i had the money cos, it went straight out of his account in to our landlords, whilst at the same time I was geting theother money.
I know I have done wrong, but at the time i was safegaurding my child, and in a way i am glad i had the extra cos he doesnt give much now.
I just feel I am being blackmailed by someone who is very nasty.

get what you can off him after all any maintenance money is for your d not for you.
good luck im going through similiar probs so lets keep our heads held high and take what we can.

I'd ask Citizen's Advice Bureau or Child Poverty Action Group for some advice on the benefits stuff. And call his ruddy bluff, scoundrel. How does he think blackmailing you or putting you through the stress of a benefits investigation will affect your child? Or is he too stupid or selfish to think about that?

Is he paying maintenance for your (his!) child? Because I'd make damn sure he is, even if you need to take advice on maintenance for yourself. What happened to division of marital assets?

The thing is, i am talking about maintenence for me, my dd is entitled, but if a man has left the marriage I am entitled too, untill I get married again. Or tyhere can be other clauses.
The spouse is entitled, as it is made up of the fact we gave up working to have a family etc...

my problem is how likely is it, if he reports me to the housing, that they will investigate me from 2 yrs ago??

Also, I know for a fact that he took bens, and worked, but is was cash so I have no way of proving it. This btw, is something I know but would never dob him in unless extremely neccessary.

Or should i just give up on the useless selfish man, and think, ok,you r now a mean pig, let it be on your conscience???

I never got a penny for myself let alone anything for dc ,leave him to his sad little life and at least you'll know you can be even happier knowing how mean and careless he really is....goodluck
cat me if you need to talk at all

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