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Original poster

Divorce and mortgage - really need some advice please!

14 replies

stirling · 30/04/2017 21:28

Can anyone please advise me on this very awkward situation? In a nutshell, I've been married to a serial adulterer for 14 years, 2 kids and as a result of the extreme stress I've had some horrendous health problems.

He's been wanting to leave since the start and is now demanding a divorce 3 weeks before I have an operation due. Two years ago I ended up going through a serious mental breakdown because I was sole carer for the children during the debilitating health issues that followed a brain haemorrhage, whilst he was busy being the over-excited 16 year old in a new relationship.
He's prepared to sign the house over to me in order to be shot of me. Trouble is, the building society won't put the mortgage into my name. I don't earn very much because I'm unable to work full time but he's prepared to continue paying expenses as he currently does, I expect out of guilt.

A solicitor has told me that no county court judge will agree to the case - ie where he ends up with nothing.
Yet it's his fervent wish to be rid of me, his sense of urgency that's pushing him to happily sign the house over to me and continue paying for the mortgage /household expenses (he has an extra income that he doesn't declare - to me or to anyone, he's a successful artist, at times gets lump sums.)
He currently apparently lives with his mummy but I'm not sure.

Any advice on how I can get the building society to agree? And the judge to agree given that we're both in agreement about the house?

Thank you in advance

OP posts:
19lottie82 · 01/05/2017 15:10

You can't "sign a house over to someone" unless they make enough to take out a new mortgage.

Unfortunately, as you have DCs, I don't think your partner can shirk his responsibility re the house he will need to stay on the mortgage or it will have to be sold.

19lottie82 · 01/05/2017 15:13

Your post is slightly confusing. What do you want a judge to agree to? If your husband wants to give you certain assets from the marriage then you don't need a court to approve this part of the arrangement. But as I said he won't be able to just hand over the house to you if the mortgage is outstanding.

The only way you could convince the BS is if you're income increased by enough to afford the mortgage.

user1471530109 · 01/05/2017 15:15

Your solicitor is wrong. I am in a similar position and my ex has signed house into my name only. He has taken nothing (ok, the car).

However, I earn enough to take on the mortgage on my own.

My solicitor did say it depends on how much equity there is. There wasn't too much in the marital home so it wouldn't have made sense to sell it to give him a small amount.

If you can't take on the mortgage, isn't think what you're asking is possible. Is there anyway a family member would help? Flowers

crazymissdaisy · 01/05/2017 15:19

I have got a mortgage through a broker, even though main banks had turned me down, as I had one default on my credit file thanks to abusive XH . The bank I have a mortgage with will count benefits as additional income (such as child benefit, tax credits).

Original poster
stirling · 01/05/2017 15:52

Many thanks for the replies. My dad, who's unwell with cancer has offered to pay a some of the mortgage off. I'll have to speak to the building society again on Tuesday.

OP posts:
43percentburnt · 01/05/2017 15:55

Speak to a mortgage broker. Some lenders use all income received including child benefit, maintenance, dla, careers, pip etc.

Original poster
stirling · 01/05/2017 15:56

Lottie I was confused because the solicitor said that no court will agree to my husband handing over a house, having nowhere to live (his mum's) and handing over his virtual full salary too. I'm not the one who's demanding a divorce despite the fact that the children are torn apart and desperately unhappy, yet I have to consider his financial wellbeing in this whole sorry affair. I'm so angry about it all.

OP posts:
19lottie82 · 01/05/2017 18:17

OP as stated your H doesn't need a court to "agree" to him giving you something. If it was an arguement and you were asking a judge to step in to help decide how assets were split then fair enough but your husband can give who he wants what he wants! (Apart from a loan / mortgage to someone who can't afford to pay it)

NotDavidTennant · 01/05/2017 18:29

I think what the solicitor is getting at is that you want him to sign over a percentage of his salary to you. He can do that on a voluntary basis, but for it to be legally binding it would have to be part of a court settlement and would have to be agreed by a judge.

startagainagain · 02/05/2017 07:15

I'd be worried that without a court order, he might change circumstances post divorce and not pay the mortgage, for which you would be liable. But court orders only stand for 12 months and if circumstances change, so can they.

If your dad can help that sounds ideal and get ex to sign mortgage to you. However make sure you then get a clean break financial order so he can't come back for assets at a later date/when your DC reach 18 and make you sell?

Very good luck with surgery OP.

RedHelenB · 02/05/2017 10:33

Could you pay the mortgage based on CSA payments alone? If so then a court could rule he signs the house over to you in the future when you could afford the mortgage. Courts do agree "unequal" division of assets based on one party having greater earning power. I had sizeable equity and had the house signed over to me but I managed to secure a mortgage.

Original poster
stirling · 02/05/2017 17:30

Thank you everyone. The advice here is so helpful - I realise now that I'm quite confused about the whole thing.
I do want some kind of legal document that stops him from contesting his 'gesture of goodwill " at a later date... Startagain - that's my concern too.
Feeling a bit more optimistic. Going to find a better solicitor.

OP posts:
user1471530109 · 02/05/2017 21:06

Stirling, I am right at the end if the process. You solicitor is wrong to say that a court won't agree to a consent order like this. I had to jump through a few more hoops, but my ex (cheating arsehole) did convince them he was happy to sign it all over to me.

But, I do have the salary to take on the mortgage. Some banks will take maintenance as an income (HSBC have just said no to my mortgage application in regards to this. But would in their calculation for affordability). How old are your dc ?

My advice is to solve the mortgage affordability problem. The rest will or can be sorted.

A friend solicitor once said to me, that the ex will eventually lose the feeling of guilt and will go back on the promise of signing houses over and maintenance etc. I have found this to be the case over the case of 3 yrs of separation. I doubt I'd have got what I have in a couple more yrs.

The best of luck to you Wine x

Original poster
stirling · 04/05/2017 21:46

Thanks for that - yes I appreciate he may change his mind. I'm seeing a different solicitor next week.

OP posts:
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